WWIII
by catholicorprotestant
Summary: Francis and Arthur love each other, right? They fight constantly with Alfred and Matthew in the middle of it. How will it affect them? FrUK, FACE family Human AU.
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first time writing, so please give me any feedback!_

_Trigger warning!_

_**Note: I originally planned this differently, so I've gone back and changed the first few chapters with names, but nothing else changed, to make it a human AU.***_

* * *

The screaming had started the second Francis came into the door. Arthur was mad because he was late coming home. Francis walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine, ignoring Arthur's demanding screams.

Matthew huddled in the corner crying, hugging his bear as tears fell down his cheeks. He was so tired of the yelling, fighting and screaming. He jumped as the sound of breaking glass rang through the house. Arthur had thrown the glass out of Francis's hand. Alfred appeared next to his brother and hugged him. "It'll be okay, Mattie." He nudged him. Matthew looked at him through tear filled eyes.

"Why won't they stop?" He whispered.

"Parents fight." He said.

"Why do I even try with you?" Francis shouted throwing his hands up.

"Oh yes, because it's soooo easy to live with you! You are such a bloody twat!"

"What is your problem?" Francis demanded.

"My problem? Where have you been? You were supposed to be home an hour ago! How dare you come in with no explanation? Plus you're always drinking wine!"

"I can't handle you sober!" Francis screamed.

"They always fight though." Matthew whimpered into his twin's shoulder.

"Come on, Mattie. Let's go for a walk." Alfred pulled his brother to his feet and let him to the front door. As he opened it, he heard Arthur yell at them.

"Where are you two going?" He screamed, pushing Francis out of his way. "Get back in this house."

"They want to get away from you, obviously." Francis sneered.

"Shut up! Alfred, Matthew, get back in this house!" Alfred glared at him and threw him the bird as he slammed the door shut.

Once outside, the yelling was muffled. The air was lighter. Alfred took a deep breath and the familiar smile, only he knew to be faked, was on his face. He glanced at Matthew who was sitting on the grass.

"Mattie, let's go get food." Alfred suggested. Matthew followed silently. "It will be okay. They do love each other."

Alfred wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself or his brother more. Francis and Arthur had loved each other at one point. Some days the fighting wasn't bad and the family felt better, closer. There was laughter. On those days, Francis and Arthur would cuddle with each other while they listened to Matthew and Alfred talk about things. Those days were good days, but they were getting rarer.

The two brothers reached McDonalds and Alfred rushed inside. He had already ordered 8 burgers and a large coke before Matthew reached his side. "You want anything?" He asked. Matthew looked at the menu.

"Pancakes!" He smiled.

"I'm sorry, we aren't serving breakfast right now." The cashier informed him.

"I want…I wanted pancakes." Matthew mumbled, tears forming in his eyes. His stomach grumbled. Francis and Arthur had both forgotten about giving the two boys food.

"Look, dude, my brother wants pancakes. I'll slip you an extra twenty if you just give him pancakes."

"We don't have pancakes at this time."

"That's a load of crap and you know it. Just go get them in the back freezer, okay?" Alfred handed the cashier a fifty and told him to keep the change.

"Right away, sir!" He ran off to the back and Alfred smiled at his twin.

"Where do you want to sit?" Matthew looked around the restaurant.

"Over there looks nice." The walked over to a secluded booth by the window in the corner. Alfred was happy to see Matthew more relaxed. Home was terrible. It made him want to punch a wall, but that would lead to more yelling. He sipped his drink and thought about when they were kids. Arthur had been so good with him then. Now he was rude and harsh with him. Matthew had been extra close with Francis, but now he was often ignored. It seemed that both boys had lost the place in their fathers' hearts they once held.

"Alfred?" Matthew said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Papa will be home tonight?" Arthur had a habit of throwing Francis out the front door. Those nights were worse for the two boys than when Francis stayed. At least when Francis was there, Alfred and Matthew were being ignored rather than spat at for everything. Poor Matthew had spilled his cup of juice the day before and Arthur blew up. When Francis was there, he was the one who took the verbal beating from Arthur.

"I don't know." Alfred said. "I hope so. Just wait and see. Don't worry about that right now. How was school?" Matthew shrugged.

"It was okay. I got sat on…again." Alfred rolled his eyes.

"Man, people need to watch it." Their order number was called and Alfred jumped up. "Wahoo! Wait here, I'll go get that!" He ran to counter and brought the food back, a burger already placed in his mouth.

Matthew watched his brother scarf down the burgers. He knew it was how Alfred dealt with the stress of their home life. He wished he could get his brother to snap out of it. He knew Alfred was trying to be strong for him, so he plastered a huge smile on his face and shoved food down his throat. He wondered how his brother wasn't obese. The two sat in silence as they ate, the only noise coming from Alfred. Matthew played with the syrup on his plate to make sure he soaked up every bit of maple syrup.

Finally the two were done. Alfred suggested going to the park. Matthew happily agreed. They loved the park. Francis and Arthur used to take them there when they were little kids. Things weren't so bad then. "Last one to the swings is a rotten egg!" Alfred laughed sprinting toward the swing set.

"Hey, no fair! You got a head start!" Matthew called running after his brother.

"Haha, I win!" Alfred said as Matthew got to the swing. He was standing in one of them, swinging back and forth.

"You cheated."

"Uh, no, I didn't." Alfred rolled his eyes with the same huge smile. Matthew sat down in the swing next to him. Alfred jumped out of his swing and sat down on it instead. "Hey, let's see who can swing the highest." Matthew put Kumajirou, the bear Francis had given him as a child, down next to the pole and pushed his feet hard on the ground to catch up to his brother.

In the end, Matthew ended up winning which put Alfred in a slightly down mood. Matthew reminded him he had won the race to the swing set which seemed to cheer him up. The two stayed on the swings until the sun began to set. Alfred sighed.

"It's time." He said sadly. Matthew gripped the bear tightly to his chest and the two walked home. Alfred wished he had taken some burgers to go, but it was okay. He'd raid the kitchen later.

When they opened the door, they saw their parents pushing each other. Matthew dropped Kumajirou and ran to Francis. Alfred grabbed Arthur and they pulled them apart. It was such a common occurrence, the boys knew what to do before even acting. Arthur struggled to get at Francis, but Alfred's grip kept him from getting loose. Francis brushed his hair back and shot daggers at Arthur.

"I cannot believe you!" Francis said as he poised himself and straightened his clothes.

"Alfred, let me go this instant!" Arthur shouted.

"No, Mama!" Alfred yelled. Arthur sent a swift elbow to Alfred's ribs and stomped on his foot. Alfred bit his lip from the pain and Arthur tried to pull Alfred's arms off his waist.

"Stop beating up our son." Francis said coolly.

"Make me, you bloody frog." Francis slapped him. It was the one insult Francis would not tolerate.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Suddenly Arthur had calmed down. Alfred let go slightly and when he was sure Arthur was calm let go. He held his side. Arthur was reduced to sobs in Francis's chest. Francis held him.

"Now, now, mon amour." Francis murmured into his ear. "It's going to be just fine. I'm sorry. I love you."

"I'm sorry too. I just…" Arthur let out one final sob. "I just wish you were here when you say you will. It's no secret you're beautiful and I can't help but realize you could be with anyone."

"But I'm with you." Francis breathed before kissing Arthur gently.

"I'm sorry. I love you so much it hurts." Arthur whispered before locking lips with the Frenchman once more.

Alfred smiled over at Matthew. It seemed that for tonight, there would be peace. For how long, he didn't know. It hurt for him to breathe, but it was okay if it had allowed the two to stop fighting. Now all he needed was to find food.

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_Okay, so that's the first chapter. Please let me know what you think! _


	2. Chapter 2

_To clear up a question, I received: No, England is not gender bent. In the Hetalia fandom, it is common to refer to the "parents" of the FACE family as Papa France and Mama England. France is more like a dad in his personality where England is more strict like a mom._

_I hope this clears that up! =) _

_Thank you for reading and please continue to give feedback and ask questions. _

* * *

Alfred was awaked to the sound of cooking and the delicious smell of breakfast. He got up and woke up Matthew. "What?" Matthew mumbled.

"Something weird is going on, but good." Matthew sat up realizing what Alfred meant. They would actually eat this morning without having to find their own. Matthew smiled at his brother. The two snuck to the kitchen where they saw Francis cooking and Arthur sitting on the counter laughing and talking to him.

"I cannot believe that. You have to be joking!" Arthur was saying.

"Non, I swear it. All over the place. It was so funny." The two erupted into a fit of laughter before Arthur grabbed Francis's face and kissed him.

"I miss this Francis."

"I miss it too, Arthur."

"And I miss you." Francis's eyes searched Arthur's face. He missed Arthur too, but it was hard to even remember him before.

"And I, you. But we're here now and zings are going to change." Francis poked Arthur's nose getting flour on it. He giggled and Arthur threw some flour in Franciss face.

The twins watched with silent glee as the two threw flour back and forth until Arthur had jumped on Francis and started kissing him while Francis held him up kissing back. Alfred and Matthew were both shocked. This had been the longest they'd gone without gone without fighting. They were beginning to think it was impossible for Francis and Arthur to be civil.

"Good morning!" Alfred broke the silence as he walked in. Matthew's stomach knotted. He just wanted to watch them be happy for a little longer. Arthur jumped down and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Alfred." He hugged him. "How is your side? I'm so sorry."

"Uh, it's doing fine. I'm good." Matthew stood in the entry hugging his bear wondering what to do. Francis was now greeting Alfred. He loved how they looked like a real family. He enjoyed seeing the younger twin happy, real happiness. Alfred didn't know his brother could see through him.

"And where is my Matthiew?" Francis asked. Matthew coughed. Francis went to him and hugged him. Matthew hugged him back tightly, not ever wanting to let go. Francis leaned back. "You're getting so big. I am sorry things have been the way they have been. Papa loves you so much!"

"I love you too." Matthew smiled. Arthur was looking at him with an odd expression in his eyes. It made Matthew nervous. Alfred smiled at his brother who was still being hugged and talked to by Francis. He was happy that his brother was happy. He looked back at Arthur. Though he'd never admit it, he wished that Arthur would show as much affection toward him and Francis did to toward Matthew.

"Come on, Alfred." Arthur muttered. "Help me set the table." Alfred helped, ever so often glancing over to Matthew and Francis as they spoke to each other in French and laughed. A warm smile spread across his face.

Arthur was looking too, the anger and jealously building up. Why was it so easy for the brat to talk to him? He was the reason that Francis started paying less attention to Arthur. He was obviously Francis's favorite person. It should have been him! He should be the favorite! And that brat was also why he wasn't as close to Alfred as he used to be. Arthur slammed plates and cups around.

"Mon amour, be more gentle." Francis smiled.

"Don't you bloody criticize me!" Arthur snapped.

"I want not criticizing you. I was just saying that…"

"That I can't do anything? That I'm always screwing up? That I'm not up to par? I'm never good enough for you, am I?" Arthur's eyes narrowed. Alfred and Matthew tensed up. Why did he always ruin it?

"You know what, you are doing it perfectly. Keep going." Francis said trying to keep the peace.

"Don't you patronize me!"

"Arthur, I swear…" Arthur pushed Francis against the wall. Matthew ran to hide behind Alfred. Francis glared at Arthur. "Can we just enjoy a nice breakfast a family?"

"Breakfast…because I can't do that either!" He shoved Francis again. This time Francis pushed him back. Arthur got a wild look in his eye and threw the food off the stove to the floor. Alfred and Matthew were shocked. There went the idea of breakfast.

"Why did you do zat?" Francis snapped, pushing Arthur away as he went to clean it up. "Now what will Alfred and Matthew eat?" Arthur sneered.

"Alfred's such a pig, he'll eat it off the floor." Arthur kicked Francis and stormed out of the room. Francis glanced at the two boys.

"I'm sorry. How about I take you both out!" Francis suggested.

"Yeah!" Matthew smiled. Alfred shrugged. He knew this would only cause more problems, but he was too hungry and stressed to care.

Francis took the two boys to Denny's which made Matthew and Alfred both excited. He wished he could help them or save them. He knew it bothered Matthew, but he wasn't as sure about Alfred. He seemed happy enough. Was he playing dumb or did he really not get it? Matthew rested his head on Alfred's shoulder as they waited for their food.

"I so totally don't understand why this menu doesn't let me mix and match. I mean maybe I want everything." He sighed and put the menu down.

"Why don't you just get pancakes?" Matthew smiled.

"Maybe. I don't know."

"What are you getting, Papa?" Alfred asked.

"I don't know yet." He offered him a smile.

"Well you better hurry up because we have Antonio's party soon." Francis had completely forgotten in the midst of everything. The party…Arthur would be fuming today. It wasn't like their friends weren't used to it, but he hated them see him fight with Arthur. Ludwig was not going to be the mediator.

They finally all decided on what to order and ate in a quiet, but peaceful setting. Francis led them to the car and drove to Antonio's house where they party would be. Arthur was already there, spinning slightly in his seat giving Feliciano an annoyed look.

"Oh look, frog face is finally here with the moron." Matthew noticed that Arthur hadn't noticed him, but then again he was used to people not knowing who he was or noticing him for that matter.

"Shut up!"

"Make me." Francis sat down next to him.

"Zat can be arranged." He smiled. He had to make it look as though the fighting and insults didn't mean anything.

"Oh yeah? And just how do you plan on doing that?" Arthur grumbled. Francis wanted to kiss him and make him shut up, but he couldn't in front of the entire world.

"Just kiss already." Alfred laughed.

"I'd rather die." Arthur muttered, crossing his arms and looking the opposite direction.

Ludwig called everyone in the living room for everyone to come talk about Antonio's monthly project. Francis noticed how Feliciano was smiling widely at Ludwig. Antonio was lovingly stroking Lovino's hand despite his feigned annoyance. He sighed. He wished today was a good day where he was among those who were happy.

"What do you think, Francis?" Antonio asked.

"Um, I'm sorry. I missed zee question."

"Should we do a trash clean up around the town for my monthly volunteer activity?" Francis ignored Arthur's remark about him being trash and nodded.

"Oui. Sounds like a great idea!"

"And are you actually going to help?" Ludwig asked. "Or are you going to sit on the side and drink wine before taking all the credit?"

"Hey, I am very hard working! I just simply am too gorgeous to allow myself to sweat." He flipped his head to make his hair swoosh. Had Arthur noticed? God, he hoped he'd noticed and was over it.

"You don't work hard at anything. You couldn't work hard to save your life." Arthur snapped.

"Ze world is very important to preserve. It is our home after all."

"Oh, that's what's important. I get it. Why don't you go stare at yourself in the mirror since that's all you care about!" Arthur spat.

"Don't you start this!" Before they knew it, the two were in a full out brawl in the middle of the room. Alfred was laughing and egging it on, only to try to get them to release their frustrations here where they would have help. It got so tiring to break them up at home. Maybe they'd tire themselves out before then. Matthew was nowhere to be seen. Alfred shrugged and went back to laughing and throwing in comments to escalate the fight.

Finally Ludwig screamed and the short meeting for Antonio's request to an end. "Why do you do that?" Alfred jumped at his brother's sudden question.

"Dude, where'd you come from?"

"I've been sitting here…"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just totally into this." He looked over to where Francis and Arthur were glaring at each other, arguing quietly. "But yeah, what was your question?"

"Why do you always help them fight here?"

"If they fight here, they won't fight at home." Alfred said smiling. Matthew was skeptical. His brother's thought process was so childish and naïve, but he smiled know Alfred only had pure intentions. They decided to have good time for the rest of the party.

"Alfred, we're leaving!" Arthur called before mocking Francis as he followed him out of the building.

"Come on, bro." Alfred pulled Matthew out of his chair and led him toward out of the room.

"I can't believe you left me!" Arthur started as they got in the car. "You know how it felt to have to walk here?"

"Well maybe if you hadn't ruined breakfast, we wouldn't be in zis mess."

"Me? You think I'm the one who started this?" Arthur glared.

"Frankly, I do. Because you did."

"You're the one who started everything! You forced me to marry you." Francis tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Everything was fine before that."

"Black sheep." Francis muttered.

"Excuse me?" Arthur grabbed Francis by the front of his shirt.

"I said you are the black sheep." Arthur lost it and the two were finally in a screaming match. Matthew hid his face in Alfred's chest. Alfred hugged him.

"It will be okay." That's all Alfred could say. He didn't believe it himself, but he had to comfort his brother. He hoped they wouldn't crash. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to be the hero. That was who he was. He had to save everyone. "Can you two stop fighting? We don't want to die like this." He said. "You two are so annoying, geesh."

"Watch your mouth!" Arthur snapped. "And the next time we have a meeting, why not try to be presentable? You run around like a ragamuffin. I really don't see where either of you got your style."

"You're just stiff." Alfred laughed. He had to keep Arthur mad at him. It was the only way to ensure they got home safely.

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_Okay, that's chapter 2. Sorry if it jumped around too much. _


	3. Chapter 3

"See ya!" Alfred called as he and Matthew left the house. It had been three days of hell since the argument at the party. Three days had passed of Alfred yelling at Arthur trying to keep Arthur's insults at bay. Three days of trying to convince Matthew that everything would be okay and that Francis would be back. Arthur had called Francis sobbing that morning begging him to come back and apologizing profusely. Alfred had heard the conversation and knew it'd be best to let the two make up on their terms. Plus he needed to get away from all the tension. He hadn't nearly had enough to eat to keep his nerves at bay.

He almost ran to the Burger King on the corner. Matthew followed holding tightly to his bear. He missed Francis. He wanted to see him too, but Alfred told him it was best if they let their parents work out their fighting alone. Matthew knew he was probably right based on past experiences. Plus Alfred had promised a fun day. He had no idea what they were going to do, but it made him hopeful.

* * *

Arthur was in the kitchen drinking. He'd kicked Francis out for the millionth time and regretted it. Of course he let him back in after a few days, but he hated himself for throwing him out like that. He loved him so much. He hated that he said awful things to him so often. He didn't mean any of it. He never did. He wasn't good with words. He wasn't good at talking about how he felt. He felt so much pain in his heart. He wanted things to be like they were before. He remembered with a smile back when Francis had the idea to talk shit about Ludwig to everyone. It had been so much fun. He wanted that back, those times when they were laughing with each other and happy.

He heard music coming from upstairs. He sighed. Alfred must have left the stereo on again before he and Matthew left for whatever plan they had for the day. He set down his scotch and walked up the stairs. He found Francis dancing intensely in the loft. He smiled watching as he swayed his hips and leaped around.

"Arthur! Come join me!" Francis pulled him by the hand.

"No, I can't. I simply…" He laughed and Francis took his hand and danced around him. He was part of the dance whether he wanted to be or not. He didn't mind. A slow song came on and suddenly he found himself in Francis's arms. He tensed at first, but let himself mold into the man whom he loved. He breathed in his scent and closed his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered before putting his arms around his neck and holding tightly to the man's shirt.

"I love you too." Francis smiled. They looked into each other's eyes. Arthur pulled Francis' face to his and their lips met.

He was always amazed at the way Francis kissed him. It was a manner that captured his soul, made his heart skip a beat and his breathing stop. It hurt to love him so much. It hurt beyond belief. Tears filled his eyes. Why? Why must he be so enveloped in him? Any thought that Francis may not love him the same way or that Francis cared more for another person tore his heart apart. It scared him. He had gone so much of his life thinking that he hated the guy when the reality was he was drowning in love. Old habits die hard though, so arguments and fighting were just part of the territory. Luckily he knew their love was strong enough to forgive quickly.

"Do you really?" Arthur asked looking at him.

"Oui. More zan life itself."

"Don't lie to me."

"I promise, I am not lying." Francis smiled. The song was now a more upbeat and fast song, but he still held Arthur in his arms and swayed with him. He kissed him once more. "It is impossible not to love you."

"I'm such a wreck." Arthur whispered.

"In your wreckage, I find beauty." Francis breathed. Arthur's heart raced. It was this, this kind of shit that felt like he was being choked. Francis would say something so unbelievably beautiful and romantic, but Arthur couldn't take it. His heart felt like it was shattering. He could barely breathe being next to him, but he couldn't let go. It scared him not to be in control.

"Shall I dance for you?" Francis pulled away from him and started to strip tease. Arthur laughed and covered his face. He watched happily. Francis beckoned Arthur to him as he let his shirt drop to the ground. Arthur bit his lip trying to keep the stupid grin that was soon to emerge off his face. "Dance with me." Francis begged, kissing Arthur on the cheek. Arthur reluctantly agreed.

* * *

"Dude, look! Isn't that totally awesome?" Alfred asked grabbing Matthew's wrist and pointing at the new rollercoaster ride at the amusement park.

"It looks scary and dangerous." Matthew said softly.

"Dude, live a little! We have all day to have fun. Now come on the ride with me!"

"You just ate."

"Yeah, so?" Alfred put his hands on his hips.

"I don't want you to puke all over me."

"I won't puke on you." Alfred laughed and pulled his brother toward the line.

"I didn't say I'd go, Freddy!"

"Mattie, please!" Alfred begged, dropping to knees and holding his hands together. Matthew rolled his eyes and looked back at his brother.

"I swear, Alfred, if you puke on me…"

"I won't. I swear." Matthew found himself being dragged being his overly excited brother. He smiled, but the knot of fear built in his stomach. He let go of his brother's hand as they got to the line. "This is going to be totally cool!" Alfred smiled and sat on the rail. Matthew smiled. He could see that his brother was truly happy.

Soon it was their turn. Matthew grabbed the bar and started panicking silently as Alfred bounced in the seat next to him with excitement. He looked at his brother. "Matt, we'll be fine. It will be so much fun." Matthew offered a smile, but wasn't too convinced. As the ride started, Matthew closed his eyes. After a few seconds that seemed to last for hours, they pulled into the station. He opened his eyes and saw that Alfred had indeed puked all over the side of the car, but luckily the promise to not get it on him had followed through.

"Are you okay?" Matthew asked.

"I'm great." Alfred smiled. He was happy that for once he didn't have to find a bathroom. He hadn't had to worry about someone hearing. He followed Matthew to the next ride. The two eventually stopped for lunch.

"Do you think they're okay?" Matthew asked Alfred.

"I don't know. I think they just need to get laid." Matthew made a face and Alfred laughed. "Dude, I'm serious though. Get rid of the sexual tension and everything is fine."

"How would you know?" Alfred shrugged stuffing food into him mouth.

"I heard it on TV or the internet or something."

"Because that's always true."

"I know." Alfred smiled, bits of food all over his face. Matthew sighed and hugged his knees. He winced as one of the cuts was tugged a bit too sharply. At least he felt some kind of release from the pain of home.

* * *

When the two got home, they heard laughter and music. Matthew looked at Alfred. They smiled at each other. "I want to see!" Alfred ran upstairs. He saw Francis and Arthur throwing each other around the room dancing and laughing. "Al-Alfred, come join us." Arthur laughed. "Matthew too." Alfred smiled and motioned for Matthew to come up. It was such a nice change of pace. They danced together for a few hours before having dinner together.

"Can we watch a documentary?" Arthur asked, sipping his drink.

"Whatever you'd like." Francis smiled.

"What documentary are we going to watch?" Alfred asked through a full mouth. Arthur gave him a disapproving look.

"Alfred, don't talk with food in your mouth. It's horribly impolite."

"Whatever." He mumbled. Arthur sighed. He just wanted a little respect, but he never got it. "So what are we watching?" Alfred asked after swallowing.

"I haven't decided, but I think something about magic would be nice. Oh! How about the history of Halloween!"

"That sounds awesome!" Alfred cheered. The others agreed. Arthur smiled. For once, everyone was happy with him.

The family gathered in the living room. Matthew set up the TV. Alfred had slipped out of the room. Arthur snuggled up with Francis. He didn't even care Alfred had ditched out after making him feel that he was cared about. He had Francis holding him and a documentary on. That's all he needed. Alfred came back down a few minutes later and sat on the floor next to Matthew. Everything was perfect in that moment.

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_Okay, here's chapter 3! I decided to make it all happy. Please leave me feedback. =)_


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Alfred woke up to a silent house. He hadn't remembered even falling asleep, but here he was laying on the floor in the living room, a blanket placed on top of him and a pillow under his head. He wondered which one had done it. He smiled slightly realizing that any of them could have done it. When he rolled over, he saw Matthew next to him. He realized Arthur had taken care of him and Francis had taken care of Matthew. It was just how things had been since they were little.

He sat up and stretched. He smelled food and went to the kitchen to find Arthur cooking alone. "Whatcha cookin'?" Alfred asked going to stand by Arthur.

"Alfred, honestly…"

"What?"

"That grammar is atrocious. It's as if you didn't learn to speak from me."

"Chill out, bro." Arthur gave him a disapproving glance.

"Stop."

"Fine." Alfred crossed his arms and watched as Arthur cook. "What are you cooking? Is that better?"

"Yes. I've decided to make English muffins, hash browns and black pudding."

"Fancy." Arthur smiled. Alfred hoisted himself up to sit on the counter.

"I do appreciate that you actually eat my cooking. Francis decided to go out and get breakfast for himself and your brother." Alfred rested his face on a fist.

"You told me it was all there was." Alfred laughed. While it wasn't the best food Alfred had had, he knew how sensitive Arthur was about it. He ate it to make him happy. He missed how it was when he was little and Arthur would dote on him.

"Oh yes, I suppose I did." Arthur smiled at him softly before giving a stern look. "Get off the counter. It's not polite." Alfred slid off and sighed. "Stand up straight. You need to work on your posture. Slouching simply isn't something a sophisticated gentleman does."

"I'm not British." Alfred muttered

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." Arthur gave him a side glance.

"Can you at least manage to make tea?" Alfred nodded and prepared the tea. He wouldn't ever admit it, but the way that Arthur criticized him really hurt. He wasn't raised to be proper. Arthur was standoffish once he was a few years old.

Matthew came in, rubbing his eyes. Alfred greeted him handing him a cup of tea. "Thanks, Freddy." He smiled and sipped it. Arthur looked at them and went back to cooking.

"Francis is getting your food." Arthur informed him, a bitter tone in his voice.

"Oh…okay." Arthur handed Alfred food to put on the table and the two set their side. Matthew set up plates for himself and Francis.

"I'm back!" Francis called happily as he walked into the kitchen. He threw and arm around Arthur's neck and kissed his cheek. "Did you miss me?"

"No." Arthur told him. Francis laughed.

"Okay." He set the food on the table and started unpacking it. Suddenly Arthur grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. Alfred and Matthew froze. Anxiety rose in both of them before being replaced with relief as Arthur kissed him. He pulled away and went back to working as though nothing had happened. Francis giggled, blushing and went back to putting the food on the table.

"That's a preview for what's to come." Arthur said slyly as he sat down. Francis winked at him. Alfred choked on his tea. Matthew covered his ears and gagged. "But…you have to eat some of this." Arthur handed him a plate of food. Francis looked at it then back at Arthur.

"Arthur, I love you, but…"

"No, no. No food, no d." Francis's face fell as he contemplated the proposal. "Nevermind." Arthur snapped and sat down huffily. Francis stared at him, tapping his fingers on his mouth.

"Okay." Francis said getting up and going to him. He took the fork out of Arthur's hand. "Matthew, Alfred, Papa loves you." Arthur rolled his eyes and swatted him. Francis took a bite and forced himself to swallow.

"Good job, amour." Arthur shoved him away.

"Don't."

"Aw, I was only playing."

"Shut it." Francis sat down with a smirk on his face. Alfred tensed. He could tell the fight was coming soon. "And just what is so wrong about my food?" Arthur demanded throwing his fork down.

"Nozing."

"I like your food, Mama." Alfred smiled and put more food on his plate.

"Stop eating like a bloody whale. It's disgusting."

"Hey, don't say zat to him. He is being nice."

"Why can't you be nice?"

"I told you zat you did a good job!"

"You were lying!"

"How do you know?"

"I saw your face!" As the argument built up, Alfred ate faster and faster. He was so tense. Matthew refused to look up.

"Get it in your head zat not everybody likes all food. Nobody, nobody likes your food!"

"And what give you the right to criticize it, Mr. Eat Snails." Alfred let out a chuckle at the "eats snails" bit. Arthur smacked him. "Stop it. You're being impolite and slow down with your eating. It's disgusting."

"Escargot is delicious. You've never even tried it!"

"You usually refuse to try my food!"

"Because it's bad, tasteless. You almost killed Feliciano with it, remember?"

"Feliciano almost dies if he eats anything that isn't pasta, Kiku's sushi or Ludwig's sausage." Francis let out a snicker. "Oh real, mature Francis. We're having a serious conversation and…" Francis lost it and couldn't stop laughing. Arthur crossed his arms, though he was fighting back a smile.

"Arthur, you're the best." Francis gasped through his laughter.

"Grow up." Arthur said still trying to feign maturity.

"Loosen up." Francis said, now only giggling.

Alfred excused himself from the table, anxiety building up in him. He'd eaten too much. Arthur was always commenting on his eating. He couldn't gain weight. He found the bathroom and cried as he unloaded his breakfast. He didn't even know how it got this far. He sat, leaning against the wall as tears fell down his cheeks. Only in secret would he allow himself to breakdown. He couldn't show how the arguing, fighting, comments and criticism affected him. He had to be strong for Matthew. He had to be happy to keep everyone from being sad. He had to help everyone. Nothing was worse than trying to help and people getting mad at you for it. He hugged his knees and took his glasses off. He wanted everything to stop. He wanted to be happy and have a good relationship with Arthur again. He just wanted Arthur to be proud.

"Alfred!" He heard Francis called. He quickly wiped his eyes, threw water on his face and placed his glasses back on. He checked the mirror to make sure he didn't look like he'd been crying. He put a smile on and went to see what Francis needed. He found him putting the food up. Matthew was hugging his bear. Arthur was nowhere to be seen.

"What's up?"

"What is this?" He whispered pointing something Arthur had made.

"Black pudding."

"But what is it?"

"I dunno." Alfred leaned against the wall.

"Are you okay?" Francis asked him.

"Yeeaaah." Alfred dragged out, giving him a thumbs up.

"If you need to talk to me…"

"I know, Papa." Francis hugged him.

"Arthur does love you. He just wants what's best for you."

"Whoa, why are we talking about this, man?"

"I just sought you might be upset by ze way he was talking to you."

"Nah, I'm fine. I don't care how the limey talks to me." He laughed. Francis gave him a small smile.

"If you're sure."

"I am. Come on, Matthew. Let's go play some video games."

The two got into an intense battle of Call of Duty. Alfred was feeling great. Nothing was bothering him now. He was taking names and kicking bad guy butt. He glanced over at Matthew. He noticed his hoodie's sleeve had fallen down a bit. He saw a few small scratches.

"Uh, Mattie?" He asked putting his controller down.

"Uh huh?"

"What happened to your wrist?" Matthew pulled his sleeve down quickly and let out a nervous laugh.

"I touched on of Heracle's cats without permission. The little guy attacked."

"Aw, that sucks, bro." Alfred didn't believe him, but he didn't want to push too much. Besides he had his way of coping and his brother had his. It may not be a good thing, but for now there wasn't much he could do. It was just another thing to add to the list of things he needed to pay attention to. Yet another thing he needed to fix, but he had no idea how to fix it. Right now, right now he needed food…lots of food.

Francis went to his and Arthur's room. "You treat Alfred very harshly. I don't sink it's good for him." Francis told Arthur.

"Because you're the expert right? Have you seen Matthew? He doesn't have much going on."

"Zat is just rude! Matthew is a very sweet boy. He is lovely."

"At least I don't have to worry about Alfred getting pushed around."

"You push him around enough. If anyone else did it, it'd be too much for the boy. You really need to brush up on parenting. Matthew and Alfred are both of our sons. If you don't start treating them nicer, you won't have sons much longer." Francis said trying to help.

"You're so vile!" Arthur yelled pushing Francis.

"Oh yeah? At least I'm actually interesting and cultured."

"What are you saying?"

"I sink you know what I'm saying."

"I hate you, you know that?"

"Oh not as much as I hate you!" Arthur felt as though he'd been stabbed in the chest. He shoved Francis against the wall. A picture frame fell and shattered. Francis shoved Arthur back. "Get off of me!" The shoving was getting more and more violent between the two. Arthur couldn't think straight. He just wanted to get even. How dare he break his heart like that! He knew it. Francis could never love him, at least not the way he loved him.

"Get…out." Arthur said coldly.

"Arthur, I…"

"GET OUT!"

"I didn't mean it. I don't hate you. I'm sorry. I shouldn't 'ave said zat. Forgive me." Arthur threw him backward. Francis lost his balance and landed on the bed. "Don't say a word." Arthur glared as he pulled off his shirt. Francis laughed. He loved angry sex. It was somehow more gratifying than happy sex. They always felt so much better afterward. He began to shake as he waited for Arthur to ravage him, a smile on his face as Arthur took control like usual, holding his arms above his head. He knew it was going to be a good time. Frustrations would be taken out and they would be left to cuddle which he liked almost as much as sex. It meant peace was soon to come, if only for a few hours.

* * *

I apologize if this seems rushed. I was trying to take my time, but my mind was racing while I was writing.


	5. Chapter 5

Matthew sat on his bed, tears streaming down his face, holding his bear tightly. Why wasn't Alfred home? He needed him here. Francis and Arthur were at each other's throats again. He couldn't take the screaming without Alfred there to talk to him. He jumped as he heard glass shattering. Where had Alfred gone? He didn't know. He heard the sound of something solid slamming against the wall and knew it was one of them throwing the other against a wall, most like it was Arthur. He closed his eyes and tried to calm down. When was Freddy going to be home? He couldn't take it anymore. He felt like he was going to have a meltdown if he didn't do something.

Carefully, he put the polar bear down and climbed of the bed. He went to the bathroom that connected his room with his brother's. He locked both bedroom doors and opened the medicine cabinet. He reached for a bottle of alcohol and found the familiar blade underneath. He sat down on the bathroom floor and pushed up his sleeve. The cold metal sliced easily through the skin. Beads of velvety red blood emerged on the surface. He repeated the motion several times until he felt okay. He leaned back as the anxiety drained out of him.

He could hear the sounds of Arthur throwing Francis out. He knew the routine well enough now. He could see it in his mind. Arthur was probably throwing anything of Francis's could find at him as he shoved him toward the door. Francis was either begging him to reconsider through hysterical tears or leaving without a fight and silent tears falling down his face. That always depended on what the fight was about and what kind of mood he was in. He used to run after him when he was little, but he never took him with him. Why did he never take him away from it all?

When Alfred and Matthew were first taken in by Arthur and Francis, they had made the agreement that Arthur was primarily responsible for Alfred and Francis for Matthew. They thought that would be the best way to give the boys the most attention. Matthew knew that Arthur didn't care for him much, if at all. He could tell by the way he looked at him and barely spoke to him. He preferred Alfred, but even then he wasn't even sure if Arthur liked his brother too. It felt like he blamed them for the reason things were hard with Francis. He knew Francis loved him and he knew he loved Alfred too, but he couldn't understand why Francis never took them with him. Of course he was never gone for more than a few days. Arthur would always have a breakdown and call him to come home. Just once though, it'd be nice if he at least said goodbye. He knew that wasn't possible. When Arthur got angry, there wasn't much you could do to stop him. He was a powerful man.

Matthew jumped as the door slammed and the house went silent before he heard more things being thrown around. He cried into his arms. Francis was gone. That meant that Arthur was going to be mad and he was going to take most of it. Alfred always jumped in though. Matthew loved his brother for the battle scars he'd accumulated over the years defending him. He got up and washed away the dried blood. He hid the razor and cleaned up any remnants. He couldn't let Alfred find out. It'd hurt him to know what he was doing. Alfred was so kind hearted that he wanted to help everyone. He took every burden upon himself. The executions were not always the right option, but his heart was in the right place.

He unlocked the doors and went into his brother's room hoping Alfred would be home, lying on his bed throwing a baseball toward the ceiling and catching it. The room was empty. Where was he? Matthew sighed and sat on Alfred's bed. He looked around at the posters on the walls and smiled. Alfred had such great taste. His room was so cool. He jumped as he heard another door slam. He left Alfred's room and heard sobs coming from his parents' room. He wanted to go hug Arthur and tell him it would all be okay, but he knew that Arthur would not appreciate it, not from him.

The front door opened and Matthew made his way slowly down the stairs stopping halfway and sitting down to wait. He saw Alfred stroll in, hands in his jacket pocket and his hair was disheveled. His jeans fit messily at the top of his boots. He looked like he'd just rolled out of bed before leaving.

"Freddy…" Matthew said. Alfred jumped, startled and smiled at him.

"Hey, Mattie."

"Where were you?" He asked softly hugging his knees.

"I…um…" He rubbed the back of his head. "I went for a walk."

"Oh." Matthew looked at his shoes."Take me next time."

"Sure thing, brosef." He smiled and started for the kitchen.

"Mama threw Papa out."

"Again? He just came back."

"I know." Matthew sniffled. Alfred came and sat next to him.

"I'm sorry, Mattie. I should have taken you with me." Matthew gave him a smile.

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"Good. I'm glad you're okay. Look, Mattie, one day we won't have to deal with this anymore. We'll be old enough to be on our own. You can be my neighbor though. We can go far away, so far we won't ever hear them fight again. And we can see them whenever we want to, but won't be forced to listen to it."

"I would rather they just stopped fighting."

"Me too. I think they wish the same thing. Nobody wants to fight with another person, especially someone they love."

"Then why do they fight?" Alfred thought about it for a second.

"You know how when we were little, we would usually be with one of them more than the other? Well I learned that Arthur isn't good with words. He can't make things sound fancy and beautiful like Francis can and that makes him angry because he doesn't get why Francis gets to be the more poised one."

"That's stupid."

"Yeah, but maybe when we're older and find someone, we may understand."

"I don't like it. I wouldn't stay in that kind of environment."

"Yeah. You know what I'd do? I'd kick ass and take names. You mess with me or my brother and you're toast."

"Alfred, that's really harsh."

"Nah, it's karma. You shake a cage, you get bit." Alfred stood up. "Now let's go have some lunch. I'm starving." Matthew followed his brother to the kitchen where Alfred started pulling things out of the refrigerator.

"What do you think you're doing?" A puffy, red rim eyed Arthur was standing in the entry way.

"What's up, British dude?" Alfred smiled.

"I said what are you doing?"

"Uh, making food. Is that a crime or something?"

"I say when and what you can't eat. You're going to be so disgusting if you don't stop your nonsense."

"So I hear what you're saying and I respect your opinion, buuuut no." Alfred smiled. "Anyway, are you okay? You look like crap." Arthur narrowed his eyes before tears fell down his face again. Alfred went over and hugged him. "Hey, you're okay. You're from the United bloody Kingdom, remember?"

"Thanks Alfred." He offered him a smiled.

"When is Papa coming back?" Matthew asked softly. Arthur narrowed his eyes at him. Matthew shrank back.

"Don't you dare mention that! Not now! Not ever!" Arthur pushed Alfred aside and walked toward Matthew. Alfred grabbed his arm and he yanked it away. "You're the reason we were fighting in the first place! You're always in my way." Arthur bumped him hard as he walked past him. Alfred glanced between the two of them. He didn't know what to do. Matthew didn't deserve that, but Arthur was hurting. Alfred knew he couldn't control himself sometimes and he was terrified to lose Francis.

"Mattie, it'll be okay. He'll be back soon. Just try not to hurt Mama's feelings, okay?" Alfred hugged him. "You're not the reason they were fighting. They may have been fighting about you, but you didn't cause it. It's not your fault. They are grown men who can decide when they fight." Matthew wiped a tear away and hugged Alfred.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem. I'm gonna go try to calm him down okay?" He picked up the sandwich he made and walked to the living room where Arthur was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"Soooo…you need anything?"

"Make him come back. Can you make him come back?" Arthur asked.

"You should probably be the one to do that." Alfred said sitting on the arm of the couch.

"I can't. I…" Arthur blinked back the tears. "I always mess it up. I always call him begging him…I can't, Alfred."

"If I were him, I'd be happy to hear you calling." Arthur sighed with a smile.

"I say, I did better with you than I thought."

"Nope, it's because I'm awesome. Totally has nothing to do with you. Now get up old fart and put on your big boy panties." Alfred knocked Arthur's legs off the couch and ran to the kitchen laughing as Arthur yelled at him.

"You're such a wanker."

"Haha, wanker. That is such a dumb word." Alfred called. Matthew was sitting at the table looking at him.

"Why do you do that?" He asked.

"Because it's fun. I learned it from Papa." Matthew rolled his eyes.

"It's rude."

"I'm just trying to get him to stop moping." Matthew sighed and stood up. He pushed his bear into Alfred's arms before walking over to kneel next to Arthur on the couch. Alfred hugged the bear, feeling comfort and security he'd never felt before. It made sense why Mattie was always carrying it around. He watched in amazement as Arthur pushed his son away from him. Matthew grabbed him in a hug. Arthur paused for a moment before hugging him back. He kissed the top of Matthew's head.

Alfred felt his amazement and happiness fade to jealousy. What the hell? How was he going to get Arthur's affection after Alfred had worked so hard? He felt his eyes narrow. Matthew couldn't be both Francis and Arthur's favorite. He pushed away the feelings and thoughts. He loved his brother and was happy that for once Arthur wasn't treating him like a dog.

* * *

Francis was curled up on Antonio's couch staring at nothing in particular hugging a pillow as tears poured out of his eyes. Antonio was sitting uncomfortably in an arm chair. He hated seeing his friend like this. Lovino was standing in the kitchen eating a tomato, watching them with narrow eyes. He refused to come into the room or to leave the kitchen. Antonio wished Gilbert would get there soon. He was used to Francis coming over when Arthur kicked him out, but he'd never seen him like this. He seemed so fragile. Lovino had noticed it too. He could tell because he was about to insult him, but with one look he stopped and went to the kitchen.

Francis hugged the pillow tighter any time someone would say anything. He just wanted Arthur to call him back. He knew he was scared. Arthur didn't have to say what he was thinking around him. He just knew. Arthur had never been poetic, so he often wasn't able to express himself. Even though he understood why Arthur behaved the way he did, he didn't excuse it. He was a very sensitive man. Anything Arthur threw at him, he had to throw right back. He didn't know if it was pride or a defense mechanism, but he knew it wasn't good. He turned to face the cushions.

"¡Dios mio! What happened to your back?" Antonio's eyes were wide when Francis looked back at him.

"Huh?"

"You're back is all bruised."

"Oh…nothing." He muttered and pulled his shirt down.

"Is…is it that bad?"

"No. No, we are rough with our love, you know?" Francis winked at him.

"That doesn't sound like you."

"Let me tell you, angry sex is the best sex you'll ever have. I'm surprised with that one there isn't any." He gestured to Lovino who flipped him off.

"We…uh…it's more gentle."

"You bastard! Shut up! That's not his business at all!" Lovino snapped, his face red from blushing.

"I'm sorry." Antonio said. He looked back to Francis. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Oui." Francis smiled at him. "Arthur kind of throws me around in the passion of the moment." His smile was bigger and Antonio could tell it was real.

"Okay, what is bothering you? I've come baring my awesome advice!" Gilbert exclaimed coming into the room.

"How'd you get in here?" Lovino snapped. Gilbert turned around.

"Um, the door?" He shook his head and picked up Francis's legs before sitting down and letting them rest on him. "Now tell me, what number is this again? What did you do?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Francis buried his face in the cushion.

"Francis, you are going to speak to me. I'm too awesome to ignore."

"Look, he's not a bad guy."

"I don't like how you act." Gilbert narrowed his eyes.

"Big brother!" Feliciano ran into the kitchen and hugged Lovino.

"Get offa me!" He pushed him away. Ludwig suddenly appeared. "You brought the potato bastard with you?" Lovino glared. "You need to get over your stupid drama. Antonio, get rid of the two potato lovers and the French asshole. Feli can stay. Nobody else." Antonio shot Lovino a warning look. Feliciano looked over.

"Aw, what's wrong with Francis?"

"Arthur kicked him out…again." Lovino rolled his eyes and pulled his little brother behind him upstairs. "I want them gone!" Lovino yelled going up. Ludwig sat down awkwardly.

"I don't want him here." Francis said looking at Ludwig.

"Ja. Okay. I'll…uh…go outside." Ludwig stammered awkwardly.

"Zis is so humiliating! I feel like zee whole world knows my business and has seen me cry!" Francis covered his face.

"Now come on, Francis. Everyone cries."

"You cry in front of people a lot." Gilbert pointed out. Antonio smacked him. "What did I do?" Antonio glared.

Francis sighed. He just wanted to lie on his friend's couch and be depressed. He didn't want the world over. He didn't want to talk. He just wanted Arthur to call for him to come back, but he had to give him his space. There were too many people here. He just wanted to kiss Arthur again and tell him he was sorry. He wanted to hold him in his arms. He wanted Arthur to be happy again like he used to be. He wanted him to be happy with him. He heard Gilbert and Antonio bickering over how to handle the situation. He didn't pay attention to them. They didn't know Arthur. They didn't know how sweet he could be. They also didn't know how nasty he could get. Despite all the yelling and all the shoving and throwing, Arthur was just scared. He was the kindest person Francis knew and nobody could see that. They just saw him here, on Antonio's couch, crying because he hated the fact that he'd hurt the feelings of the most important person in the world. They didn't understand how he felt every time they'd cross the line and a single sentence or word of his cut Arthur so deep he started crying. That broke Francis's heart every time. He didn't deserve him and he knew it. And what hurt the most is that he was pretty sure Arthur knew it too. He needed to get over whatever caused him to fight back.

"Francis?" He turned around and saw Felicianokneeling beside him. Lovino was looking annoyed as Antonio held him to his side.

"Huh?"

"If Arthur is upset with you, you could try writing him a letter."

"Italy…"

"You taught me how to treat people in relationships and it always works. I think maybe you forgot that." He had a big smiled on his face. "And if he's angry with you, just hug him. That's what I do when Lovino gets mad."

"Stupid hug therapy." Lovino grumbled.

"Italy, mon dieu. I think you may be right." Francis sat up and wiped away his tears. "Merci, mon ami!" He hugged Italy.

"How was Feliciano able get him out of that when we couldn't? He's not awesome." Gilbert pouted.

"You are very awesome, mon ami!" He pecked Gilbert's cheek.

"Ja, I know. I am awesome me!"

"Antonio, do you have some wine?"

"Ooh! Wine sounds so yummy!" Feliciano smiled. "Can I have some too?"

"We can all have wine." Antonio laughed.

"Wine? Wine isn't awesome." Gilbert got up and walked out of the room and outside. Francis sighed and leaned back. He still was thinking about Arthur. What if he didn't have the chance to use the hug therapy Feliciano was talking about? He shuddered and pushed the thought out of his mind. Arthur would call. He would. He knew he would.

* * *

The group of friends were drinking wine and laughing, talking about anything and everything in their head. Lovino had fallen asleep on Antonio, so he wasn't making comments under his breath anymore. Despite the cheerful demeanor, Francis still was upset. He wanted to be the first to say he was sorry. He decided he was going to go home and beg for Arthur to forgive him when he finished with his friends, giving Arthur time to cool off. A knock at the door startled everyone. Antonio tried to get up, but Lovino groaned and pulled him down in his sleep.

"I'll get it." Francis offered with a smile. He got up and opened the door as he took another sip of wine. He choked on it when he saw Arthur standing there. Arthur was dressed up and had a bouquet of flowers. He handed them to Francis.

"I was hoping you'd be here. I didn't want to go to Gilbert's house." Francis took them in his arm. Arthur took the glass from his hand and drained the last drop before he kissed him. The taste of wine in his kiss was captivating to Francis. He'd never had this happen before.

"Where else would I be?" Francis almost whispered.

"Who is it?" Antonio called.

"It's Arthur." He called back.

"Please, can we talk?" Francis stepped aside as Arthur came in. Francis led him upstairs to the guest room. He still hugged the flowers to him, sniffing them with eyes closed. "Please, sit." Arthur said uncomfortably. Francis didn't understand why after all these years of being married, Arthur was still a stuttering mess around him. It was cute though. He was cute.

"Look, Francis, I…I don't think this is working." Francis felt his heart sink. So this was it. This was the end. He could feel his soul start to cave in on him. "I can't keep throwing you out every time I get my feelings hurt. I…" He looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not good with this okay. I just…don't say anything until I finish." Francis nodded. "I love you…a lot, too much maybe. The problem is I don't know how to deal with that. I need you to help me. I need you to work with me. I know we're going to fight. Everyone fights. Let's face it our whole history is a mixture of fighting and friendship, but you know what? I know we can change how we react to the fighting. So no more leaving, okay? The next time either of us leaves and I swear to god I hope it doesn't, it needs to be for good. We have to be sure if it gets to that point that that it's what we want. We can't keep doing this game." He dropped to his knees and rested his head in Francis' lap. "So what do you say? Do you forgive me? Will you come back?

"Yes." Francis whispered, leaning down to kiss him. "I will always forgive you. I will always love you."

"We have to remember that the next time we get angry."

"I know."

"Okay." Arthur played with Francis's hair. "Let's go home." Francis nodded and allowed Arthur to lead him out and down the stairs.

"Gentleman, I would like to thank you for attending to my husband. Now if you'll excuse us, we have made up and need to get going."

"Ciao!" Feliciano waved. Antonio looked skeptical, but gave his best as the two left.

"So I was wrong." Arthur said when they got in the car. "Matthew is very much your son. He knew exactly what to say to me to get me to realize I needed to come get you. You did well."

"We did well." Francis smiled, love and adoration feeling his body. He kissed Arthur and Arthur pushed him against the seat before kissing him deeply.

* * *

_Well there's the update. I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter is probably going to have a different rating._


	6. Chapter 6

**_WARNING: The rating for the first half of the chapter is mature._**

* * *

"I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of zis!" Francis glared.

"I don't like the way you talk to him." Arthur responded folding the laundry in an angry manner.

"Antonio has been one of my best friends for years, even way before we were together. He's still one of my best friends, he and Gilbert."

"You flirt with him all the time…and Gilbert."

"I do not!" Francis insisted.

"You do so! It's disgusting. And you do it in front of me! That is so disrespectful! It's like you don't even care."

"Mon cher, I don't know what you're talking about. I swear to god I am not flirting with zem! Antonio is wis Lovnio and Gilbert is…Gilbert. He gets a lot of ladies."

"That doesn't mean anything. You can still flirt with them. It isn't right though."

"I don't talk to him like zat." Arthur looked at him and imitated Francis throwing his hair back and laughing.

"'Oh, Antonio, you are so funny!' 'Gilbert, you're the best.'" Arthur imitated Francis' accent. "Sound familiar?" He glared.

"Maybe…I'll admit it could come off zat way."

"I knew it." Arthur snapped.

"BUT that's not how I mean it." He took Arthur by the hips and pulled I'm to him. "I swear. I only have eyes for you."

"You better not be lying to me." He glared.

"I'm not. If I am, you can kick me in zee balls." Arthur smiled.

"Not would be fun." Francis laughed. Arthur played with Francis' hair. "I'm still mad, you know."

"Of course, you are. I would be surprised if you weren't. I'd sink you were sick."

"Yeah." Arthur kissed him and then pushed him away.

"Zis is good. I sink it's good zat we are making our arguments more civil and private." Francis laid on the bed and watched as Arthur finished the laundry.

"Are you going to help?"

"No. I like to watch you." He smiled. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"No wonder Alfred calls me mama." He muttered.

"No, he calls you zat because his little daycare friends told him he had to have a mommy and zey told him zat zee mommy was the one who cuddled with him zee most. So zat was you. Zen Mattie followed along."

"So basically it's your fault."

"Um…no. I cuddled wis him too. You just never wanted to share."

"He was my baby." Arthur said with a faint smile.

"Oui."

"Do you think it's too late to get them to call me something else? I'm not a lady."

"Oh hush, you. They are sixteen. Of course it's too late. Besides moms are zee best. Zey are super heros. Take it as a compliment."

"I'm not a woman though."

"So? If his sree year old self decided that you were his mom, zen you're his mom." Arthur tightened his grip on the garment he was folding.

"I am not a woman and I'm not the bitch in this relationship."

"Zat is a rude word to use to refer to a lady."

"Ugh, that's not what I meant!"

"I know, mon cher."

"You're the bitch."

"I know." Francis giggled.  
"Why can't Daddies be the one who cuddles the most? Why is it the mom?"

"Because mozers have zee best love in zee world. Oui, fazers can have zat love too, which we do, but it's not as often as moms."

"I don't like that explanation. I am sick of people thinking I'm the bitch. Gilbert said that the other day, you know."

"Can you stop using zat word?" Francis requested feeling a bit offended and annoyed.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch."

"And here I sought you were an English gentleman."

"I'm a bloody pirate today." Francis laughed.

"Zat really bothers you, huh" He asked after a moment. Arthur hesitated.

"Yes, I suppose it does."

"I can clear things up, if you want me too."

"You should have done it today."

"I don't kiss and tell." Arthur threw a shirt at Francis.

"That's rubbish. You always tell! Too much! Now you're going to help me." Francis sighed and got up. He started folding. "Not like that! What are you doing? Like this." Arthur showed him how do to fold them.

"Like zis?" Francis said purposely doing it wrong.

"No! Like this!" He showed him again. Francis again purposely did it wrong and giggled. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Francis giggled again and threw a shirt at him. Arthur's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you just riled up enough for fun." He winked.

"What? What are you talking about? You think fighting is fun?"

"No, fuuun." Francis kissed him deeply.

"…Oh…fun. Right, fun." Arthur blushed and looked back up at him. "Well I am pretty flustered."

"You look like trash in zose clothes." Francis mumbled kissing Arthur's neck.

"Really? Well, let me take them off then." He stripped his shirt off and started to unbutton his partner's shirt. He pushed it off to the floor.

"You fold clothes soooo badly." Francis said softly.

"I do not!" He said defensively, forgetting momentarily what was going on. He laughed to himself. "Yes, of course."

"And I think you're annoying."

"Shut it." He said a little hurt.

"Gilbert sinks you're the bottom." That was what it took for Arthur to get riled up. He forcefully shoved Francis against the wall, pressing him hard into it. He kissed him deeply and slid his hand down Francis' pants. He let out a moan as he began to massage him.

"Shut it." Arthur growled. Francis bit his lip to suppress another sound from escaping. A small sound escaped his lips and Arthur slapped him gently. "I said shut it." Francis smiled. He grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him on the bed. Arthur stripped the rest of the way and Francis did the same. "Did I say you could move?" Arthur asked.

"No." Francis giggled.

"Don't speak." Arthur crawled on top of him and kissed him passionately. He pulled Francis on top of him as he rolled over with him. "You know what to do. It isn't going to suck itself." Francis smiled as he trailed down Arthur's chest with kisses before reaching the target. He started slowly, then all at once smiling to himself as Arthur gasped and moaned. Finally Arthur came. Francis swallowed and sat up. Arthur kissed him. "Good job." He whispered before throwing him on the bed roughly.

As they locked lips, Arthur made his way in between Francis' legs before finding the entrance. He played around to frustrate his lover. Only when there were tears of anticipation in Francis' eyes, did he press himself in all at once causing the man to gasp. "I said shut it. Be silent." Francis nodded, biting his lip to keep back the pleasure. Arthur began to move back and forth, very slowly. He watched Francis's face until he was sure he couldn't take it. He stopped and kissed him. A soft groan escaped Francis's lips. "You must be quiet." Arthur said roughly and slapped him again with slightly more force. Now was time for the real fun. He began thrust in and out hard and fast causing the Frenchman to writhe under him. He stopped and went back to his extremely slow pace, laughing as tears of pleasure escaped the man's eyes. He loved to tease him.

Francis pulled Arthur's face down to his and kissed him. "Stop it. I'm in charge." He asserted before kissing him again. "Do you have anything to say? You may only say one word."

"Please?" Francis begged. Arthur smiled sinisterly.

"As you wish." He made sure to be as rough as possible as he knew it was their favorite way. Francis came and Arthur kept going until he came a few minutes later. He pulled himself out quickly eliciting a gasp from Francis. He smiled. Francis cuddled into his chest.

"Je t'aime." He whispered.

"I love you too." Arthur smiled back, playing with the unbelievably soft blonde curls. Francis couldn't open his eyes. Arthur smiled with satisfaction. He loved being in control in the bedroom. It was really the only place he had absolute control. He felt confident here. He knew exactly what to do and he did it with ease. Having Francis exhausted afterward let him know he had done well.

"Can we do it again?" Francis mumbled.

"You're practically falling asleep." Arthur laughed.

"I…I don't care."

"I'll be loving and gentle this time, so you won't be so tired you fall asleep before we're done." A smile spread on his lips. He nodded, still not opening his eyes.

"Okay." Arthur smiled as he prepared himself for round two.

Matthew was awoken to odd sounds coming from the bathroom. He rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses. The vent was on and he could hear something inside, but he couldn't make out the noise. He heard the flush of the toilet, then a different noise. I lifted his hand to knock, but instead tried to open the door. He was relieved it was open. He found his younger brother hugging his knees, face buried in his arms sobbing. "Freddy, are you okay?" He asked dropping to his knees and hugging his brother. Alfred looked up at him, wiping the tears away and smiled.

"Yeah. I'm super great." Matthew hugged him tightly. "Dude, I said I was okay." Matthew pulled back, still not letting go.

"No, you're not."

"I am."

"No. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Alfred, stop it. Talk to me." Alfred stared at him.

"I…said…I'm…fine." He pushed his brother away from him forcefully. He couldn't believe he'd left the door unlocked. Mattie couldn't see him like this. He had to be strong. He had to be in control. He…he…he had…The anxiety was almost through the roof. He needed to get away.

"Dammit, Alfred, tell me the truth!" Matthew said forcefully grabbing Alfred's shoulders and giving him a firm shake. "They haven't been fighting this whole week. Things have been great." He said softly. He wanted to know what was bothering his brother so much. It scared him a little to see him in this state. He was used to his brother smiling and happy. He had known it was faked most of the time, but he always thought it was because of the fighting. Their parents were doing great. If they were fighting, they were doing it away from the boys. Matthew hadn't felt the terrible anxiety that drove him to cut since Francis had come home. He needed to help his brother. He was shocked as Alfred grabbed him and sobbed into his chest.

"I'm sorry, Mattie." He gasped between shuddering breaths. Matthew held Alfred as he sobbed.

"What are you apologizing for?" He rocked him slightly.

"For not being strong enough." He wiped his face with his sleeve. "I…I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time." Matthew noticed that his brother was gasping and coughing and wouldn't stop crying. His eyes were filled with fear. "Freddy, Freddy, you need to calm down." He said frantically.

"I…I can't." Now he was gasping desperately for air.

Alfred felt like his chest was on fire. His throat felt like it was closing up. Anxiety was at its peak. He couldn't take it. He wasn't okay and he knew it. He couldn't control himself. And now his brother had seen him at his weakest causing even more anxiety as the guilt and shame of not being able to be the strong one crashed upon him.

"I…I'll be right back." Matthew said running out of the bathroom. He came back with Arthur and Francis. Arthur pushed Matthew aside as he ran into the bathroom and took Alfred in his arms without so much as a word. Francis was watching the scene horrified. He'd never seen his son like this. He couldn't move.

"M-Matthieu, come here." He said as he gathered his nerves. He motioned for the shaking Matthew to come to him. He held him close in his arms. Matthew knew that his father was scared by the way he'd said his name with the French pronunciation. He often slipped back into French when he was upset because his mind wasn't able to process and translate what he was trying to say. "It will be okay." He whispered, pulling Matthew's face into his chest to guard him from what was happening before them.

"Francis, Francis, call an ambulance. He isn't breathing properly!" Arthur called from the bathroom. He nodded and walked out with Matthew.

"Papa, what's going on?" Matthew asked shaking as he sat on the edge of his parents' bed.

"I don't know, but don't worry. We have it under control." He offered him a smile. He realized it wasn't a good idea of Matthew to be sitting on the bed and motioned for him to come back to him. He held his son to him as he made the call. "I will be right back. Sit here." He pulled a chair out for Matthew and went back to the bathroom where Arthur was still trying to get Alfred to calm down. The Englishman's face was serious, yet calm. "Zey are coming." He said. Arthur nodded. Francis walked in and hugged them both. He let out a shuddering breath followed by a sob. Arthur grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

"Stop it. Pull yourself together. You can't let your guard down. You have to stay calm for Alfred and Matthew." Francis nodded. "Now go take care of Matt."

Francis found Matthew exactly where he'd left him. He looked defeated and scared. He was hugging himself, still shaking. There were no tears on his face. That scared him. "How…how is he?"

"Bien." He lied with a smile.

"Is…he going to be okay?"

"Oui, bien entendu." He gave him a smile and hugged him. Matthew felt panic rising in him. He was only responding in French even though Matthew was talking to him in English. He never did that unless there was something wrong. He needed to test this.

"How are things with Mr. Antonio and Mr. Gilbert?"

"Ils sont grands. Nous allons voir l'autre bientôt. " His stomach sunk. He just hugged him tightly. He was so happy that Francis had taught him French when he was young or this would be even more frightening. He couldn't imagine if it was him needing help and Francis was doing this with Alfred who barely understood any French despite Francis raising him due to spending so much time with Arthur.

The ambulance arrived shortly. Francis showed them the way to the bathroom. The paramedics gave Alfred oxygen and ended up sedating him. Arthur went with them in the ambulance. Francis drove himself and Matthew behind them.

"Tout va bien se passer." Francis smiled at Matthew. They sat in the waiting room for what felt like an eternity. Francis was hugged his son and whispering things to help him feel better. Arthur came out, hugging himself finally.

"Comment est-il?" Francis asked. Arthur glanced at Matthew confused and not comprehending what he was being asked.

"He's been speaking French since after he called for the ambulance." He explained. "He wants to know how Alfred is."

"Mon amour…" Arthur took his face in his hands, using the familiar phrase he'd heard often for so long. "He's okay. He had a panic attack. It was really severe. They gave him some anxiety meds and they just want to watch him overnight because his breathing wasn't great. Please calm down so I can talk to you. They do want him to talk to a psychiatrist tomorrow morning because this is the first time this has happened and they need to evaluate." He wished so badly he'd learned French. He was married a Frenchman after all. He should know. It would help in these situations and the situations when they had very heated arguments. That way at least he'd know what he was saying.

Francis collapsed into hysterical relieved sobbing in Arthur's arms. "It's okay." Arthur whispered. "He's going to be okay."

* * *

_Here are the translations. I got them off of Google translator, so if it's not exactly right please forgive me and correct me. _

_Je t'aime: I love you._

_Bien: okay_

_Oui, bien entendu: Yes, of course_

_Ils sont grands. Nous allons voir l'autre bient__ô__t: They are great. We'll see each other soon._

_Tout va bien se passer: Everything will be alright._

_Commet est-il: How is he?_


	7. Chapter 7

Alfred refused to see his parents. He laid in the hospital bed staring at the window. He didn't want to speak to them. They must be so disappointed, especially Mama. He didn't know if Francis would be disappointed, but he knew Arthur would be. He could hear Arthur telling him that proper people don't act the way he had. Sure, Arthur hugged him the whole time during, but he didn't care. He had realized that and just never wanted to admit it. He felt his heart growing cold toward Arthur as he laid there. He told the nurse that the only person allowed in his room was Matthew. He honestly didn't even want to see him, but he was his big brother after all.

"Freddy?" Matthew asked softly. Alfred didn't roll over. He couldn't. He didn't have energy. He came in and sat on the chair next to the bed. "Freddy, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." Alfred mumbled. He couldn't even give him a smile that He knew would cheer his brother up. "I'm just tired from the medicine." Mattie played with his sleeves.

"What were you doing?"

"Huh?"

"What were you doing in the bathroom before I came in? Before you flushed the toilet?" He had tears in his eyes.

"Nothing."

"It's weird because it almost sounded like you were puking." He met Alfred's eyes slowly and carefully.

"I just got sick is all."

"Are you okay, really?"

"Yes." Alfred jerked his eyes away from Matthew.

"You weren't sick, were you, Freddy." He stared at the younger twin hard. "You did it on purpose. You've been doing it on purpose for a while, haven't you?" Alfred felt the tears spill down his face. "I put everything together. I mean how you eat and still stay so thin. Please just tell me the truth."

"I'm sorry, Mattie." Alfred's body began to shake with sobs. Matthew moved to the bed and hugged him. "I hate that you found out. I hate that they found me like that." This hadn't been his first panic attack and he knew it wouldn't be his last. He was so mad that they had found him. If they had just let him be, he would have gotten over it. This time was worse, yes, but it's still not their place.

Alfred looked at his twin through teary eyes before taking his hand. As long as Mattie knew his secret, he might as well know Mattie's he thought to himself. He pushed back Matthew's sleeve. Matthew grabbed his hand to stop him. Alfred gave him a look and pushed it away before pushing the sleeve back. As he had suspected that night they had played video games, his brother's arm was covered in cuts. Some were new, some were old. Some looked infected and others looked okay. He checked the other arm as well. Matthew wouldn't look at Alfred.

"Mattie, what is this?"

"I…I need to let the stress go." He shrugged and sniffled.

"Stop hurting yourself." Alfred said. "You don't deserve it. They like you better anyway." Matthew gave me an odd look.

"I did stop. I stopped the last time Papa came home. I control when this happens, okay? What you're doing, you lost control over that. What you're doing will kill you."

"No, it won't. I promise." Alfred wiped the tears off Matthew's cheeks and took him by the shoulders. "You're my brother and I promise you that this isn't going to kill me. You have to promise me that you'll stop though. It tears me up to know that you're doing this to yourself."

Matthew stared at his brother in disbelief. How could Alfred seriously tell him to stop and wasn't going to stop himself? Matthew had stopped. He needed his brother to stop as well. "Why are you doing this, Freddy?"

"I don't know. It started when a few years ago when we were thirteen. Mama was saying I was going to get fat and that I'd be disgusting. I had just started binge eating for stress relief a few months prior and I'd gained weight. I couldn't…" Alfred shook his head. He couldn't talk about this. He wouldn't. He couldn't be weak. He had to be strong. He noticed his brother get tense.

"Freddy…don't tell the doctor that. Don't tell the doctor or anyone that it's because of them."

"It's not because of them, Matthew. It's because of Mama. He starts everything! He can't just let our family be happy! He is so horrible!" Matthew stared in shock. "I hate him." Alfred glared at the bed. Had he heard correctly? Did Alfred really say he hated Mama? Matthew couldn't believe it.

He thought back to when they were little. Alfred would follow Arthur around like a lost puppy. He always wanted to be with him. Arthur would always laugh and pick him up or cuddle with him. He'd cuddle with him. Then recently, though the relationship had become slightly strained. They still joked around with each other. Alfred still went to their mama when he needed to talk. Alfred was the apple of Arthur's eye and Arthur had always been the hero of his brother. Matthew wondered what had happened in the past twenty-four hours that caused this outburst against Arthur.

"Freddy, you don't mean it."

"I mean it. I hate him. It's his fault. It's always been his fault and it always will be. He's the reason you're doing this too. You're stressed because of the fighting. Who starts the fights? Never Papa, no always Mama. He attacks Papa for the smallest things."

"They just stopped fighting. Papa will leave Mama if he finds out that you feel this way. He cares about Mama, he be cares about us more. Look, I understand that you're upset, but you're being unreasonable."

"I am not being unreasonable. I won't say anything, but I think you should leave." Alfred flopped against the bed and threw the blanket over his head.

* * *

Alfred got discharged that day and was prescribed with an as needed antianxiety medication. He threw it in his sock drawer when he got home. He didn't need that shit. What he needed was to get away from Arthur. He would never be able to go. He was too young. He needed a way to leave. He couldn't take this anymore. He was tired of being hurt by him. He was tired for trying to make him happy. Now Matthew was hurting himself. It was literally all Arthur's fault. What was he going to find out next? That Papa was hurting in some way other than emotionally from that asshole? He couldn't take it.

"Alfred, I brought you some clean laundry." Arthur said from the doorway. Alfred glanced at him and sat down at his desk. "Are you going to take them?" Nothing. Arthur felt a pang of pain hit his heart. He set the basket down and went to his son.

"Leave me alone." Alfred grumbled.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine. Leave." Arthur sighed and walked out. He didn't know what to do. He went to find Francis. He could help him make sense of this.

He found him in the loft staring out the window with a glass of wine in his hand. He was stunning. Arthur wondered how he had ended up with someone so flawless. The sun danced in his blonde curls. His clothes hung off his body perfectly. It had been so long since Arthur looked at him, truly looked at him. He watched him as he sipped the wine. The sun glinted off the glass and made it look like a diamond. He turned and smiled at Arthur with the warmest of smiles. There was laughter and romance behind that smile. His blue eyes sparkled. Arthur noticed that the way he had turned, he could see a small gap between his shirt and his pants. He marveled the way the inner outline of his hip bones were just barely visible. He truly was lucky to have him. Not only was he physical perfection, but he had a heart the size of the universe, wit that was unparalleled and intelligence that only the truly brilliant would understand.

"Alfred won't talk to me."

"He's a teenager." Francis smiled at him and walked to him. He wrapped his arm around Arthur's waist. "He's supposed to get moody sometimes. He's been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours. Don't take it personally."

"What did I do?"

"Nothing. That's just how sixteen year olds work. They don't need a reason to be angry and annoyed."

"He's no usual teenager. He's _our son_."

"And don't you remember yourself at sixteen? You were positively a brat." Francis sipped his wine again. "In fact, I think special people like us are even worse at every stage of our lives than normal people." He kissed him softly. Arthur smiled at Francis' usual way of referring to them as special. It had been his thing since they met. "We live forever and age beautifully. Everyone is jealous because we're so fabulous." Francis laughed. He kissed him softly once more.

"I know, I'm just…he's just…" Arthur couldn't think of how to tell him.

"Your baby?" Arthur nodded and hid his face in Francis' chest while wrapping his arms tightly around him.

"Yes." Arthurs said blushing that Francis really could see right through him. He fought back the overwhelming fear of losing control again. He met Francis' eyes. "I remember you at sixteen. You were such a whore." Francis laughed in a musical tone that knotted Arthur's stomach.

The memories from when they were younger are what really caused the fear in Arthur that Francis would leave. His track record was to skip from person to person, that was of course until that day things changed in their relationship from frenemies to something else entirely.

"Oui, I was. You put an end to that though." Arthur felt his breath catch as Francis' eyes searched his face with a soft smile on his lips.

"You didn't even care who it was, if someone showed interest, you'd oblige. I hated you for that." Francis smiled and sipped his wine again.

"Love knows no bounds. It is blind, mon ami. It demands to be felt and is not something that can be forced. The heart wants what it wants and you can't deny it the simple pleasures." He winked at the British man in front of him.

"I always forget you're pansexual." Arthur mentally kicked himself when he heard the tone of his voice.

"It's because I've married you, no? You forget this because of that? This hurts you?" He sounded gentle and concerned. Arthur glanced at his shoes and nodded. He hated that his self-esteem was so low that the mere remembrance that his husband had the capacity to be attracted to and love literally anyone caused him slight panic. He was nothing special. Francis was perfect. He belonged with someone perfect. Francis could love anyone regardless of their sex, gender or sexual orientation. That scared him because that encompassed every other perfect person. He didn't need to be with a relatively average man with self-esteem issues and a bad temper.

"Yes. I'm sorry…" The Frenchman set down his wine glass and draped his arms around Arthur's neck.

"Listen, mon cher, you are all I want. I know that." He brushed his lips against Arthur's and smiled at him. "Arthur, I have something to tell you." He said suddenly serious, no hint of a smile on his face. Arthur felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. "You may want to have a seat. This is serious news." He sat, shakily.

"What is it?"

"I…I've known for a while. I should have told you sooner. I'm not pansexual."

"What? You're not?"

"No, my sexuality is Arthur Kirkland." Arthur stared at him.

"What?"

"Arthur Kirkland." He smiled. Arthur felt tears in his eyes. It was one of the most romantic things Francis had ever done and that list was pretty long.

"You…you mean it?" Francis smiled.

"Oui, with all my heart. Now do you feel special? You should." Francis really hoped that Arthur would finally understand. He needed him to understand. He needed him to be confident that he wasn't going to leave him for someone else. If that meant he had to put it in these terms, so be it.

"I hate you, you know that?" Arthur said, pushing Francis' shoulder back softly. Francis looked at him with a soft smile and eyes and giggled.

"I know." Arthur took him in a tight hug. Arthur had never been happier or felt this intensely toward Francis. That statement was huge to him. He'd waited for what felt like forever to know he wasn't the only one who invested his entire self into one person. It wasn't as scary knowing that Francis loved him just the same. They could be so in love it hurt together. The thought was comforting.

* * *

_Well there was chapter seven. Prepare for a lot of fluff and angst in the next few chapters. It's leading to something big. =)_


	8. Chapter 8

Alfred led his brother inside as they came home from school. They found their fathers on the couch, sleeping. Francis was lying on top of Arthur, curled up and snuggling into his chest. Matthew smiled. "I like this a lot better than their usual."

"Don't they have anything better to do?" Alfred muttered walking to the kitchen. Matthew followed him. Since the night he had found him in the bathroom having the panic attack, Alfred hadn't been his usual self. He was grumpy and unpleasant. He didn't even talk to Matthew in the kind way he had prior to that. In fact, he barely talked at all. Matthew worried about his brother. He thought about what had happened in a mere night had changed the dynamics of the family.

"Do you want to go to the park after we eat?" Matthew suggested. Alfred rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Sure, Mattie."

"Are you okay?"

"Oh my god, can people stop asking me if I'm okay?" Alfred snapped slamming the refrigerator shut. Matthew jumped at the sudden outburst.

"What's going on?" Francis asked walking into the room, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

"Nothing." Alfred muttered.

"Mon cher, are you okay?" Francis asked walking over to Alfred. "You're acting so out of character." He went to brush the hair out of Alfred's face. Alfred slapped it away.

"Don't fucking touch me." Francis crossed his arms with a concerned look.

"Okay, but are you going to tell me what is bothering you?" Alfred shook his head as he continued to make his increasingly high stack of sandwiches.

"Mattie and I are going to the park. Don't let the limey go crazy while we're gone." Francis sighed. Matthew went to Francis to give him a tight hug. Francis hugged him back tightly and kissed his forehead. "Take care of him, Matthieu." Francis whispered. Matthew nodded. He really liked it when he could spend time with him, but he knew his brother was already out the door.

"Papa, can we do something together soon?"

"Of course. How about we have a family night tonight? I can cook something good and we can play games?" Matthew nodded with a small smile. He wished he could just say that he meant only the two of them like when he was little, but he knew that was selfish at this point. Francis and Arthur were trying hard, really hard to make the family stronger. Matthew smiled one last time at his father before leaving.

Alfred was waiting for him at the stop sign stuffing his mouth with sandwiches. "You take forever." He said before crossing the street. Matthew was happy to hear a familiar playful tone in his brother's voice.

"I'm sorry. I was talking to Papa."

"You don't have to apologize to me, Mattie. You never have to." He looked at him with the familiar smile.

"Why are you mad at him? He really loves us. I mean they both do, but Papa loves us in a way that we can understand."

"You want to know why I'm mad at him?" Alfred spun around. "Because he's obsessed with Arthur and Arthur's a dick."

"So you've started calling him by his first name now, I see." Matthew said in an annoyed tone. "I don't get what's gotten into you, Alfred, but I don't like it." Matthew began to walk around him and Alfred pushed him causing him to almost lose his balance. Matthew stared at him in shock.

"It's not fair!" Alfred yelled throwing his bag containing the sandwiches to the ground. "I have to be happy all the time. I was okay with it and then you guys discovered that I was weak, so now if I show that weakness there's an issue. I'm not allowed to be anything but happy. I think that is stupid."

"Alfred, it's not that you're not allowed to show emotion. It's that you're acting so differently from the way you were. You don't seem like yourself."

"Go home, Matthew." Alfred glared at him. How dare he? How dare any of them? He was falling apart inside and had been for some time, yet he pretended like nothing was wrong. He built a fort inside himself so he could be the hero for them, the strong one. The fort crumbled when he let himself be found out. Now the pieces of him were falling apart. He was powerless to stop it. It made him so angry that he couldn't get away from it. He didn't see a way to get put together again.

"Freddy…" Matthew took a step toward him. Alfred grabbed him by the front of the shirt. "I swear to god, Matthew, don't you fucking cross me right now. Just leave! Go home and spend precious time with Francis because god knows you'd rather be with him than me." The words tore through Matthew. What was going on with his once sweet little brother? Alfred threw him backward. He landed on him butt and hit his elbow on the pavement. Matthew felt the tears build his eyes, but he just got up, smoothed his clothes and went home. Perhaps Alfred needed space.

Alfred watched his brother leave. He had instantly felt terrible. It wasn't Matthew's fault he felt this way. He had to pull himself together. He had to piece himself back together. He couldn't hurt Matthew. They never even fought when they were little. They had always been gentle and loving toward one another. Alfred sighed and continued to the park, eating as he went.

He sat on the swing at the park eating the sandwiches despite the painful and uncomfortable feeling of engorging his stomach. He pushed himself back and forth gently, his feet never leaving the ground. He looked at the deep blue sky with the cotton candy clouds. He sighed wishing that he hadn't pushed Matthew and yelled at him. What had he been thinking? Now he was alone at their place, their safe haven. What if he had made Matthew hate him? A sinking feeling hit him. What if Matthew had gone home and cut himself because of what Alfred did? What if he tried to kill himself? Alfred jumped off the swing, threw his backpack over his shoulder and dashed home.

He found Matthew laying on his bed reading. "Mattie!" He exclaimed and hopped on the bed. Matthew glanced at him and went back to reading. "So you decided against spending time with Papa? Where did he and Mama go?"

"You're back to Papa and Mama?" Matthew rolled his eyes and sighed. He put his book down and stared intently at him his younger brother.

"Yes…"Alfred looked down and kicked his shoe against the bedframe. "So you aren't spending time with him?"

"It's not that I don't want to, but it's the fact that I choose you over him, over them, every time and they were gone when I got here." Alfred nodded slowly. He had been acting like a jerk.

"Mattie, are you okay?"

"What?" Matthew's tone through the entire conversation was short with a hint of mild annoyance. It was very unlike Matthew. Alfred had never heard Mattie speak in this tone before.

"I'm so sorry about what I did back there. It won't happen again. I just…" Alfred trailed off. Matthew sat up.

"Okay." He seemed to be waiting for more.

"Like really sorry. How's your elbow?"

"I'll live."

"So…do you forgive me?"

"Of course, I do." Mattie smiled. Alfred smiled with relief.

"Awesome. I was worried you were m…" Suddenly Alfred was on his stomach against the bed. Matthew was on top of Alfred half straddling his torso, a knee painfully jabbing into his side and one in his back with Alfred's arms and legs twisted in uncomfortably painful positions. Matthew leaned down closer to him causing the knee pinned to Alfred's back pushed in more forcefully.

"I may be sensitive and you may be the one who's had to comfort me our entire lives, but don't you dare forget you're still my little brother."

"By thirty minutes!" Alfred protested. "Let me go!" Matthew pulled his arm back sharply causing a flash a pain.

"Push me again or cross me again and I swear it'll be the last thing you do." Matthew said coldly. "Do you understand?"

"Get of me!" Alfred squirmed hoping to knock his brother off.

"I said, do you understand me?"

"Yes! Yes! Okay, get off me now." Matthew rested his elbow in a pressure point.

"What did I say?"

"Ow, ow, ow, stop it!" Alfred whined.

"What did I say?"

"I promise I won't hurt you again, Mattie. I won't yell at you or push you or anything. It'll be like it was before!" Alfred talked so quickly, his words slurred together. He just wanted Matthew to let go. To his relief Matthew released him just as quickly as he had pinned him. Matthew went back to reading.

"Where the hell did you learn that?" Alfred said rubbing his arms. Matthew looked up from his book with a smirk.

"What do you ever mean, little brother?" Matthew feigned innocence, reinforcing himself as powerful.

"No, seriously. We never fought like that as kids. How did you learn that?"

"Why do you think I stopped getting bullied at school?" Alfred stared at him. "I told Papa what was going on and he put me in some self-defense classes. You should never fight, but subdue your enemies. It's the most effective and peaceful process."

"Well good job, Matthew." Alfred tried to jump on him in a surprise attack. Matthew pinned him again.

"Try me." Matthew smirked. Alfred sighed and Matthew let him back up.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I told you it's okay. We're cool. And I got to use my trick on you. Let me tell you, that was great satisfaction. You've always been stronger than me. It's good to know I can take you if I wanted."

"In your dreams." Matthew pinned him again in yet another position.

"You feeling lucky?"

"Stop it, Mattie!" This time Alfred was able to push him off. He stood up and moved out of his brother's reach. "So tell me…are you okay?"

"I'm grand." Matthew smiled. Alfred nodded and smiled too.

"Mattie?" Matthew met his brother's baby blue eyes. "You…I mean…You didn't hurt yourself because of what I did…did you?" Alfred's voice was soft and gentle with a hint of worry. Matthew blinked a few times before a warm smile spread over his face.

"No, no, Freddy, I told you, I stopped when Papa and Mama stopped fighting." Matthew took off his hoodie to reveal only healing and almost healed cuts. There was nothing new. "I just figured you needed your space and I plotted my revenge." He smirked playfully at his brother.

"Oh, okay." Alfred smiled and plopped back on the bed by his brother. "I'm glad you're not hurting yourself, Mattie." He hugged him tightly.

"What about you?" Alfred lowered his eyes. He couldn't look at his brother.

"It's not that simple." Alfred whispered. "I…I can't just stop. If I don't do it, I can't think. I can't do anything. I get so fixated and the anxiety gets so bad and it's in my head until I do it. It's not as easy as just stopping."

"I don't want you to die."

"Papa said we live forever."

"You misunderstood him. He uses it to describe the soul. He said that to Mama and he's not about to kill himself. Those two are old and seen a lot. Everyone die, Freddy."

"How do you know?"

"Everyone knows that. I've talked to them about it. I'm worried about you."

"You told them?"

"No. I just asked the question and they told me." Matthew stared at his brother's face. He fidgeted and his blue eyes kept flickering toward the bathroom door. "You want to go do it, don't you?" Alfred nodded. "You really need to stop."

"I'm sorry, Mattie." Alfred hugged him once more and practically ran to the bathroom.

* * *

_I decided to have a chapter with just the twins. Do you guys like my head canon about Canada being able to take America? hehe :)_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Mature content in this chapter!**_

* * *

"Are you boys ready for a fun night?" Arthur asked smiling. "Francis is going to make dinner and we can play some games tonight. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Matthew smiled at him.

"That sounds nice, Mama." Francis came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Arthur's waist and kissing his cheek. "Don't come in the kitchen, cher. I don't want a fire." He said with a giggle before going to the kitchen. Arthur rolled his eyes with a small smile.

"I don't want to do shit with you." Alfred muttered getting up and purposely bumping into Arthur as he left the room.

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up, old fart." Alfred pulled his hood up and put his headphones in before going out the front door, slamming it as he left. Arthur turned around.

"What the bullocks has gotten into him?" Matthew shrugged.

"I'm still in."

"I…I don't know." Arthur felt so hurt. He loved Alfred so much. He didn't understand what was going on. Alfred had been rude to him the past few years, but he always thought he was joking. Had he really been angry with him all this time? That thought shattered his heart. "You know what, Matthew? Why don't you just stop messing things up?" Matthew gave him a confused look. "No, really, you got into his head didn't you?"

"No, I swear."

"You just only want to spend time with Francis. Why? Is he more fun than I am?"

"No, Mama…"

"Because he's more affectionate? You are sixteen years old and I think it's quite improper for much physical contact between a father and his sons at such an age."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're grounded."

"What?" Arthur spun around and went to the kitchen to get some scotch. Francis looked up at him with a playful smile.

"I sought I told you not to come into zee kitchen." He smiled taking Arthur's hand and swirling him around. Arthur swatted his hand away.

"Stop it. You need to act more like an adult and less like a bloody child." Francis stepped back with a hurt look on his face. "And there will be no family night, so you can get out."

"What are you talking about?"

"Go ask your favorite person." Venom dripped from the words. Francis felt the familiar pain in his body. He loved Arthur more than anything in the world, so he would deal with the verbal abuse he often endured from his lover. He knew he didn't mean it. Arthur just got mean when he was hurt. He thought it would get easier, but it never did. It always made him want to cry. That was it, that way the answer he'd been looking for the last night he'd been thrown out. The reason he fought back was the hurt it caused him. He wanted to get even. It was pride. He had to swallow that pride if things were going to get better. He silently left the kitchen leaving Arthur alone to unwind.

* * *

Francis came into the kitchen and let out an exaggerated sigh before leaning dramatically over to Arthur. Arthur gave him an annoyed look. "What is your problem?" He asked.

"Well your attitude is in the gutter." Francis muttered.

"Oh shut it, Frenchy!"

"I am merely observing zee fact zat you are being prissy."

"Leave me alone." Arthur pushed him away from him. Francis felt the hurt causing a rise in anger in him. He glanced over to where Matthew was sitting in the living room reading. Alfred was laying the couch with his headphones in playing a video game. He took a deep breath and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"Mon cher, we can't do zis now. Mattie and Alfred…" Arthur nodded. He grabbed Francis' wrist and dragged him to bedroom. He shut the door and glared at Francis.

"You want to make fun of me when I'm hurt?" Arthur snapped crossing his arms.

"I wasn't making fun of you!"

"Then why did you do what you did when you came in the kitchen? You know I was hurt!" Francis hugged him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't sink. I just…You know I'm dramatic." Arthur looked up at him, arms still crossed though his face was soft.

"I don't like this, Francis. I don't like them backing out of everything. You had planned a really nice evening and they don't want it."

"Mattie said he had his reasons. Zey want it to be another day."

"No, Matthew wants it to be another day. Alfred doesn't want to do anything." Tears pulled in Arthur's eyes. "Why does he hate me?"

"He doesn't hate you."

"Then why is he treating me like this?" Francis hugged him. He didn't know. He wished he had all the answers and could make him stop crying and Alfred stop being mad, but he didn't so he couldn't.

"He's just a teenager." Francis said softly.

"I want him to be a baby again. Why do they have to grow up, Francis?"

"Zat is life."

"I don't like it."

"Nobody does."

"You were a bloody adorable baby." Francis laughed and kissed his cheek.

"I know. I know."

"And you're bloody sexy now." Francis shrugged.

"What can I say?" Arthur kissed him and walked him to the bed. They laid down and just kissed and cuddled. Francis was lying on his back and Arthur was lying across his chest, his head propped up on his hand, playing absently with the blonde curls.

"Perhaps we should spend more quality time with zee boys?" Francis suggested.

"I need that. I don't think I've really talked to them in a long while."

"Yes, I do agree wis zat. Zey do better when zey are together wis one of us zan any ozer way."

"That's true. It would be awkward for me to only spend time with one of them alone." Arthur muttered.

"What? How can you feel awkward? Zey are our sons!"

"That's the problem."

"So then you can take the first night. I'll go do something with Antonio and Gilbert. You can do whatever you'd like. Zen we can alternate and I can spend time wis zem. Zee sird night we will be together." Francis smiled.

"Yes, alright."

"It's a plan." Francis kissed Arthur as he pulled off his shirt.

* * *

Alfred found Matthew in his room reading. "Dude, Mattie, check it out, bro!" He looked at him. "Dude, why do you read so much. You're such a nerd."

"Do you ever read, Alfred?"

"Why would I do that?"

"You can experience another time and place and world."

"Nah, brah, that's what TV is for. Anyway check it out, I decided that I'm going to try to piss Mama off. He already hates that I like rap, right?" Matthew nodded skeptical of where his brother was going. "Well hold on." He ran into the bathroom. Matthew sighed. He didn't understand why his brother was constantly trying to piss their dad off. He wondered what it was going to be this time.

Alfred emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. Matthew's draw dropped. He stared as his brother struck of a few poses. He had a baseball cap turned the side, chains draped around his neck, a baggy basketball jersey and oversized pants that were falling off. "Thug life." Alfred said flashing a made up gang sign.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Matthew asked.

"Hey I didn't choose the thug life, bro. The thug life chose me." Alfred giggled at the overused joke.

"Take those clothes off and burn them."

"It'll make Mama so mad though, right?"

"It will probably make Papa faint." Matthew said. "Do you want to get back at him too? You know how much he cares about clothes."

"Minor complications."

"Alfred, I'll put this lightly. If you don't take those clothes off, I will not speak to you. I will be an only child."

"Mattie!" Alfred whined and huffed. "It will be so funny!"

"It's not funny. It's ridiculous. You look so stupid."

"Fine. You're no fun." Alfred went and changed back to his usual style: faded jeans with the start of holes in the knee with military style boots or red converse (today was the boots), usually a button down or a tee shirt, today was an I NYC shirt and a motocross style leather jacket. When it was colder out, he'd exchange the motocross jacket with a bomber pilot jacket. Occasionally he would wear a zip up hoodie.

"You look better now." Alfred huffed and sat on the floor playing absently with the dog tags he wore around his neck.

Matthew loved his brother's style. He often wore some of his brother's clothes. His style was more relaxed, usually just some jeans and a pull over hoodie with chucks. He felt really cool when Alfred let him borrow his clothes.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe stop trying to piss him off?"

"That's no fun. Besides he totally deserves it. You know, I don't usually talk about this, but the way he's always criticizing me gets to me…a lot. And I mean Papa says he means well, but I don't think so."

"Well at least he doesn't blame you for everything that goes wrong."

"He likes you more than me, Mattie. That's not fair. You have Papa and I'm supposed to have Mama." Alfred hugged his knees and rested his head on his arms. He took off his glasses as they were bothering him. Mattie could see the tears that were building up.

"You're still his favorite, Freddy. He wants you to be a proper gentleman is all. Kind of like how Papa raised me to be sensitive. They basically tried to make us a better version of themselves." Alfred rolled his eyes.

"Forget that. Dude, I bet Mama wishes he never adopted me."

"That's not true, Freddy. They love us a lot."

"I don't even care about that." Alfred picked up his glasses and put them on, the smile plastered back on his face. "This is way too much talking about our feelings. We sound like girls…or Papa." Mattie let out a chuckle.

"Look, I know you are mad at Mama…"

"I'm not mad at him. I hate him. There's a big difference." Matthew sighed.

"Hate comes from somewhere. That's what Papa always told me."

"You're starting to sound like him."

"That's not a bad thing. Anyway, what I'm saying is I know you don't want to be around him and all, but I really wanted to spend time with Papa and he really got excited about tonight. So will you please endure being around him for just one night? For me?" Alfred rolled his eyes.

"You're lucky I'm the best brother in the entire world." Matthew jumped up and hugged him. He was so happy. He didn't even care if his brother thought his affection was misguided. He was raised by a very in tune and affectionate man. He hadn't been as influenced by the proper Englishman who believed that after a certain age, sons didn't need to be shown they were loved.

"So where are the old guys anyway?" Alfred asked messing up his hair in Matthew's mirror.

"What are you doing?"

"This will annoy him." Alfred giggled. Matthew sighed and shook his head.

"You better not cause a fight."

"I won't. I just want to bother him is all."

"That always leads to a fight!"

"I won't respond."

"You're a liar."

"I so am not!"

"Come on. I think they're in their room. They go in there a lot since that last time Mama kicked Papa out. I've noticed that when they snap at each other, they go to their room. I guess they're still fighting, just more controlled." Matthew said as he led Alfred to the door. As Matthew brought a hand up to knock, they heard a long and passionate moan from what sounded like Francis.

"Mon dieu." Matthew cried as he ran away and down the stairs. Alfred laughed. He banged the door loudly.

"When you two old dudes are done doing it, Matthew and I will be downstairs waiting for our dinner and game night!" He called. He laughed as he heard cursing from Arthur and an annoyed and pleading tone from Francis. He was satisfied that he'd successfully ruined Arthur's sexy time. With that he walked downstairs with a smug smirk.

* * *

As soon as Arthur had heard Alfred at the door, he lost his focus and let go. He rolled of Francis and started pulling on his clothes. "Arthur, you can't do that!" Francis whined.

"We have to go downstairs."

"You can't just leave me like this. I was almost there. I didn't get to finish."

"Too bad, I am not in the mood. Our son just heard us having sex!"

"So?" Francis said squirming a little bit. "You better get over here and finish what you started! I'm so on edge right now."

"Finish yourself off."

"No! It's not the same." He whined and grabbed Arthur's wrist. "Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeaaaasssse!" He begged. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I said no. No means no."

"You can't do this to me!"

"I'll put this in a way you'll understand, non." He tore his arm away from him and left the room leaving Francis to tend to his sexual frustrations.

"I hate you!" Francis yelled at him.

"Love you, too, amour!"

"Don't speak French to me under these circumstances! Why do you not know French any other time than when you're messing with me?" Arthur rolled his eyes. This was not the time to be calling the conversation to each other.

"Fils de salope! C'est des conneries !" Francis yelled at him. Arthur didn't know what he had said, but he knew it was profanity.

Arthur went downstairs and found Alfred laughing next to a blushing Matthew who wouldn't even look at Arthur. "Matthew, are you okay?"

"You totally scarred him for life!" Alfred laughed.

"Oh come now, be mature."

"You're not supposed to do that! You're old!" Matthew said covering his face. Arthur went to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Get away! Don't touch me until you wash your dirty hands." Alfred was dying laughing.

"Matthew, you're being a child."

"I know you touched dirty, dirty areas on both of your bodies." Arthur rolled his eyes, realizing he rolled his eyes a lot. He went to the kitchen and washed his hands. Francis appeared and bumped him out of the way as he did so before beginning to get the food out. He seemed really angry.

"Are you okay?"

"Vas te faire encule." Francis muttered. Arthur was getting annoyed.

"If you're going to curse at me at least do it in English."

"Non." Francis snapped. Arthur heard Alfred trying to keep from laughing in the living room. He went in and saw Alfred and Mattie super close with Mattie's hand covering his mouth to whisper in Alfred's ear.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." They said in unison.

"So you're really mad?" Arthur said to Francis.

"Ta gueule. Casse-toi."Arthur sighed and watched Francis violently chop vegetables. Alfred made that strained laughter sound again. Matthew had a huge grin on his face.

"You're translating for him! What is he saying?" Matthew shook his head.

"Matthew, I swear to god, if you don't tell me I will pour out the maple syrup." Matthew's eyes got huge.

"He told you to shut the fuck up and fuck off."

"What else?" Matthew shook his head. Arthur started to make his way to the pantry. He picked up the syrup.

"Okay! When he yelled at you upstairs, he said, 'Son of a bitch. This is bullshit.' Then he said, 'Fuck you.' Please don't mess with my syrup!"

"Matthieu!" Francis scolded.

"You're the one who said it!" Arthur had his arms crossed and was glaring at Francis.

"Oh come on, you knew I was cursing at you."

"But you won't curse at me in English?"

"It loses meaning."

"Oh so you wanted to go the meaner route?" Francis shrugged. Arthur shifted his glare to Alfred who was still snickering. "You know that's bloody hurtful, right?"

"Je m'en fou." Arthur looked at Matthew who already whispered the translation to Alfred causing another round of laughter. He gave him the look to tell him.

"I don't give a fuck." Matthew hid his face in his arms. He really hoped there wouldn't be a huge fight.

"Alfred, Matthew, go to your rooms. Don't come out until I say so."

"Why?" Alfred asked.

"Just go." Arthurs said exasperated, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm good."

"Okay, fine. Then you get to hear about sexually frustrated Papa which is fitting because it's due to your interrupting."

"NOPE!" Alfred and Matthew ran up the stairs. Arthur waited until he heard the door slam. He went to the kitchen where Francis was still preparing the food.

"I'm sorry." Arthur said from behind.

"What were you doing!?" Francis snapped. "Do you know how bad that feels? You always have to build up zis huge climax for me, but today you just had to leave so fast? I am so tense!" Arthur began to massage his shoulders and arms. Francis turned and looked at him. He noticed the tears in his eyes.

"Francis…"

"I can't get rid of it. It almost hurts. All the nerves in my body are super alert." He mumbled. Arthur smiled and dropped to his knees before unzipping his pants. He very rarely gave oral to Francis. He really didn't like to give it. He had his preferences for his sex life and he liked being dominant. Francis watched him with careful eyes. In the twenty years they had been together, Francis could count on one hand the number of times Arthur did this.

"Not here. Zat is so unsanitary." He motioned for the Brit to stand up and led him to the closet. "I want you to finish what you started."

"That's why I'm doing this."

"No. That isn't going to cut it." Arthur understood and he obliged. He'd never felt so much excitement as he did getting rid of his husband's frustration in a practically empty broom closet.

* * *

_Well there you have it. Again, if the French is wrong let me know. _


	10. Chapter 10

Francis hugged the twins goodbye. "I'll be back in a few hours. Remember if you need anything at all, I'll 'ave my phone. Also you know Gilbert and Antonio."

"Just go before it's your bedtime. I know you oldies can't stay out too late." Alfred joked. Francis let out a chuckle and hugged Alfred a second time.

"I love zat you are back to joking around. I was getting so worried! Have fun with your dad." Arthur was standing by the door nervously.

"What if they hate me?" Arthur asked quietly.

"Zey don't hate you, silly. Now just 'ave a good time. You will do wonderfully. You 'ave been zeir dad zeir entire life." Arthur nodded.

"So what are you doing tonight?"

"Guess. I'll give you a hint, Gilbert planned the night."

"You're going to go drinking?"

"Oui. Don't worry, I won't get drunk." He kissed Arthur. "Au revoir!" He closed the door behind him. Arthur felt a slight panic rise in him. Francis was the one who kept him calm around the twins. He remembered the times when he had kicked Francis out and how things got with the boys. He shook his head.

"I've got this." He muttered to himself before going to the living room. Matthew and Alfred were sitting silently on the couch staring at the ground. They too remembered what it had always been like to be left alone with Arthur. Of course these circumstances were different, but a lifetime pattern was hard to overlook.

"So…" Arthur started awkwardly.

"So…" Alfred mimicked.

"What do you boys want to do?"

"I say we have ice cream for dinner and pizza for dessert and hamburgers as the appetizer." Alfred smiled.

"Alfred, can you be serious?"

"I don't think he's joking." Matthew said quietly. He felt so tense, so nervous. How much longer before Arthur started yelling at them? How much longer before he freaked out and started in on him?

"I'm not." Alfred stared at Arthur.

"That isn't even a proper dinner."

"Don't care. That's what we want, right Mattie?" Matthew nodded. Arthur sighed.

"I suppose. Let's go." Alfred jumped up and high fived his brother. He picked up his phone and started ordering pizza. Matthew stood next to his brother and Arthur motioned for them to follow him.

"Okay, they said the pizzas will be ready in about thirty minutes."

"Pizzas?"

"Yeah. I totally got one for each of us." He put his feet on the dashboard and turned on the rap station. Arthur's knuckles were white as he held the steering wheel.

"Alfred, we're not listening to this."

"Dude, don't be such a buzz kill! This is my jam!" Arthur sighed and clicked the radio off. Alfred turned it back on. Matthew watched as they went back and forth from the backseat. He could barely breathe. He wanted to tell Alfred to stop and just drop it, but he couldn't move. Finally Arthur pulled the car over and grabbed Alfred by the front of his shirt.

"Now you listen to me, you little twat. We are not listening to that infernal racket. It's not real music and it pisses me off. I'm the adult and I say we're not listening to it. Do you understand me?" Alfred stared at him with wide eyes. "I said do you understand!" The boy nodded. The Englishman shoved him back. He rubbed his face instantly regretting his actions when he saw the slight shimmer of tears starting in his son's eyes. "Alfie…I'm sorry."

Alfred tensed at the use of his old nickname that his parents used to call him when he was little. His brother was the only one who called him by anymore and he always called him Freddy. He stared out the window. The asshole couldn't just lash out and expect to be forgiven instantly because he apologized. He wasn't Francis. He wasn't obligated to forgive him. In fact, Alfred thought that Francis was stupid for forgiving him so quickly and so often. He shot him the middle finger as his only response. Arthur sighed and started back toward the store in silence.

The rest of the trip was uneventful and awkward. Alfred had moved to the back seat when they got to the store and both brothers refused to go inside with Arthur. Alfred was angry and Matthew seemed a bit scared. Arthur mentally kicked himself, but he figured that he could still save the night. He just had to keep control of his temper. He pulled into the driveway and the boys jumped out.

Alfred started eating as soon as they got inside. He loaded up a plate and sat in the living room while Arthur set up a movie. He was shoveling a pint of chocolate ice cream into his mouth between bites of hamburger and pizza. Arthur gave him a disgusted look. Mattie came in and saw the same scene, but wanted to cry. He felt so bad for his brother knowing that Alfred had to eat like this.

"Alfred, slow down. You need to chew your food." Alfred tried, but he couldn't. The enticing flavors calmed him and slowing down caused the anxiety to slightly increase. Arthur let out an exasperated sigh. "You're going to become a diabetic fat person when you get older, that is unless of course you choke to death." Matthew saw his brother tense.

"That's not true." Alfred mumbled.

"Oh and why is that? You're always eating. You need to stop engorging yourself. Your metabolism is going to slow down eventually and all that will catch up with you. I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet." Alfred was trembling at this point. "I'm serious, Alfie, stop eating. You've had enough already and I will not have my son being the epitome of bad health."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"And don't worry, I won't be that person you think I will be."

"Why?"

"IT'S CALLED BULIMIA, OKAY?" Alfred screamed before the tears started falling. He wanted desperately to stop, but his anxiety was through the roof. If he stopped or even slowed down at this point, he'd be a mess. He knew that he was at the point where he'd have to keep eating until he physically couldn't eat anymore. Then the anxiety would build until he purged. Arthur started laughing.

"Are you bloody serious?"

"Mama, stop." Mattie said softly.

"MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!" He snapped. He glanced back at Alfred. "You are seriously expecting me to believe that you'd waste any food? I wasn't born yesterday. You are a glutton. Just admit it."

"I'm not! I just…I just…"

"Oh shut it! I can't believe you are lying to me."

"I want to stop, okay? I want to stop more than anything."

"Then stop." Arthur chuckled. Alfred wiped his face and went upstairs. Matthew watched helplessly. Alfred felt the overwhelming urge and anxiety building up as he headed to the bathroom. His body already knew what he was doing began to dry heave. He fell to his knees as he vomited the contents of his stomach. When he was done, he just stared through his tears.

"Mama really doesn't care…" He whispered to himself. He heard yelling from downstairs. He brushed the tears away, flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth. He could hear his brother yelling through choked sobs. Alfred made his way downstairs just in time to see Arthur shoved Matthew into the wall.

"YOU'RE ALWAYS IN THE WAY! WHY DON'T YOU LEARN TO MIND YOUR BLOODY BUSINESS?" Arthur's arm raised and Alfred jumped in front of his brother. "Move." Arthur growled.

"He didn't do anything. Leave him alone." Alfred said happy his voice was steady.

"So you think you're going to stop me?" Arthur laughed, then narrowed his eyes. He slapped Alfred and then elbowed him in the stomach before storming upstairs. Alfred fell to his knees in shock and tears fell from his eyes. Matthew hugged him.

"Can you call, Papa, please? Tell him to come home." Alfred whispered.

* * *

Francis walked through the door humming. The lights were off and he could see the flicker of the TV. He smiled and glided into the room. "You missed me too much!" He laughed before pausing. Alfred was sitting on the couch hugging a pillow with his knees pulled to his chest while Matthew had his arms wrapped around his twin, his head resting on his shoulder as they stared at the TV with glassy eyes. Neither one of them looked at him. He knelt in front of them. "A-are you okay?" He asked softly. They just glanced at him and didn't say a word. Suddenly Alfred was clinging on to him for dear life. "What happened?" Still no response. He glanced at Matthew who was staring at the TV once again in the same position that Alfred once was. He tried to pull away from Alfred, but he wouldn't let go. Francis held him.

Alfred pulled back as suddenly as he'd hugged him and stared at the TV again. Francis slowly stood up and walked upstairs to look for Arthur. He was so shaken. What was going on? Matthew hadn't sounded upset when he called him. He found Arthur lying in bed drinking out of a bottle of schnapps.

"Ey! There 'e is! Come on ya!" He motioned for Francis to come to him. Francis sat down and swept his hair back into a ponytail.

"What is going on?" Francis looked at him.

"Those 'oys are some bloody brats!"

"What happened?" Francis asked taking the bottle from him.

"Ey! Give muh back tha' bo'le!" He grabbed for it. Francis shook his head.

"Mon cher, what did you do?"

"What?"

"Zee boys are…zey called me to come home, but zey won't talk."

"Fuck 'em." Arthur started kissing Francis.

"Stop it, Arthur." He pushed him away.

"No. I wanna 'ave fun."

"No, stop it." Francis pushed Arthur's hands away from his pants.

"Just let me fuck you, will ya?" Arthur snapped and started kissing Francis' neck. Francis sighed. He really wasn't in the mood which was huge because he barely ever turned Arthur down.

"Arthur, listen to me." He took his hands and held him away. "What did you do to Alfred and Matthieu."

"That's not 'is name. I-" He hiccupped. "It's Matttthhhhhew, not Mattttooo." Francis rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Well whatever. What do you do?"

"I jus' put 'em in their place. I'm the bloody dad." Francis sighed.

"Did you hurt zem?"

"No." Arthur curled up on the bed. "I just 'ave anger issues." Francis uncrossed his arms and hugged him.

"You need to control zat if you want to get better with zem."

"I know." Francis helped get Arthur in bed before holding him as they fell asleep

* * *

_Okay, so be prepared for a lot of craziness building up. There are probably no more than 5 chapters left. Just going to warn y'all that it's going to get hella messy and their will be a lot more triggers as we get closer to the end._


	11. Chapter 11

Francis got up early to make breakfast for his family. He crept out of bed careful not to wake Arthur. He pulled on a pair of pants and slipped on a button down shirt. He checked his hair in the mirror and smiled. He thought to himself how perfect he looked before gliding out of the room. He closed the door softly before going to check on Matthew and Alfred. They had really scared him last night. He opened Matthew's room and found it empty. He opened Alfred's door and found the twins curled up facing each other in the way they used to sleep when they were little. Francis smiled and went to cover them up. Matthew moved in his sleep as Francis turned to leave. His sleeve pulled halfway up his forearm to reveal fresh cuts from the night before, but Francis hadn't seen them. He was already leaving the room.

He made his way downstairs and sighed when he saw the mess that had been left from the night before. He started cleaning. He finished soon and went to the kitchen happy to finally start breakfast. He whistled as he threw together the ingredients and happily thought of the quaint little family breakfast he would prepare. He smiled at the idea of waking everyone up with the smell of delicious French cuisine. He heard footsteps and he got excited to see which family member he enticed first.

Arthur appeared with a scowl on his face. "Must you be so bloody loud? And what are you cooking? It's nauseating."

"Zat's just because you're hung over." Francis stated feeling slightly hurt by his husband's comment, but he knew he was just grouchy. "I found you wis an almost empty bottle of peach schnapps last night. And I sought I was zee one who was going out drinking. Sit. I'll make you somesing that will cure your hangover."

"Francis, don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes I hate everything you have to say in that stupid accent and I just want to slap you." Francis giggled and handed him a mixture in a cup.

"Drink. And not to worry. I feel zee same towards you." He started humming and looked slyly over at the miserable Arthur before he went to YouTube and he turned the volume up. "It's our song, mon amour."

"Huh?" Arthur said as "True Love" by P!nk began playing.

"Ugh, NO!" Arthur banged his head against the table before swearing. Francis started singing along to it.

"At the same time, I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck. You're an asshole, but I love you. And you make me so mad I ask myself why I'm still here or where could I go? You're zee only love I've ever known, but I hate you, I really hate you so much I sink it must be TRUE LOVE!" He kissed Arthur who pushed him away roughly.

"Shut the hell up!"

"Oh, you are starting to sound like Lovino!" Arthur glared at Francis.

"No else can break my heart like you." Francis sang along giving Arthur a sad look. Arthur knew it was real, though Francis was trying to pretend like he was acting. "Just once try to wrap your little brain around my feelings. Just once please try not to be so mean. Repeat after me now R-O-M-A-N-C-E." Arthur sighed. Why was he being so annoying this morning? Arthur knew that Francis was trying to get his point across with music, but he thought it was rather childish. He guessed it couldn't hurt to appease him. He knew which verses Francis wanted him to say. He muttered along to the words to Francis.

"Why do you rub me the wrong way? Why do you say the things that you say? Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be, but without you I'm incomplete. I think it must be true love." Francis smiled happily. "Now will you turn it down? I have such a bad headache." Francis turned it off and continued humming as he cooked.

"You walked right into zat, mon chère." Arthur groaned.

"Shut up…"

"Drink what I gave you. It helps. It's Gilbert's recipe and have you ever seen him or Ludwig wis a hang over? Non." Arthur sighed. He did have a point. He took a sip because coughing and gagging.

"What the hell is this? It's awful."

"Zis is how everyone feels when you cook. Just drink it." Francis winked. Arthur glared at him.

"I hate you."

"I hate you more." Francis winked.

* * *

Matthew woke up to find his brother curled up in a ball staring at the wall. Alfred was really scaring him. He wouldn't talk last night after Arthur hit him except to repeat over and over to Matthew, "Mama doesn't love me." Everything that happened had caused him to relapse with cutting, but mainly his fear for Alfred.

"Are you okay?" Matthew asked quietly. Alfred glanced at him shook his head. Matthew sighed and hugged him. "Get dressed, Freddy." He sat up, but just stared at the ground without responding. "I think Papa is making breakfast. Do you want to come down and eat?" With that Alfred burst into sobs. Matthew mentally cursed himself and hugged his brother. "Come with me."

Alfred allowed Matthew to lead him downstairs by the hand. They froze as they saw Arthur. They didn't know what kind of mood he'd be in, but they were shocked to find him pleasantly drinking his tea and laughing at something Francis had said.

"You're too much." Arthur wiped his eyes. "Good morning boys. Did you sleep well?" Alfred's hand tightened its grip on his brothers. Matthew turned and offered him a warm smile before turning back to the kitchen.

"Good morning." Matthew said going to sit down.

"Good morning, Mattie! Good morning, Alfie!" Francis said in a sing-song voice.

"Hi, Alfred." Arthur smiled. Alfred took a step toward Francis, not saying a word. Francis looked at him. "Do you want to help me cook?" Alfred looked at him before grabbing him in a hug again. Francis was again shocked. It was so unlike Alfred. He would have expected it from Matthew, but not Alfred. Even when Alfred was little he never did this, not to Francis. If he wanted a hug or wanted to cuddle, he always without fail went to Arthur. Francis wrapped him in a tight hug and was shocked when he let out a shudder breath as tears formed in his eyes. Francis turned to look at Arthur.

"What zee hell did you do?" He asked. Arthur's eyes narrowed.

"What makes you think I did something?"

"He was his usual self yesterday before I left, you know happy, smiling and joking around. I get home and he's like this. What did you do?" Arthur rolled his eyes. He wasn't about to tell him what had unfolded the night before. He definitely wasn't going to tell him what happened when he got a little drunk and went back downstairs and started just wailing his frustrations on his younger son carefully avoiding his face know it would be obvious to Francis.

"I didn't do anything. We just got into an argument is all."

"He doesn't get like this when you two get into arguments. This isn't normal." Francis was starting to get angry.

"I love you, Papa." Alfred whispered. Francis was a bit relieved that Alfred was finally talking. He still held his son and tried to comfort him as he finished cooking and serving.

"I love you too, bébé." Francis noticed Alfred shaking. He felt tears well in his eyes. What was going on?

"Arthur, mon cœur, what happened?" He asked softly.

"I told you, nothing." Arthur said coolly. "Why don't you believe me? Maybe he had a nightmare in which you died or something?"

"I don't think that's the case." Francis said softly. "Mattie, ange, can you please finish up?" Matthew nodded and Francis took Alfred out of the room still holding him in a tight hug.

Matthew finished up putting the food on the plates before setting the table. As he set down the plate for Arthur, he reached out not wanting to stand too close to him. Arthur grabbed his wrist and shoved up his sleeve. Matthew cursed himself for being so careless as to let anyone see it besides Alfred.

"What the bloody hell is this?" Arthur exclaimed. Matthew tried to tug his arm back, but Arthur held strong. Matthew winced as the pressure caused the cuts to stretch and sting. "I asked you a question."

"I…"

"Did you do this to yourself?" Arthur hissed yanking his arm toward him. Matthew nodded. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you know how much you'd break Francis' heart if he saw this?" Arthur pushed Matthew away with disgusted look. "You and that brother of yours…" He shook his head. Matthew felt the tears in his eyes. Some of the cuts were started to bleed. Matthew felt a wave of anger and courage rise in him. He stood up.

"It's your fault. You're the reason we're so messed up right now." Matthew was shaking as he glared at him. "And you messed up my brother so much." He whispered the last part. Arthur stood up and shoved him hard against the wall. Matthew gasped as Arthur grabbed the front of his shirt. Francis was literally just in the other room and would come back at any moment and Arthur was still doing this.

"You need to shut up and mind your place. If you ever," Arthur slammed him against the wall again, "ever show Francis and crush him, it will be the last thing you do. You do not, I repeat, you do NOT get to hurt him with your selfishness! I will not see that beautiful man cry because of you." Arthur sat back down at the table and began to pick at his food. Matthew was still leaning against the wall taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

* * *

Francis led Alfred to the back patio where flowers lined the small covered area. "What's wrong?" He sat him down.

"Nothing." Alfred muttered as he hugged his knees. "Just don't leave us. Please."

"Mon chère, I would never leave you." Alfred glanced at him with teary blue eyes. Francis wanted to cry. What could be bothering him like this? He brushed the tears off his face. "Why are you worried I'll leave?"

"You made a schedule." Alfred sniffled. "Please don't leave."

"Schedule? Ohhh, mon chère, I sink you misunderstood. Zat was schedule for us to have family time and give you boys time wis each of us. It's not a schedule of me leaving." Francis smiled and adjusted Alfred's stray hairs.

"Don't go." Alfred took him in a hug again.

"What happened last night?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Alfred sniffled again.

"Did you have fun wis your dad?" Alfred shook his head.

After a moment, "Mama doesn't love me anymore."

"What? Mon chère, of course he Arthur loves you! Why do you feel he doesn't?" Alfred buried his face in Francis' chest.

"I told him something important and he laughed at me. Then he got angry." Alfred winced as he shifted, his bruised body protesting the movement. "Please don't start hating me too, Papa." Francis moved Alfred gently from around him and stood up.

"I could never hate you." He said softly before angrily storming in the house.

"ARTHUR!" An angry French accent cut through the tense silence. He stormed in the room and grabbed Arthur by the arm and dragged him out of the room. Matthew watched in shock. He wondered if Francis had seen what happened. Francis dragged the Englishman to the living room.

"What is your problem?" Arthur demanded.

"Why does Alfred sink you don't love him?"

"Um…what?"

"He sinks you don't love him. He sinks you hate him. Why did you laugh at him? What did he tell you?"

"Look, Francis, that's not of your business. It's between me and my son."

"Our son." Francis said coolly.

"I really don't give a shit whose son he is or isn't. The point is it's not your business when he tells me something and not you."

"It is my business when's he's a mess like zat because of it!"

"He's just trying to tear us apart. Forget it, Francis. You know I love him, but I can't stand by while he is out to destroy our family!" Arthur went to go back to the kitchen and Francis grabbed him.

"You are not leaving until this is fixed. Now you go apologize! I wanted a nice family breakfast and it's been a disaster so far." He pushed him outside. "Alfred, Arthur has somesing to say to you before we have dinner!" Francis gave Arthur a look before going inside. Arthur glared at Alfred.

"What did I tell you? You and your damn brother need to stop this! You want to tear everything apart! Well tear your own lives apart but leave us out of it." He slapped Alfred hard and grabbed him by his shirt. "I will not lose him because of you and your twat brother. Do you hear me?" He picked Alfred up to his feet by the front of his shirt and shook him. "Do you?" Alfred just stared at him, tears falling down his face. "Do you bloody understand!?" Alfred nodded. Arthur threw him to the ground and sent a blow to his side before turning to walk away.

* * *

_I'm sorry it took a little longer to update than usual. Brace yourselves. _


	12. Chapter 12

_Okay, I just proofread, so all the mistakes are gone now. Don't worry, it's a pretty cute chapter to counterbalance some of the sadness._

* * *

Arthur was lying on the couch reading a book when he heard the sounds of little feet running. Suddenly a three foot tall little blonde boy with piecing blue eyes ran into the room, his eyes shining happily. His giggling rang like music through room. Arthur smiled feeling his chest fill as he saw the little boy. The child tried to jump on the couch, but slipped back down. Arthur laughed, stood up and picked him up, cuddling him a moment before allowing him to lean back to stare him in the face.

"Mama, guess what?!" The small boy's voice was dripping with excitement.

"What, Alfie?"

"Um, um, um, I learned to count to five!" Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Oh goodness, that sounds like quite the achievement." He ruffled the boy's hair. "Let's hear it then. Go on."

"One. Two. Fwee. Four. Five." The child held up his hand with spread fingers and giggled with a proud smile on his face.

"My, my Alfie! You certainly are an intelligent child, barely four and able to count to five. Now that is impressive."

"And, and, and Papa teached me to count to fwee in Fwench!"

"He did! Wow." Arthur's face was soft with love as he listened to his little boy.

"Want to hear?"

"Oh yes, of course."

"Okay. Un, deux, trois." The little boy clapped his hand, a proud smile spread across his face.

"My, isn't that marvelous!"

"I knew you'd be pwoud of me. Maffew said no, but I said yes." He jumped up and hugged his arms tightly around his father.

"I am always proud of you, Alfie. I always will be. I promise. You are perfect. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you so much. I promise you'll always be everything to me." The little boy giggled again and laid against the British man. Arthur hugged him tightly and kissed his head. Alfie never felt safer than in the arms of his Mama.

"I love you too, Mama." Alfie laid his head against Arthur's shoulder, little arms hugging the man's neck, cuddling happily as Arthur swayed and sang "My Little Sunshine" softly to him. It was the song he always sang to him. Alfie loved it.

Alfred sat up in bed crying. The memory that had graced his sleep was now a haunting torment of how things used to be. His body shook. He had been angry at Arthur for a long time, angry at him for breaking that promise he'd made to the five year old Alfred who had just learned to count to five. He had tried to push his buttons just to annoy him and get back at him for the way Arthur had made him feel. Maybe he deserved Arthur's abuse.

"My Little Sunshine," he hated that song so much now. The song represented lies. Hearing it for the first time in years in his dream felt like someone was stabbing his chest. Matthew ran into the room laughing.

"Freddy, you have to see this video Papa showed me." He stopped and his face dropped. "Are you okay?"

"It was a dream."

"Oh…I hate nightmares. Here hold Kumajirou. That always makes me feel better." Alfred tossed it aside.

"Aren't you a little old to still carry around a stuff animal?" Alfred asked darkly.

"I don't know. I guess, but I still do. It's comforting." Matthew said as a matter of factly. Alfred shrugged and hugged the bear.

"It wasn't a nightmare by the way." Alfred mumbled closing his eyes as he rested his face on the stuffed animal.

"Oh? Then why are you crying?" Matthew sat next to his brother.

"It was a memory…from when we were little kids. I had learned to count to five and Papa had taught you to count to ten in French and I only knew it up to three. You said that wasn't cool and that Mama wouldn't think it was exciting and he wouldn't be proud, but I was going to show you. I ran to him where he was reading and he picked me up and I told him and he was so impressed. He told me I was intelligent and that he was proud of me and that he'd always be proud of me. He promised me that. He told me to never let anyone tell me I wasn't perfect. He told me he loved me. And then I cuddled with him in his arms while he sang that stupid song to me." Alfred wiped the tears away.

"I was always jealous of that song. He only sang it to you." Matthew was quiet for a minute. "And you know…counting to three in French isn't even hard. They're like the easiest numbers and you never did learn past three."

"French is hard." Alfred shrugged. "The way you have to make the sounds is weird anyway."

"Don't let Papa hear you. You know he wishes that you had learned French too."

"I know." Alfred sighed. It had been weird growing up because Matthew knew all the French nursery rhymes and Alfred knew the English ones, though often times they were just translations they recited them in the respective languages. "But I was too busy with my Mama to even worry about my Papa." He played with the bear's fur. "And it's a stupid song. The songs Papa sang to you were better. They were in French, but they sounded sweeter. Especially that one, your favorite one."

"Au clair de la lune?"  
"Sure." Alfred smiled softly.

"I loved that song." Matthew smiled. "Remember when we were little they would put us to bed together and they'd sing Frere Jacque to us in a round and Papa would sing it in French and Mama would sing it in English and it was just the most relaxing thing?"

"Yeah." Alfred sighed. "It was a million times better than that crap that I was given."

"Freddy." Alfred stood up and threw the bear at Matthew.

"It is a stupid song! It is!" He shouted. "It's the worst song in the entire world and I hate it!" Francis came in.

"Is everysing okay?" He asked. Alfred turned around

"Yeah. I was just telling Mattie that 'My Little Sunshine' was a stupid song, the worst song in the world." Francis put a hand over his heart and one over his mouth, his brow furrowed. "Oh not you too." Alfred rolled his eyes.

Francis walked in and hugged him tightly. "Come wis me! I have a really funny sing to show you." He chuckled and led Alfred and Matthew out of the room. "I sink zis will really cheer you up. It's really funny, right Mathieu?" Matthew smiled and nodded.

"You'll really like it, dude."

"It's zis song zat a screaming goat interrupts!" Francis laughed. He handed Alfred a laptop and pressed play. Alfred sighed at the annoying song when suddenly a goat screams. He fell backward into the couch laughing hysterically until tears were coming out of his eyes.

"I told you it was funny!" Matthew laughed sitting next to him. There was a knock at the door. Francis went to answer it. Gilbert was leaning against the door frame and lowered his mirror sunglasses when Francis had the door open.

"Francisy-pants!" He exclaimed jumping on him in a hug. The boys looked over and they both smiled. They knew if Gilbert was around, there'd be nothing but fun.

"Bonjour, mon ami!" Francis smiled happily. "What are you doing here?"

"Well…I was in the neighborhood and I thought to myself why is my awesome self alone on this awesome day when I am right near my awesome friend! So I thought I'd come see Francisy-face!" He walked in and threw his jacket in Francis' face. "Is that little not so awesome British man here?"

"No. It's my night with zee boys." Gilbert narrowed his eyes.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you again? I'll kill him."

"What? Why do you sink zat?"

"You have a night with the boys. That means, obviously, that there is trouble in your humble abode. If there is trouble, then awesome me will need to save little Francisy!" He waved to Matthew and Alfred who waved back and watched.

"Zere is no trouble. We just thought it would be good for zem if zey got a night with each of us alone. Zat's why I went out last night, remember?" Francis winked at him.

"I vaguely recall…there was a hooker pole. I remember you on a hooker pole." Matthew and Alfred busted out laughing.

"Gilbert! Zere are sings zat stay between us when we go out, okay?" Francis mumbled before leaning close, "But yes, zere was a pole and I rocked it."

"Man, I miss you! That used to be an every night occurrence! And then you got married and we never see you unless you're crying over unawesome people and I just feel sorry for you because you're not as awesome as me."

"You live in your brother's basement…" Francis reminded him.

"So? You know how awesome that is? I don't have to pay rent and he's with Italy, sooooo no competition with the ladies. Plus freaking Feliciano, did you know he's a chick magnet? Like he'll be all, 'Ciao bella!' and the ladies flock! But he and Ludwig don't want the ladies, so I'm swimming in them. I tell you, this this is why I love having gay men around me." He pushed Francis aside and went over to where the boys were. "Now you two, I don't know if you're like into the ladies or into the D, and I really don't care, but if you're into the ladies, get a gay best friend. Best wing man ever, 'kay? And don't use Francisy-pants here because he's competition and he probably has an edge on you because the ladies love him. Don't use a man who's into the ladies as your wingman, competition." Gilbert shrugged.

"Okay, Uncle Gilbert." Alfred laughed giving him a high five.

"Awesome!"

"Thank you for the tip." Matthew smiled.

"Francis, I want to show you the ladies, okay. Come here. Matthew, Alfie, I'd show you, but I'm sure you're too young and I don't want to get chased with a frying pan by your other daddy." Francis laughed and walked over.

"She is a very lovely woman, Gilbert."

"And then this one." Gilbert gave Francis a sly nod. Francis nodded back in an approving manner, honing. Gilbert hand Francis the phone. "Feel free to scroll, I'm going to give advice to the two youngsters here." Francis nodded. Gilbert forced the twins to let him in the middle of them.

"MON DIEU! Gilbert, what are you doing in this…?" Francis trailed off and shook his head, covering his mouth. Gilbert kesesed. He threw his arms around the boys.

"See boys, here's the thing that a lot of men get all wrong. They feel uncomfortable around guys who like the D. And you see, that's just…that's backwards because guys who like the V are competition. They can steal your lady. And ladies are not something to be stolen or won, so get a good wingman that will attract the ladies, but not be interested in them and who will keep your stupid V obsessed mind in check that these are in fact precious, precious human beings with the sweetest heart you'll ever get. She is too good for you, but dammit, they are going to try to show her that you're really not a bad guy. And that's how you get the ladies."

"But…you don't have a girlfriend, Uncle Gil." Alfred said confused.

"Well that…there is an awesome reason for it. I'm too awesome. I haven't' found a lady awesome enough to not be repelled by my awesomeness because I am awesome me."

"You said awesome like five times." Matthew said.

"Francis, what the hell?" Francis glanced at his friend.

"What?"

"When did these two grow up enough to think that they can give me this sass?"

"Oh, Gilbert, just because zey're old enough to use logic on you doesn't mean zey're sassy. But zey are sixteen and related to me, so you know zey're going to be some part sass."

"Okay, cool. So anyway, I told Tony to ditch old ball and chain for a little bestie time since Arthur isn't here. He should be here soon."

"Gilbert, I love you…"

"I know. I love me too. Everyone loves me really." He pointed at the boys defensively. "Everyone!" He hissed at them. They laughed.

"But tonight isn't really a good time. I mean zee boys and I are supposed to spend time togezer and…"

"Mattie, Alfie, are you really wanting to spend time with a boring old guy like your father OR do you want to spend some awesome with three awesome dudes tonight? We can stay here, but like….it'd be the more awesome choice."

"We love you, Uncle Gil." Alfie smiled. "I'm good with whatever."

"I'd like to spend time with Papa, but we never see Uncle Gilbert or Antonio." Matthew said glancing at Francis who had a huge smile on his face.

"Well zat settles it." Francis smiled.

"I swear if this turns into a night where the three of you do each other's hair and makeup, I'm taking pictures and video for blackmail." Alfred informed them.

"Oui, always wis zee joke telling." Francis smiled at him.

"I'm serious, Papa." Alfred smiled back.

"Well then get your camera, kid, because with Francisy-pants and Tony, that's what it always turns into, Antonio doing your dad's hair and your dad over here just cries about mean Mr. Kirkland."

"Gilbert…" Francis said in a warning tone.

"Okay, boys, you're old enough to understand that sometimes you can be in awesome love and not everything is awesome, so you get with some awesome friends and unload your unawesomeness so you can once again board the train of awesome. And let me just say, you probably already know this, but your parents have a lot of unawesomeness that needs to be let off so they can be awesome again."

"Zat was zee nicest way I've ever heard zat put." Francis said in amazement.

"You know what's really funny though? You boys know that Tony is with Italy's brother who is like a total douche and unawesome right? Turns out, are you listening?" They nodded. "He's totally awesome, like a hundred percent awesome. He has nothing unawesome about him. See he puts up these awesome walls to keep unawesome people from getting to the awesomeness that is Lovino Vargas. And nobody knows that but me and Tony and now you guys."

"So what you're saying is that Uncle Antonio invaded the walls." Alfred said.

"Ja." There was a knock at the door. "Tony!" Gilbert tried to jump up, but found himself stuck in the couch cushions.

"Haha, you're so old, you can't even get off the couch!" Alfred laughed.

"I don't think I like you at this age. What happened to awesome cute Alfie? This teenage Alfred is so unawesome." Alfred laughed even harder. Francis opened to door to find a smiling Antonio at the door.

"Hola, Francis! I brought wine and tomatoes!"

"Merci, mon ami." Francis hugged him and the two exchanged kisses on the cheeks before he took the some of the bags his friend was carrying in his arms. "Come in." Antonio walked in and when he saw Gilbert, he pounced on him.

"The awesome Gilbert!"

"Yes, it is I! Now help me get off this unawesome couch." Antonio pulled him to his feet as a laughing Alfred was making jokes about how he was old.

Alfred was really enjoying this. He'd forgotten about what had happened yesterday and earlier that morning. He understood why Francis was friends with these two. They were able to make anyone laugh no matter how sad they were. The thing was that they weren't even trying. They were just being themselves. He watched in happy amusement as they kept pulling Francis into the living room to get him to talk, but he wanted to finish cooking. Finally Antonio turned on some music and Gilbert started flashing the lights as he did a spastic dance.

"Dance with us!" Antonio said pulling Alfred and Matthew up. The boys glanced at each other and started to dance. Francis came into the room

"It's in the oven." He announced, looking confused. Antonio jumped on him.

"DANCE WITH ME FRANCISY-PANTELONES!" Matthew and Alfred cracked up. Francis shrugged and he and Antonio started dancing club style together. Matthew grabbed Alfred and leaved over to whisper in his ear.

"When is Mama getting back? If he walks in and sees this…." Matthew trailed off and wrapped his arms around himself. Alfred's stomach dropped. That was a good question. He looked back to where Antonio and Francis were dancing. They were facing each other while they danced and were so close. They were both laughing and moving their arms around the way he'd seen girls on TV dance with their friends in night clubs. It did look very intimate if you didn't know the situation. Antonio spun Francis around and they went back to dancing. Alfred felt so sick. He didn't know what to do, so he went upstairs. Matthew followed him.

"Alfred, why are you running away?" Matthew called.

"Why did you have to ruin it?" Alfred asked as he spun around. "It was fun and you had to bring him up."

"I…"

"So what if he's dancing with Antonio? They're both married and both so in love with who their married to. Girls dance like that with each other all the time. Why does Mama care so much if Papa has fun with his friends?"

"I don't know. Come on, Freddy, let's go back. It would be like ten times worse if we're not down there."

"I don't want him to get mad at me again."

"He won't. Come on." Alfred went back downstairs. The music had been turned off and Antonio was playing with Francis' hair as they were talking.

"You know Lovino is like…he's like the sweetest person." Antonio was telling Francis. "And Gilbert got to see it, so now you know I'm not lying."

"Well he still hates me."

"You're just not awesome enough to get on his level." Gilbert said throwing a handful of chips in his mouth.

"I don't sink it would be good to get on zat level." Francis laughed.

"He made me homemade chocolate yesterday." Antonio said with sparkling eyes.

"It was amazing, Fran, like awesome on steroid." Gilbert said. "You should try some. You know Feliciano's cooking? Well it must be an Italian family gift because Lovino cooks better."

"Gil told him that and that's how he was let into the walls. He likes doing things better than his brother."

"I don't think you're supposed to tell him that." Gilbert said.

"Oh…it's okay." Antonio smiled. "But he gave me another turtle too!"

"Zat is very sweet." Francis smiled.

"Si." Antonio's smile grew.

"Papa when is dinner going to be ready?" Alfred asked laying on the floor and looking at him. Francis, Gilbert and Antonio froze and exclaimed in unison.

"Mon dieu."

"Mein gott."

"Dios mio."

"What?" Alfred asked. He glanced down and mentally cursed himself. His shirt had pulled up to reveal his torso which had the fresh bruises all over. He pulled his shirt down quickly.

"Mijo, what happened?" Antonio asked.

"Oh nothing. I was just walking home from the gas station and some guys who don't like me much decided to jump me." Alfred lied.

"Who would do something like that?" Antonio asked.

"You're too awesome for that." Gilbert said. "I'll teach you to fight."

Francis was silent, his hand to his mouth. He didn't believe Alfred. Alfred never had problems with kids in the neighborhood. He was also very strong. He would have said something. He thought about how he had been acting. He had said that Arthur didn't love him anymore. Could this be why? Did Arthur…? No. Arthur would never, could never hurt Alfred.

"Papa, but when is it going to be ready?" Alfred snapped Francis from his thoughts. Francis gave him a smiled.

"I would say in ten minutes."

"Okay, cool. I'm starving."


	13. Chapter 13

The boys had gone to bed. Antonio and Gilbert had gone home. Francis stood in the kitchen with a bottle of wine and kept pouring glasses. He could not get the image of those bruises out of his head. Why had Alfred lied about them? Why were they only on certain parts of his body? It didn't make sense. Alfred had been acting weird especially around Arthur since the night before. He noticed if Arthur was brought up, he would get tense. Francis didn't know what to do. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Arthur come home. He jumped as he felt arms wrap around his waist.

"Oh, it's just you." He sighed.

"Yeah, it's just me." Arthur smiled. Francis gave him a weak smile and barely met his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Um…I don't know."

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked concerned brushing a stray strand of hair from Francis' face.

"Well Alfred was laying on zee floor and his shirt came up and he has bruises all over his torso. Like his stomach and his back and his sides. It looked pretty bad. He says zat some neighborhood kids beat him up, but I don't believe him. Neighborhood kids wouldn't be careful enough to not get his face. And Alfred isn't a passive kid. He's strong and he wouldn't let someone do zat." Francis rubbed his eyes.

"That's horrible. Is he okay?" Arthur asked trying to keep the sick feeling in his stomach at bay.

"I just wish he'd tell me zee truth."

"Maybe he is." Arthur said nervously. He cursed himself when he heard the nerves in his voice. Francis had gone to take another sip of wine and stopped right before he got to his mouth. He slowly set the glass down. He took a step toward Arthur.

"Arthur…what happened last night?" He could tell something wasn't right. Arthur was acting so nervous.

"What are you saying?" Arthur glared.

"I just want to know what happened, mon amour."

"I…I…" Arthur didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell him the truth, but he realized Francis already knew the truth. Arthur felt his knees buckle as he fell sobbing to the ground. "I'm so sorry, Francis…" He breathed through his sobs. Francis felt himself falling apart inside. He turned around and leaned on the counter. He downed the glass of wine and then took the entire bottle and downed the rest. He dropped to his knees in front of Arthur.

"What happened?"

"I…I was just so hurt and mad and I…" Arthur shook his head. "I can't."

"Arthur, merde, tell me zee truth!" Francis shook him by the shoulders as tears poured down his cheeks.

"I was just so angry and I hit him and then I went upstairs and I was so upset and I couldn't think or breathe or anything, so I started drinking. I got a little buzzed and my mind just started getting mad and saying things and I came back. I didn't even realize it until after I had done it. He's been making me mad for so long." Francis took Arthur's face in his hands.

"Is zat zee only time?"

"Yes." Arthur felt the knot grow in his stomach.

"Merde, Arthur!" Francis shook his head. "Why did you do zat?"

"I don't know!" He sobbed. "I don't know why I did it. I was mad, okay? Mad and hurt."

"What did he tell you?"

"Nothing."

"WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?" Francis yelled through his tears.

"I can't tell you, Francis." Arthur tried to touch him, but Francis slapped his hand away from him.

"Don't you fucking touch me." Francis hissed coolly before standing up. "You want to take out your frustrations, Arthur? You're supposed to call me!" Francis fell against the wall. "You don't hit him. YOU DON'T HIT EIZER OF ZEM!"

"I'm so sorry…" Arthur choked through his tears. Francis glared at the living room as silent tears ran down his face.

"It was only once?" He asked. Arthur nodded.

"I promise, I swear I won't do it again."

"Do you swear on us zat you won't do it again?" Francis asked after an all too long silence. Arthur was so scared. He knew he would probably do it again, but if he said no, then Francis would surely leave.

"I swear." He choked out.

"Get up." Francis commanded. "Go get yourself cleaned up." Arthur nodded.

"And Arthur?" He looked at him, tears still pouring down the Frenchman's face. "If you so much as say somesing to eizer one of zem zat causes zem any pain, it's over." Arthur felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. Those brats better not say anything to Francis.

"I understand." He sniffled before trying to hug Francis. Francis pushed him away from him.

"I said don't touch me." Francis walked away from him and went upstairs. Arthur fell to his knees again, new sobs escaping him. What had those brats done? He knew they were out to destroy his relationship. He'd have to be more careful.

* * *

Francis went into Alfred's room and walked over to the bed. "Alfie, I want to look at zose bruises, okay?" He said softly, shaking the boy. Alfred opened his eyes and groaned.

"Fine, but I'm still gonna sleep." He pulled off his shirt without fully waking up. Francis clicked on the lamp and braced himself to see the extent of what Arthur had done. He fought back the tears as he looked at the blue and purple marks that littered his torso. He sat on the bed and touched one slightly. Alfred whimpered and sat up.

"Don't touch it!" He said. "They hurt."

"Alfie, I'm so sorry, bébé." He hugged and started crying.

"What? Dude, Papa, it's okay. "Alfred was so confused by his father's reaction.

"It's not going to happen again. I promise."

"Papa, it's cool. You didn't know it would hurt me. You were trying to make sure I was okay." Alfred gave him a smile.

"He knows." Alfred tensed at Arthur's voice. He saw the man standing in the doorway with crossed arms.

"Go away, Arthur." Francis whispered.

"No. Alfred, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He smiled and went to brush back Alfred's hair. Francis slapped his hand away.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Arthur was shocked by Francis' outburst. "Never touch him. Never touch eizer of zem. And don't touch me unless I touch you first. Now get out." Francis was glaring daggers into the man. Arthur backed out of the room slowly. He could hear Alfred start crying as Francis tried to calm him down and comfort him. Arthur recognized the song Francis used to sing to Matthew.

Francis held Alfred as he sobbed into him. His heart was breaking. He was not used to seeing Alfred like this. He was clinging to his shirt. "I'm sorry." Francis kept whispering. Alfred pushed him away.

"Papa, stop apologizing! Please! You didn't do this." Alfred wiped his face. He was so relieved that Francis knew. Three times was enough. The verbal attacks he'd endured for the past five years had destroyed his mental frame. The physical just caused him to crumble. He hated being so vulnerable, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't put his walls back up. He couldn't just start joking around again.

"I'm going to go check on Mathieu. Alfie, mon cher, tell me if anysing else happens. I promise I'm on your side." He hugged him again.

"But you love Mama." Francis stopped at the door and turned face him with a sad smile.

"I do. I love him so much, but I'm your dad. I have to protect you before anysing else. I have to put you before my own happiness. And zat is why I love about being a fazer, selflessness. It's razer humbling." He gave him a reassuring smile. "Good night, Alfie."

Francis went to check on Matthew who was sitting in bed reading. He looked up and smiled at Francis. "Salut."

"Salut, Papa." Francis smiled. He sat down on the bed and began to speak to the boy in French.

"_Are you okay?"_

"Oui. Quoi?"

_"Are you sure?"_

"Oui." Matthew smiled at him. The look on his father's face made Matthew want to say more. "_I heard you and Mama fighting. It woke me up. I've been reading."_

_ "I'm sorry."_

_ "It's okay. What's wrong? I heard Alfred crying and I heard you yell at Mama."_

_ "Do you know what's been going on?"_ Matthew's eyes got wide.

_ "With Alfred?" _Francis nodded. "Oui." Matthew's eyes fell to his blankets.

"_Did he do anything to you? Be honest with me, Mathieu. I have can't take anymore lies right now."_

_ "Just the usual stuff."_

_ "The usual? What does he do?"_ Francis was shocked. He had never seen or heard Arthur do anything to Matthew. He was used to hearing Arthur criticize Alfred and give him disapproving glances, but Mattie? His Mattie? The Mattie that never tried to provoke any kind of reaction? Matthew realizing Francis had no idea froze. He couldn't breathe. What had he done? "_Mathieu, what does he do to you?"_

The tone in his voice scared Matthew. He sounded like he was about to break either from anger or pain, he wasn't sure. He was so scared to say anything. He didn't want to see his father broken.

_"Mathieu, tell me now."_ He was trying so hard to keep his voice steady. He was started to shake. He took Matthew's hands. "_Mathieu, I need you to tell me right now. Please, please tell me_." He was blinking back tears.

_"Nothing, Papa. Really. It's nothing._" He smiled at him.

"Merde, Mathieu!" He rubbed his face roughly. "_Tell me!"_

_ "He just tells me I'm in his way and blames me for things and sometimes he pushes me. Nothing. Just that."_ Francis was still. He met Matthew's violet eyes.

"Promesse?" Matthew nodded.

"Oui, Papa."

"_Nothing else?"_

"Rien." Francis hugged him tightly.

"Merci, Mathieu."

_"Papa why are you asking?"_

_ "I knew Alfred was lying, so I asked your dad about it. He told me everything. I just needed to know because I need it to stop. Is that okay? I just want to see if things get better and if they don't, I promise I'll take you boys and you'll be safe. I needed to know everything. Tell me everything. Don't leave anything out, okay? You and your brother are my priority."_

_ "You can't leave him, Papa. I know how much you love him. If you think we need to be away from him, we can go on our own. But we're fine. Honestly."_

_ "No, that is not how this works. I am your dad and that means that I protect you. I make sure you are okay. I don't abandon you. I don't send you away. I love you so much, Mathieu."_ Francis hugged him tighter and kissed his cheek.

"Je t'aime."

"_So you promise you'll tell me?"_ Matthew nodded. Francis kissed his forehead and smiled at him through teary eyes. "Bonne nuit."

"Bonne nuit." Matthew watched as his father left the room. His stomach was in knots. He couldn't do this. He ran to the bathroom and pulled out this blade.

* * *

Francis entered his room and found a crying Arthur sitting on the edge of the bed. "Francis…" Francis held his hand up.

"You messed wis Mathieu too?" Arthur's blood boiled. That little brat!

"No!"

"He told me zat you did. You like to tell him he's in zee way and zat it's his fault. Tell me Arthur, did you tell him it was his fault you beat his brozer?"

"No." Arthur stared at the ground.

"Did you tell him it was his fault zat we fight? Or when Alfred had the panic attack, did you tell him zen too?"

"No!"

"I can't…I can't believe you are doing zis and I didn't notice. What is wrong wis me zat I didn't notice? What zee hell is wrong wis me?" Francis held two fists to the sides of his head.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you. I…I won't do it anymore. I need to work on my anger. I'll be better."

"You better me, mon amour. Because I love you too much to lose you."

"You don't have to lose me. Just choose me."

"In zis situation, Arthur, I choose zem." Francis curled up on the bed. The two men cried themselves to sleep next to each that night.


	14. Chapter 14

Alfred sat huddled on the bathroom floor, eyes tired and dry. He watched his brother leaning against the door make cuts over and over in his arm. The marks were haphazard and crisscrossed in every which way. Some were deeper than others. The velvety beads of blood would run to the surface before pouring down the sides in streams of velvet turned wine.

Papa was leaving again tonight for round two of make Arthur father of the year. He had seemed so reluctant after the boys had gotten so tense. He tried talk to them, but they couldn't tell him the truth. Arthur was still at it. He was more careful. The anxiety they felt to be left with him was almost unbearable. They knew Francis loved Arthur deeply and it would hurt him to know the truth. They couldn't hurt him.

"Does it hurt?" Alfred asked softly. Matthew looked up at him.

"Not really." Matthew mumbled as he continued. "Does it hurt for you?"

"Yeah." His voice was barely a whisper. Matthew looked at his younger brother and bit the inside of his lip as he made a cut deeper still. Alfred shifted so that he was laying his head against the cool bathtub, his cheek resting on the ledge. "Like my throat burns and my stomach feels like I've been doing a million sit ups and my whole body just aches." He closed his eyes. "I want it to stop."

Matthew stood up and put the razor in its hiding place before attending to the cuts. He ran them under the water and inhaled sharply as the water stung the broken skin. He dried his arms and wrapped them in gauze before he sat next to his brother and hugged him. Alfred was getting worse. He could tell that much. It scared him to death. Alfred pushed Matthew away as another wretch escaped his gut. Matthew turned away as his brother puked. He was a sobbing mess when it was done and he sobbed into Matthew's chest. Matthew wondered how it had become involuntary. The fact that his body was just rejecting food made Matthew realize that Alfred had been doing this for so long he'd trained his stomach to not accept food.  
"Mattie?" Alfred whimpered.

"Can we please tell Papa?"

"I don't know, Freddy."

"I'm scared." Alfred gasped.

"What's scaring you?"

"I can't control any of it anymore." He whispered. "I can't even control if I eat or not. I can't control it. What happens if I ever get to get treatment? My stomach won't hold it." Matthew tightened his hug on his brother. "And I'm not making myself do this. Mattie, I taste blood."

"The doctors and nurses will know what to do."

"Can we please tell him? I need…I need help." He pushed him back again and this time it wasn't vomit; it was blood. Matthew stared with wide eyes. "Now can we tell him?" Alfred choked as more blood was ejected from his body.

* * *

Francis hummed softly as he read his book. He sipped his coffee and smiled at the taste before taking a bite of his pastry. His mind kept wandering to everything going on with Arthur, so he had to keep pulling his mind back to his book.

"P-papa?" He looked up and saw Alfred hugging his stomach with what looked to be blood coming from his mouth. He wiped it off and leaned against the wall to catch his breath.

"Mon deiu…" Francis jumped up and went to his son. "Alfie, are you okay?"

"No. Papa…help me."

"Ar-." Alfred covered his mouth.

"Don't…don't call him."

"What is going on?"

"I'm okay. Well I'm not okay, but I'm okay." Alfred forced a smile through his tears. "I need you to help me get help."

"What?" Francis was so scared. "Anything you need, but tell me what's going on." Matthew appeared.

"Papa, we need you get us away from him." Matthew said softly.

"What? Why?" He was so confused. Matthew upzipped his hoodie and closed his eyes as he let it slip to the ground so he could show Francis the scars all over his arms. He didn't want to see his face. Tears were falling down Matthew's cheeks. He heard a shuddering gasp and felt himself being pulled to Francis in a tight hug. Matthew and Alfred didn't want Arthur to know what was being said, so they had planned for Matthew to tell Francis everything.

_"He scares us so much, Papa. He hasn't stopped. It's gotten worse. Freddy needs a hospital. I'll tell you everything on the way."_

_ "What is going on?" _Francis asked grabbing his keys. He and Matthew guided Alfred to the car.

_"Mathieu, I need you to wait until we get to the hospital before you tell me anything. I need to drive."_

"Oui." Matthew said softly as he climbed in the back with his brother. Alfred was shaky and pale. Matthew hugged him and tried to get him to calm down.

They pulled up to the hospital five minutes later and helped him out. A nurse ran out with a wheelchair and he was immediately taken back as he vomited another stomach full of blood. Francis filled out the paperwork quickly. Afterward Francis and Matthew were told to wait in the waiting room. Francis hugged Matthew to him as they waited.

"Mr. Bonnefoy?" A doctor came out.

"Yes?"

"I'm Dr. Seney. I am helping on your son's case. He's not in good shape at all. His electrolytes are very off balance which can cause severe cardiac issues including cardiac arrest. We're replenishing those right now. We suspect that he has at least one ruptured ulcer. Ulcers are commonly seen in individuals with bulimia. We need to know where exactly the ulcer is and how bad the bleeding is, so we're going to need your consent to perform an endoscopy and also we suspect a possible hernia. What I'd like to do is open him up and do some exploratory surgery just to make sure everything is okay. From the bleeding, this is a bad ulcer."

"Mon dieu. Yes. Okay. Do what you need to do."

"Your son also requires a blood transfusion."

"Okay." The doctor went over the forms and had Francis sign all of them. Matthew watched as his father shakily listened to the doctor and signed the forms.

"You are welcome to come back to see him before we take him in." Francis nodded and followed the doctor pulling Matthew behind him. He had wires connected to him for a heart monitor and two IV sites. A tube had been inserted through his nose.

"What's that for?" Matthew asked curiously.

"It's to relieve the pressure and get rid of some of the blood too keep him from vomiting." The nurse explained. Alfred had tears in his eyes. Francis took his hand and kissed his forehead.

"You'll be okay, mon cher." He said softly.

"I'm scared, Papa." Alfred said as the tears fell.

"Mattie and I will be right here waiting for you. Zee doctors will take great care of you." Francis brushed back Alfred's hair. "We'll be here when you wake up."

"You'll do great, bro. And you better get through all this and get better so I can kick your butt in video games." Matthew smiled.

"In your dreams, Mattie. You'll never beat me." The anesthesiologist let them know they were going to put him under.

"J'taime." Francis said kissing Alfred forehead one last time before the blue eye fluttered shut. He kissed his hand and guided Matthew as they followed a tech to the surgical waiting room. He took him to the back of the room away from the other two people who were there.

_"So tell me the whole story."_ Francis said softly.

_ "I get so anxious and I do this."_ He lifted his arms._ "It's the only thing that helps. I can stop. I have stopped, but I started again when things got bad. Alfred started stress eating to deal with all the criticism starting when we were ten. When Mama started talking about that too, Alfie started throwing it up because he was scared to get fat and Mama hate him for it. It turned into bulimia from there. He got to the point where he'd be overridden with anxiety if he did do it. That's what he told Mama the first night. Mama just laughed at him. That really messed Alfred up. He's been mad at Mama for a long time, but he never showed it or that he was hurting until that night everyone saw him have a panic attack. He just didn't have the strength to put up the walls again."_ Matthew stared at his red Converse.

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

_ "He made me swear."_

_ "Shit, Mathieu, I'm so sorry." _He took his son in his arms and hugged him. His phone rang. It was Arthur. Francis rejected the call. It went on like this ever two minutes until finally Francis answered.

"What?" He hissed.

"Where are you?"

"It's not your business."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Tell me where you are."

"No."

"Where are the bloody hell are you?"

"I'm at a hospital. Alfred is getting surgery thanks to you." He hung up and looked at Matthew. "I miss having a phone you could slam down. Zese new phones are too passive." Matthew gave him a smile. Francis sighed as his phone rang again. "He's not going to leave me alone. I'm going to go outside. Call me if you need anysing. I'll hang up on him. I don't care."

Matthew nodded and watched Francis go outside. He could see him through the window screaming at Arthur through tears. Despite watching them fight almost his entire life, this time it tore him apart. Francis was grabbed at his hair and was using violent hand gestures. He watched with teary eyes and Francis crouched down and held his face in one hand. He was literally watching his parents' marriage disintegrate before his very eyes. He wanted to look away. He wanted to go back and make Alfred get better without any of this. He watched as Francis stood back up calmly and leaned against the wall, looking exhausted. He made out the words, "Fuck you." Then he jumped as Francis violent threw his phone at the wall and kicked it several times before collapsing in sobs.

* * *

"Francis, what the hell is wrong with you?" The British voice demanded as Francis put the phone to his ear.

"What is wrong me? What about what is wrong with you? You promised me! YOU FUCKING SWORE ON OUR MARRIAGE ZAT YOU WEREN'T GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!" Francis felt the sobs pushing their way up. "YOU CHOSE TO HURT ZEM EVEN MORE! YOU CHOSE AGAINST US! I LOVED YOU, ARTHUR!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF THOSE BRATS MESS WITH ME!"

"Do you not even care zat Alfred has to get surgery?"

"I didn't him that hard."

"NOT WIS YOUR FISTS! YOU DID ZIS WIS YOUR WORDS!"

"Sticks and stones, Francis. Now when are you going to be a good husband and come home and apologize for yelling at me?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? MERDE!" Francis was about to lose it. _"YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! ARE YOU SERIOUS? DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT CARE THAT OUR SON COULD DIE? DO YOU NOT CARE THAT HE IS LAYING ON A SURGICAL GOURNEY RIGHT NOW AS DOCTORS HAVE THEIR HANDS INSIDE HIM? DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS THROWING UP BLOOD? DO YOU NOT CARE THAT YOUR COMMENTS AND CRITICISM DROVE HIM TO BULIMIA TO PLEASE YOU? DO YOU EVEN CARE THAT MATTIE TURNED HIS ARMS INTO A BUTCHER SHOP? DO YOU NOT CARE THAT YOU ARE DESTROYING THIS FAMILY?"_

"Francis, you should know by now that I don't speak French." Francis was sobbing at this point.

"Fuck you, I want a divorce." And with that, Francis threw the phone against the wall. It was done. It was over. He had lost the love of his life. He had lost the one person who he loved most. He had just lost his best friend. He couldn't take the crippling pain that gripped his heart. He couldn't breathe as he sobbed.

* * *

_Okay guys. Two more chapters left. Well really one and then the epilogue. Please comment._


	15. Chapter 15

After two weeks of being in the cardiac ICU, Alfred was transferred to a regular floor and was now able to see Matthew and Francis at any time. He felt better with them there. He was sitting in the bed playing cards with his brother. Francis was outside the room on the phone. "Mattie?" Alfred asked softly. Matthew looked up with kind violet eyes and a soft smile.

"Yeah?"

"Why is Papa always on the phone? This is my first day out of the ICU and he's been here two hours and has been on the phone for at least an hour." Matthew dropped his eyes and went back the card game.

"Mattie, seriously, what's going on?"

"He doesn't want me to say anything. I promised. He wants to wait until you're well again." Matthew said slowly. Alfred sighed and went back to their game.

"Matthew?" Alfred questioned again a few moments later.

"Hm?"

"Is Mama not coming to see me because I'm gross now?"

"What?" Alfred closed his eyes to keep the tears away and hugged a pillow to his chest, wincing a little since his abdomen was still sore from the surgeries. He'd had a total of three to repair all the damage. They had found two hernias caused from the constant contraction of the abdominal muscles, four ulcers located in his stomach and esophagus and a portion of his intestines and folded into itself from the pressure of the frequent purging.

"They're giving me this." He motioned to the central line that was infusing nutrition to his body. He had almost worked back up to a full diet, but the doctor wanted him to still have the supplemental nutrition to ensure he continue to improve in his medical condition. "I can't do anything here to stop it. They won't let me." He wiped away the tears from his eye with the back of a hand. "It's full of sugar, so I'm gaining weight and that means that Mama thinks I'm gross. Tell me the truth Mattie. Is that why he hasn't come to see me?"

Matthew stared at Alfred. So much of their life Alfred had always acted like he was older than Matthew and many times Matthew forgot he was actually older. Lately since Alfred had been in the hospital, he didn't even feel like they were twins. In fact it felt like he was years older than Alfred. He figured this is what they meant by regression as a coping mechanism. Alfred seemed so much younger. Matthew fought back the tears that were threatening to flood his eyes.

"You want to see him after everything he did?" Matthew asked. Alfred nodded.

"He's still my Mama. I still love him. Why doesn't he love me, Matthew? I tried so hard. I can't…I can't help it that they won't let me here." He collapsed into sobs. Matthew didn't know what to do.

"Freddy, Freddy, don't cry! Mama doesn't think you're gross. He's…he's not allowed to see you." Matthew knew he wasn't supposed to say anything about the terms of the divorce to Alfred. He wasn't even allowed to tell his brother there was going to be a divorce, but he felt it necessary.

"Why?" Alfred asked softly through his tears.

"I'm not supposed to say."

"You're lying to me. You're just trying to protect me!" Alfred buried his face in the pillow and cried. Matthew couldn't take it. He didn't want to go against Papa's wishes, but his brother was a mess.

"I'll be right back, Freddy, okay?" He hugged his brother and hurried out of the room to find Francis. He found him in a family room on the phone with the lawyer. He still hadn't gotten used to seeing his father look like this. His usually perfect hair was swept back in a mess of a bun. His usual stylish and flawlessly dressed clothing was haphazard and wrinkled from sleeping on the cot in Alfred's hospital room. He looked older as the exhaustion and pain showed all over his face. He hid it around Alfred, but he could tell everything was exhausting him.

"Non, I told you I don't want anysing. I just want zee boys. He can keep everysing else. I just don't want him allowed to even talk to zem…Oui, I know when zey turn eighteen I don't have a say. Why is zat so hard to understand?" Francis asked sleepily. Matthew sat down next to him. Francis gave him a forced smiled and put an arm around him.

_"Papa, he needs you."_ Matthew said softly. Francis nodded.

"Pierre, I have to go." He hung up and let out a sigh before rubbing his hands over his face. He stood up. Matthew hesitated.

_"Papa, he needs you to tell him. He thinks…he thinks the reason Arthur hasn't come to see him is because he's gaining weight. He wants to see him. I think he needs to see him."_ Francis shook his head, shaking.

_"Arthur is not going to see him. He does not deserve to see him!"_

_"Maybe he doesn't, but Freddy deserves to know that it's not because he's gained weight. He deserves peace of mind. I know you're trying to protect him, but he needs to see him."_ Francis nodded. He didn't think he could bear to see Arthur yet. He hadn't even gone to get their things from the house. He'd just bought a few pairs of clothes while they stayed at Antonio's house much to Lovino's dismay. He had been waiting to get that done when he could release all this pain, once Alfred was discharged to the treatment facility and he knew that Matthew wasn't hurting himself anymore. He had to think of his sons for now. It was making him sick, but he had to do it if what Matthew was saying was true.

"Oui." He composed himself a bit and fixed his clothes before walking with Matthew to Alfred's room.

They found Alfred lying on his side in a fetal position crying silently. Matthew rushed to him and knelt beside him talking in a hushed soothing voice. Francis couldn't breathe. He couldn't do this much longer. He was going to implode if he wasn't able to get some rest. He just needed to sleep and cry and have some wine. He didn't have much left in him. He was so tired, so, so tired. The stress of the whole situation was tearing him apart and that was taking a toll on the man. He went to Alfred.

"Alfie, Alfie, mon cher, listen to me." He said softly smiling at the boy. "Don't you worry. Arthur is going to come see you tomorrow." Alfred looked at him.

"You mean it?"

"Yes."

"Can…Can I talk to him to make sure?" Alfred asked. Francis nodded.

"Just a minute. I'll be right back." Matthew stared at him.

Francis went back to the family room and let out a shuddering breath. He closed his eyes and dialed Arthur's number, though he'd deleted it from his contacts, he knew it by heart.

"Francis! I'm sorry. I miss you! Please don't do this! I beg you! Please." The English accented voice begged.

"Shut up." Francis growled.

"Francis…" The man's voice was shaking.

"I said shut up."

"Please…I love you so much."

"Will you shut up!" Francis exclaimed before calming himself down. He was about to breakdown. "Alfred needs to see you."

"W-what? He…he wants to see me?"

"He needs to see you. Zere's a difference." Francis closed his eyes as he heard Arthur let out a sob. "I said shut up."

"I'm sorry." Arthur whispered.

"He's in a very fragile mental state right now. He's acting like a small child quite often. Zee psychiatrist said it's a coping mechanism. Zat's probably why he needs to see you because the two of you were so close when he was small." Francis felt the tears coming and he was too exhausted to stop them. "I'm going to allow you to see him tomorrow."

"Thank you." Arthur gushed. "I don't know what was wrong with me. I can't…I hate myself for what I did to him. I cannot make any excuses. I'm just..."

"What part of shut up don't you understand?" Francis snapped.

"Sorry."

"I am not interested in what you have to say. I'm not. I do not care." Francis heard the choked sob escape Arthur and he remained silent as his body shuddered. "Here is what is going to happen. You are going to come here at precisely 2pm. Do not be late. Do not be early. 2pm. You will not so much as look at Mathieu or me. You are here only to see Alfred. You will be kind to him. If you even say somesing remotely negative, I am srowing you out. You will tell him that you do not sink he's disgusting. You will tell him he needs to eat. You will tell him he needs to get better. You will not bring up what you did. You will apologize, but only saying zat you are sorry. If you touch him, it better be gentle. If he winces or anysing to indicate he doesn't want you to touch him, you will stop. You will back away from him. You are to leave at 3pm. No later unless Alfred asks for you to do so, but no later zan 4. Do you understand?"

"Francis…"

"I said do you understand. Yes or no."

"Yes." Arthur whispered.

"And you will look presentable and you will not cry. You will not act like you are in any kind of distress."

"I can't do that. I can't. I can't. I'm a mess. I can't do that now and I know I sure as hell can't if you are there."

"You can and you will. Will you grow up and act like a father? In case you don't remember, it was you who suggested we adopt when we did. I didn't protest it and I don't regret anysing except what zey had to go through. You did this. You will be an adult and fazer and be strong for your son."

"Will it make you stop hating me?"

"No, but I'm not zee one you should be concerned about." Francis wanted to hang up on the man so badly. "One more sing. He wants to talk to you. So pull yourself togezer."

"Wait…may I ask you a question? About Alfred?" Francis hugged himself to keep himself from falling apart.

"I suppose."

"What…what did he…what did they do?" Francis didn't want to relive the ordeal, but he figured Arthur should know exactly what he had caused.

"He came in to the hospital with a lot of bleeding from two perforated ulcers. He was vomiting up bright red blood. Um…he had a severe electrolyte imbalance due to zee constant vomiting and poor nutritional status, so he was having arrhyzmias. Zey were worried he was going to go into cardiac arrest because of zat and hypovolemic shock from the blood loss. He was severely dehydrated and a bit underweight. He had to get sree surgeries and an endoscopy. He was in the cardiac ICU for two weeks. Zey just moved him to zee floor today. He's worked up to a full diet, but he refuses to eat it. Zey have a central line him in to give him nutrition. He's gained some weight back. Zat's really messing him up. Zee psychiatrist made the final diagnosis as bulimia nervosa, anorexia nervosa, generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Zey're trying to get him medically stable before sending him to a treatment facility."

"Oh my god…" He heard Arthur start violently sobbing and couldn't help be feel a bit of satisfaction that the man was finally realizing what he had done.

"Congratulations, Arthur." Francis said coolly.

"How's Matthew?"

"You're not allowed to know anysing about him."

"Please, I just want to know if he's okay."

"Besides zee fact zat he has to watch his TWIN brozer go srough zis?"

"Yes." Francis tapped his mouth with his fingers. He didn't want to tell him anything about Matthew, but he need to have time to compose himself.

"He's okay. I had him to a psychiatrist too. He's okay. He doesn't have depression or anxiety or anysing like zat. Zey just said he has ineffective coping."

"It's so strange. Alfred always seemed so happy. He was always smiling and laughing and joking. Matthew always seemed more likely to have issues." Arthur sniffled.

"Zat's zee sing with mental illness. It's zee ones who never stop smiling zat you have to worry about. Zat's what zey told us." Francis stood up. "I'm going to give him zee phone." He was amazed at how much better he felt just by talking to Arthur. The realization crippled him even more. Arthur had always been his go to person when he needed to talk. Whether it was to take out his frustrations with, talk about other people or gossip or talking about nothing in particular, Arthur was who had always gone to even before they were friends. He took a few breaths to calm him down and keep the new tears from falling.

He walked in the room to see Alfred smiling as Matthew talked to him. It warmed his heart. "Alfie, it's Mama." Alfred looked at him with the now dull eyes and reached for the phone. When he was sure the conversation was going well, Francis sat down next to Matthew.

"Mon cher, _I am sorry. I need to sleep. Are you okay staying with him alone tonight? After he gets done talking to Arthur, I really need to go."_

_ "Of course, Papa. You need rest. I don't like seeing you like this."_

"Merci." He hugged Matthew to him and kissed his head.

_"Are you okay?"_ Matthew looked up at him. Francis tried to give him a smile, but he couldn't. It wasn't right that Matthew was worrying about him.

_"I am"_

_ "You can tell me the truth. You don't have to worry. I'm not going to get sick like Freddy."_

_ "It's my job to worry." _Francis let out a soft laugh. He watched Alfred talk to Arthur as he played with the IV tubing that was delivering his fluids.

"What?" Alfred stood up. "Stop lying to me! Why did you…? Why…" Alfred was starting to hyperventilate. Francis grabbed the phone away from him and Matthew went to comfort his brother.

"What zee hell did you say?" Francis snapped.

"I just told him he was still my little sunshine like I did when he was little."

"Mon dieu! What zee hell is wrong with you?"

"What? You said to act like he was little!"

"Do you have any idea what a trigger is?"

"No."

"Learn about zem before you get here." Then he hung up on Arthur. Alfred was calmed down when he looked over. Matthew was hugging him and talking to him about some video game. Francis hugged them both.

"Mathieu is going to stay with you, okay? I need to go. I'll be here first sing tomorrow morning." Alfred nodded.

"Okay." He whispered. As Francis left, he saw the nurses checking the dinner that had just arrived. He felt his stomach knot and hoped to God that Alfred would eat.

* * *

Alfred was leaning against Matthew as they watched Iron Man. The nurse came in and gave Alfred his medications including his antianxiety and antidepressant. About fifteen minutes later, a tech came in with a counselor, each with tray of food. They closed the door behind them. Matthew felt Alfred tense and grab his arm tightly. "Alfred, it's time for you to eat." The counselor said smiling at him. He shook his head.

"I can't." He choked out.

"You can." He shook his head violently, tears filling his eyes.

"I can't. Please, I don't want to."

"Why don't you want to eat?"

"I can't." She looked him.

"What is you're afraid of?" She asked him softly.

"I…I don't…I don't want to gain weight."

"Why is that?"

"I'll be gross. I'll be fat and then Mama won't love me and he's already mad at me. He already doesn't like me. I have to be perfect, so he can love me again." Matthew saw a look of shock flash on her face for less than a second before she took Alfred's hand.

"Alfred, you're forty pounds underweight."

"No. I'm too fat." He whispered. She looked at him and let out a breath.

"We need you to eat just a little bit. You don't have to eat it all, but we need you to eat. If you eat, you'll get stronger. You'll be strong enough to leave the hospital and go to the treatment facility and you'll get better. You want to get better. You told me that." Alfred shook his head through his tears. "Your brother is going to eat." She said.

"He needs to eat. I heard his stomach growl a little while ago."

"So do you."

"No, I don't."

"You need to eat, Alfred. You skipped breakfast and lunch. You need to eat dinner. Remember we had talked today and you promised that you would eat your dinner if I allowed you to not eat earlier."

"No! Just stop! I can't! I can't do that." He hugged his knees and started crying and breathing rapidly.

"Freddy…" Matthew knew the woman was never going to get him to eat. "Freddy, please eat. I can eat with you." Alfred looked at him and then at the blanket. "We'll eat together. We're twins, right?" Alfred nodded. "And we look the same for the most part, right? We just have different eyes and shade of hair." He nodded again. "We wear each other's clothes. Actually your newer clothes are too small on me, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"So do you think that I look fat, average or thin?"

"Thin." Alfred said softly. The counselor was watching in amazement.

"If I'm thin and your clothes are too small on me, that means you're thinner than me. That's the logical thing, right?" Alfred hesitated before nodding. "Then will you eat with me?" Alfred's breathing and calmed and his tears had stopped. "You know I don't like to eat by myself and I'm really hungry." Matthew nudged. "Remember how we always eat together? All those times we snuck out to go have lunch just the two of us. Eating together is our thing. So what do you say? Will you eat dinner with me?"

"Okay, Mattie." Matthew smiled and took the lids off their tray. He took a bite of food and looked at Alfred.

"It's really good. I think you'll like it." Alfred stared at the food. He could feel the anxiety building, but it wasn't as strongly as before. The food did look and smell good. "Go on, try it." Matthew smiled. Alfred picked up his fork and stabbed one of the vegetables. He looked back at his brother who nodded with a smile. He slowly raised the fork to his mouth. He let out a shaky breath before opening his mouth and eating.

It was the first real solid food he had eaten in two weeks and Matthew wanted to cry from happiness. They'd tried to get Alfred to eat broth first and when he refused, a nurse suggested that Matthew eat with him. It had taken awhile, but they worked up the diets. Alfred never ate everything, but he ate the percent that they doctors wanted him at with patience and Matthew's help. Matthew knew how to get his brother to eat. This time had been harder than before because the food was real food. Matthew ate silently as he watched out of the corner of his eye as his brother ate slowly, tears streaming down his face. The counselor watched with a smile. Matthew was shocked that his brother had eaten the whole plate.

"You did really well, Alfred." The counselor smiled. Alfred wouldn't look at her.

Alfred hugged his knees again as the tears streamed down his face. He hated this. He needed to go to the bathroom and get rid of it. He needed to stop all of this. He had eaten too much. He was going to get fat and then Arthur wouldn't come to see him. That's why Mama had hit him. He was too fat. He was gross. "I have to go to the bathroom." He said softly.

"No. You can't go to the bathroom right now." The therapist said firmly.

"I have to. I have to pee."

"We can give you this to go in." She gestured for a plastic container on the side of the bed with a lid and markings for measuring volume.

"No, I want to go in the bathroom."

"You can't do that, Alfred."

"Just let me go to the bathroom." He said sobbing. Matthew hugged his brother. He couldn't stand this, but he knew it was the only way for his brother to get better. He was worried about when he went to the treatment facility. How were they going to get him to eat there? The only way he'd eat here was with Matthew. He supposed he could go visit during meals, but the first month the facility wouldn't allow visitors. He hoped the facility was as good as they claimed.

Matthew spent the next hour trying to calm his brother down as he fought to let the counselor let him go to the bathroom. Finally, Alfred had given up. He sat there, resting his head on his brother's shoulder. Matthew turned Iron Man back on. They watched it and Alfred fell asleep. The counselor smiled at Matthew.

"You'd make an excellent counselor." She noted.

"No. He's just my twin brother. I know what to do."

"Well that good news is that you got him to eat and fall asleep, so we know this meal will be fully digested. Good work. Thank you for your help." Matthew nodded at her and watched as she left.

* * *

_Okay guys, so I may have accidentally told y'all the wrong thing. There will be a few more chapters than planned. Probably two more and then the epilogue. Let me know what you think! :)_

___***note, I originally planned this differently, so I've gone back and changed the first few chapters with names, but nothing else changed, to make it a human AU. As for the World Meeting, it was changed to a party at Antonio's house and he does monthly service projects with his friends and he discussed doing trash clean up for that month, so that whole part is still in there.***_


	16. Chapter 16

_So I saw that there are more views on the last chapter than chapter 14, so be sure you read that before 15._

_I apologize that this chapter is so long. Enjoy!_

* * *

Francis sat on Antonio's couch, tears falling as he sipping wine by the cup. Antonio came down the stairs. "Buenas días, amigo." Antonio smiled.

"Bonjour." Francis mumbled.

"You're drinking already? It's barely eight."

"So?" He asked.

"Did you take a shower?"

"No."

"Chingao, Francis, give me that." He took the bottle from him and watched helplessly as his friend just cried silent tears. He was too tired to do anything else. "You know you're supposed to drive to the hospital and see the boys. You can't go drunk!"

"You can't get drunk on wine, Tony." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh really? Because you can. Francis, I'm not letting you do this anymore. Get up. ¡Vámonos!" He pulled up him off the couch.

"I can't do zis anymore, Tony." Francis said. "I can't. I just…I want to tell Arthur not to come and just let Mattie know I need sleep." He fell back down. Antonio stared at him.

"You're not sleeping."

"I can't sleep! Zat's zee problem! I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anysing, but drink wine and cry. I'm exhausted. I can't." Francis broke down and sobbed into his hands.

"Look, Lovino went to go stay with his brother which means he's around Ludwig who hates. That's how bad this has gotten. Now you're going to get you culo up and take a shower. I'm calling Gilbert. You need to stop crying over that puta."

"Antonio, you don't understand. I hate myself."

"¿Que?" Antonio sat next to his friend. He had known him his whole life and never once had ever heard than man even utter one word that wasn't about how fabulous or perfect he was. It was the theme in their trio of friends. They all were very happy with themselves.

"How could I let zis happen? How could I not see it? It was happening right in front of me and I didn't notice it. And zen I did and I sought we could work it out because he said it only happened once. But it happened again and again and again. And now Alfred's lying in zee hospital and he's all kinds of sick and it's my fault." He sobbed into Antonio's chest. "I spent twenty years of my life married to him. I spent twenty five years of my life wis him. I have known him for all but eight years of my life, friends since sixteen and I've been in love wis him since I was seventeen. And zis…zis it what it all comes down to. So much of my life invested in somesing zat was destroyed so easily and he doesn't even care!"

"Francis, it's not your fault. He hid it very well. The boys didn't want to hurt you. That's why they didn't say anything. They hid it too. How were you supposed to stop something that you didn't even know was happening? And you waited two days after you found out because you believed so much in your family being able to make it. You did what you thought was best. The fact that you told both of the boys to let you know if something happened again, that you were on their side…that was a really big move."

"I should have just got our sings and left." Francis said monotonously.

"Those two days didn't change anything, Francis. Don't you dare blame yourself or think that if you had left right then that things would be different because Alfred would still have had his psychological issues and Matthew would still be hiding his brother's secret which probably means that he would have still been cutting and he probably would because you'd be a mess. You're holding yourself together really well in front of them, but it's killing you. You need to be well for them. Now go get showered and I'll make you some breakfast and you will take a nap before you go to the hospital. You need to take care of yourself if you're going to take care of your sons." Francis nodded and got up slowly.

Antonio watched him walk almost zombie like up the stairs. He hated seeing his friend in so much pain. He knew he needed Gilbert to come help him fix their friend.

As Francis was getting undressed for his shower his phone rang. "Allô?"

"Mr. Bonnefoy?"

"Oui."

"This is Tanya Maya from Heart Memorial. I'm your son's therapist."

"Oh, oui, of course."

"I am calling because I think we can get Alfred to eat a little better if he had something he really liked. Would you mind bringing him something for lunch?"

"I know just zee sing."

"Great. Well he did eat all of his dinner last night thanks to your other son. Breakfast this morning was really hard. He barely ate anything even with his brother's attempts to get him to eat. He said he didn't like the food. That's why I'm thinking if we try to give him his favorite food, he'd be a lot more willing to eat."

"I hope zis works. I just want him to get well, so if zere is anysing zat I can do, please just let me know.

"Mr. Bonnefoy?"

"You can call me Francis."

"Francis, I've noticed that you're a bit strung out. Is there anything you'd like to talk about? I know this is a very difficult situation."

"You know, I'm actually okay."

"Francis, if you're not taking care of yourself, you can't help Alfred. I know you love your sons and you want to help them, but you need to take care of yourself. You seem down and you look very unkept when I see you."

"Oh, do I?" Francis was really getting tired of people telling him he looked like crap. It was hard to look his perfect self at a time like this. "My younger son is on zee cusp of dying and I had no idea it was going on. He has four mental illness diagnoses which is incredibly hard for me to understand how zat is because he has always been a very happy kid until the past month. My older son cuts himself to cope and I can't do a damn sing to help him right now, but he seems to be okay for now. I got let go from work because of Alfred being in the hospital and me taking off to take care of him. Of course zey said they understand and when sings calm down, I'm welcome back, but zat just adds to zee stress because zis is not easy! And to top everysing off I'm going srough somewhat of a very messy divorce with a man I considered to be my best friend for zee past twenty-nine years who is the one who caused all of zis. I don't even know who he is anymore. So the lawyers won't stop calling me. It was supposed to be easy. All I wanted was for zat asshole to never be allowed to see zem again. He could have everysing else. But he keeps fighting and I keep wanting to punch him in his smug face.

"I am staying on a friend's couch and have no idea where I'm going to go after Alfred is released because I can't stay here forever and zere really isn't room for Mathieu here. Plus I've already driven my friend's boyfriend out of zee house. And I'm trying so hard to be strong in front of zem, but it's just so hard and it's making me sick. But I'm zeir fazer, so I'm not allowed to be sick or be upset because zey are sixteen and zey need me to be okay for zem. So you could say sings are going great right now. I don't see at all why I'd seem down or look like mierda!" He let out a shuddering breath. Then quietly he mumbled. "Please just don't bring what's wrong wis me up. Please. You're Alfred's therapist."

"Francis, I'm a family therapist here at the hospital. I'm here for the entire family. I was specifically assigned to Alfred during mealtimes, but I'm here for you and Matthew."

"Merci, but it's okay. Alfred will have food his favorite food. It will be brought at two." He told her. He would get Arthur to bring it. He should see what he did to their son.

"Okay. If you need anything, let me know."

"Merci, mademoiselle." He clicked the phone. He dialed the familiar number, his heart in his throat.

* * *

Arthur was laying in the center of the bed in one of Francis' shirts, crying. He had barely moved since Francis left him. He could barely breathe. He realized how truly alone he was. He was destined to be alone forever. He always had been before Francis and he figured he would be after him. It was only once he became friends with that beautiful, charismatic, popular, blonde French boy at boarding school that he didn't feel so alone. His mind wandered back to the day they officially met. Arthur had been fifteen and Francis had been sixteen.

_Arthur had been sitting alone, eating his food when someone slammed the tray flipping all the food over the English boy. Tears had burned in his eyes as the entire cafeteria laughed. He glanced up to see an albino boy in the grade above him laughing. _

_ "Oops, didn't see you there, Casper!" The German boy howled. Arthur hated that nickname they'd given him._

_ "Gilbert, you are so mean!" He had heard the French boy's voice, but didn't look up. They were friends. _

_ "He's just so fun to mess with though." Gilbert laughed._

_ "Leave him alone." The French boy said firmly._

_ "Aw, come on Francis." A Spanish boy's voice had protested through laughter. "He's just so easy."_

_ "Find someone your own age to pick on. Really guys, zat's not funny. Leave poor little __Angleterre alone." _

_ "Whatever. I'm too awesome for this anyway." Gilbert laughed. Antonio followed him. _

_ "Catch up with us later, Francyface." Antonio called. _

_ "Oui!" Arthur thought they had left only to be surprised when he felt the table shift. He looked up to see those sparkling blue eye staring at him with a playful smile. "You do know you're supposed eat your food, not wear it, no?"_

_ "Mind your bloody business, you frog." Arthur had glared at him. The boy's face fell into a frown._

_ "Well zat's not very nice." He had told him, a small frown still lingering on his face as a golden curl fell over one of his eyes, leaving behind the rest of the golden mane. _

_ "Fuck you." _

_ "Excuse me, grumpy pants, but I didn't do anysing to you." Francis had crossed his arms and sat back indignant. _

_ "You're their friend." He nodded in the direction the two boys had gone._

_ "Oui. We are friends…best friends, but zat doesn't mean I did anysing to you. Zey can be real jerks zoe." Arthur couldn't help but notice how nicely the boy's uniform fit him. "I don't like zat zey pick on people, but zey are fun guys when you get to know zem, really."_

_ "Why are you talking to me?" Arthur had asked._

_ "You seem lonely. Everyone deserves at least one friend."_

_ "And what makes you think I don't have friends?" Arthur had snapped at him._

_ "Zis is a boarding school, __Angleterre. We live here most of zee year. I have not seen you wis anyone ever. Always zee lonely boy with zee big green eyes." Arthur couldn't help but wonder why this boy was speaking to him. _

_ He had seen the boy around school, seeming to float gracefully rather than walk. He'd made comments to him about other students before that had made Arthur laugh, but he had never had a conversation with him. He hated him because he hated his friends who tormented him constantly. He was just the same as they were, wasn't he?_

_ "Why are you calling me that?"_

_ "Calling you what?"_

_ "Angle…angle…" Arthur couldn't remember the rest of the word._

_ "__Angleterre?" The French boy asked smiling playfully again._

_ "Yeah, that."_

_ "Well I know you are from England, but I haven't the slightest idea on your name, so I call you Angleterre because a gem like you doesn't not deserve to be soiled with the blandness of English. You seem to have that certain je ne sais quoi zat says to me zat you are special."_

_ "What does it mean?" Arthur asked trying to keep the smile away from his face and keep from blushing._

_ "It's how we say England in __français." He made a sound of a chuckle, but didn't open his mouth. He just smiled at him._

_ "Arthur…Arthur Kirkland."_

_ "Bonjour, Arthur Kirkland. I am Francis Bonnefoy. Would you like to be friends? I always am looking for special people to add to my friends." His blue eyes had danced as he looked at the boy._

_ "I suppose." Arthur said after a minute, though he had wanted to scream yes and hug the boy's neck and cry from happiness and relief that his loneliness would be over._

_ "Well zen it's settled! We are now friends! Let's tell everyone." He smiled squinting his eyes momentarily. "Zat way, people know you're not alone and zey won't pick on you. But first you'll need to change your uniform. Zee food look is not working for you." Francis winked at him. Arthur wanted to cry. His first friend…Finally he'd have something to write home about. Not that his parents cared. They didn't want him. That's why they'd sent him away and never sent for him to come home._

The sound of his phone ringing broke him from his memories. His stomach fluttered when he saw that it was Francis. "Hi." He said softly.

"Can you bring Alfred McDonalds?" The Frenchman's voice was soft, but demanding.

"I…I…of course I can."

"You know his order, no?"

"Yes…I remember."

"Good." He felt like he had been slapped as Francis hung up on him. He missed him so much. He couldn't believe he was still that lonely kid in boarding school who had been terrified to lose his only friend.

He remembered watching from the sidelines as Francis socialized easily and hooked up with person after person. They were roommates the last two years of Francis' school years which had only made things worse. Every time, he'd see him with a new person he got scared and yell at him. He couldn't remember how many fights they had over Francis' popularity. Of course Francis had never really known what they were ever fighting about. He just knew that he'd walk in a room and Arthur would be yelling at him. Arthur remembered every time the split second that Francis' face would show confused hurt before retorting. He was always so scared that Francis would find someone better than him and ditch him and he'd be lonely again.

Arthur remembered crying in their dorm room on Francis' last day at the school. Francis had tried to comfort him, but Arthur had just glared at him and yelled at him. _"Shut up, you bloody frog! We were never friends in the first place!" _He had remembered the tears in Francis' eyes, but he had kissed his cheek and told him he was wrong before he left. Arthur had remembered the crippling loneliness and guilt he felt skipping graduation. He remembered running to the hall to say goodbye and apologize to Francis, only to find it empty. He remembered collapsing against the wall and crying.

_"Angleterre, don't cry." The familiar voice said, a hint of kind laughter in it. He looked up to see the boy standing against the wall opposite him in the wonderfully fit navy blue uniform. _

_ "Francis!" Arthur hand run to him and hugged him tightly crying. "I'm sorry. I thought I'd never see you again."_

_ "Aw, Angleterre, I had told you au revoir, not adieu." The boy had laughed._

_ "Huh?"_

_ "Honestly you should have paid attention in your French lessons. Au revoir means I'll see you later. Adieu is goodbye forever."_

_ "Don't leave. You're my only friend."_

_ "I can't stay forever, but I'll come see you. I'll write and I'll call you. Hey, if you'd like on breaks, you can come see me."_

_ "Really?"_

_ "Oui. You are my best friend afterall."_

_ "I thought Gilbert and Antonio were your best friends."_

_ "Technicalities." He had giggled before hugging his friend back._

A tear slipped down Arthur's face. Francis still hadn't said adieu to him. He clung to the hope that they could be together again. Arthur got up to take a shower. It was almost time for him to leave to see Alfred. As the hot water fell over him, his mind drifted to the first time Francis had kissed him. They'd been nineteen and twenty.

_"So that's basically it. I still haven't heard from my parents besides the random Christmas cards they send. They just told me they moved and there's no return address." Arthur finished. He looked up from his notes to see Francis staring at him with an odd look on his face. "What?" Arthur checked himself in the mirror to make sure there was nothing wrong with him._

_ "Nothing." Francis had said standing up. "Would you like something to drink?"_

_ "I'm okay." Francis shrugged. Arthur's breath caught as Francis's shirt came up when he reached for a glass. _

_ "I think it's stupid that your parents ditched you." Francis said sitting back down on the couch with the glass of wine in his hand. "Who would leave someone as wonderful as Arthur Kirkland?"_

_ "I keep telling you, Francis, I'm not really as special as you think I am. I think you must have been wrong."_

_ "Non. I am never wrong." Francis smiled at him and winked. "You are special."_

_ "I'd wish you'd stop saying that. I've got the self-esteem the size of an ant. My hair is always messy. I have anger issues and I'm really not that smart though I do love a good book which is why I'm studying litera-" He was cut off by Francis pulling him off the chair to his feet. "-ture." He finished swallowing and feeling his breath catch in his throat from being held so close to Francis._

_ "Your eyes shine like emeralds in zee sun. Your hair reminds me of zee dandelions. Your smile can light up a room. Zee way you furrow your brow when you're confused or angry is zee cutest thing in zee world. When you curl up with a cup of tea and a book on zee couch wis a blanket on a rainy day, I know I'll never be able to pull you away. You're intelligent beyond your years and one day when you're a fancy literature professor dealing wis bratty college kids like us, you'll realize how special you are. You're a character in your own book, Arthur Kirkland. You are indispensable. You are extraordinarily special." Francis smiled at him softly, his blue eyes dancing as they ran over the British man's face, admiring and memorizing every cell. He took Arthur's chin between his thumb and forefinger and brushed his lips against them. Arthur's eyes closed. The kiss was only a few seconds. Arthur opened his eyes, tears filling them. _

_ "You…why did you do that?" Arthur trembled worrying that the man he had secretly fallen in love with was just messing around. Francis wasn't the type to commit._

_ "I kissed you because I love you." He smiled. "Because you are special."_

_ "So…what does this mean?"_

_ "Always wis zee need for meanings and labels, aren't you, Arthur?" He smiled again and stood up. "Well if you insist, I'd like you to be my lover."_

_ "L-lover? Like…"_

_ "Like boyfriend. Exclusive of course."_

_ "But…but you don't…you don't…commit." _

_ "I told you zat you're special, mon ami." Francis' eyes danced more than they ever had. Arthur had jumped on him making him fall on the couch as he made out with him._

Arthur got out of the shower and dried himself off. He felt as though he were walking in a haze. He picked up a picture of Francis and him kissing in the snow at twenty-five and twenty-four.

_ "I cannot believe you did that! I cannot believe you are still friends with those jerks! Did you hear what they called me?" Arthur demanded. Francis rolled his eyes at hm._

_ "Zey said you were needy. You are needy. Zat's okay!"_

_ "So you're going to let your friends talk to me like that?"_

_ "Arthur, would you just shut up? I love you, mon amour, but you need to calm down. Zis is really not somesing zat you should get upset over. Besides Gilbert was just joking. He wanted me to go out with zem."_

_ "And do you wish you'd gone with them?"_

_ "Honestly right about now, I do." Francis snapped._

_ "Gilbert said that you were awesome and he was awesome and Antonio was awesome, but I wasn't awesome."_

_ "They are awesome, but don't listen to Gilbert. He doesn't know anysing about zee word. He just srows it around. Zey're really cool if you would actually get to know zem instead of hating zem for what zey did to you before we were friends. Zey were stupid kids."_

_ "It still hurts, Francis."_

_ "Let it go, mon amour! You're hurting yourself and zey've apologized numerous times and zey treat you like zeir friend. Zey consider you a friend."_

_ "ONLY BECAUSE I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND!"_

_ "Do you want to go out wis me wis zem? Is zat what you want?"_

_ "No! You like them better than me, don't you?" Arthur's body was shaking as tears filled his eyes._

_ "Of course not!"_

_ "It doesn't seem like it."_

_ "Do you want to know how much I care about you? How much I love you?" Arthur stared at him, the tears threatening to bust. Francis dropped to a knee and held up a ring. "ZIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! I'll put up wis your crazy __mierda forever! Je t'aime, Arthur Kirkland. I will give up everysing for you. Marry me, you asshole." Arthur couldn't speak he stared at him as the snow fell around him. "Amour, please answer soon. Zee snow is starting to soak srough my pants and freeze my knee." He laughed._

_ "OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!" Arthur jumped on him and kissed him._

What he wouldn't give to go back. Francis had known that he was jealous and irrational even then. He loved him despite his flaws. He had loved and believed in him when he was alone. Arthur felt sick. Everything was his fault. If he could just have seen sooner that Francis really did love him, none of this would have happened. He got in his car and drove toward the hospital. He figured he'd just pick up the McDonald's at the closest one to the hospital. Should he get food for Matthew and Francis? He picked up his phone and dialed.

"What?"

"Hi…um…do you or Matthew want anything?" The phone was silent. Arthur felt tears coming to his eyes and he waited.

"For Mathieu. Merci." He hung up. Arthur smiled through the tears. Maybe…just maybe he could fix this. After all, Francis had thanked him. He ordered the food and made his way to the hospital.

_ "I can't believe we're fazers. We've been married four years!" Francis said through tears hugging Arthur in the waiting room. The birth mother who had chosen the two men had finally given birth. They were anxious to meet the twins. They hadn't even known they were getting twins until the delivery. A young boy of about seventeen came over to them._

_ "Arthur? Francis?" They turned and looked at him. "I'm Tasha's boyfriend, Shawn. She would like for you two to come back and meet them now." They followed nervously behind the teen. He stopped in front of the room. He turned to face them, tears falling down his face. Then he turned back and opened the door. The fifteen year old girl was holding the two bundles in her arms, tears falling down her face. She looked up and smiled at the two men._

_ "Hi. Congratulations. There are two." She let out a laugh. They went over to her slowly. _

_ "This one is the oldest. He's the one you were expecting. Did you decide between Matthew and Mathieu?" She asked. They exchanged a glance and smiled. They had fought for the past three months about that._

_ "Matthew, but he'll be called both." Arthur smiled as he took the baby boy from her arms._

_ "And this one…he came three minutes after. I didn't even have time to process that another baby was there." She laughed. Arthur passed Matthew to Francis and took the baby. He was the unnoticed one. The lonely one. Arthur's heart was claimed. The fact that this one nobody knew about made him feel that this child was more like him. He looked at Francis. _

_ "Alfred." He said softly. "I like Alfred."_

_ "Whatever you'd like, mon cher." Francis wrapped his arm around Arthur's waist and kissed his forehead. "Merci, merci __beaucoup to both of you." He whispered to the teens sitting on the bed watching, through tears._

_ "So…we…we know that we had agreed to an open adoption. But we'd like to change it to a closed adoption if that's okay." Shawn said softly._

_ "Yes, it's not that we don't love them or that we don't want to know them. We just…it will be too hard to see them grow up only through pictures and a visit here or there. If we could just keep up with each other's phone numbers and addresses, I think that would be enough. That way if they need something, you can reach us."_

_ "That…that's okay with me." Arthur glanced at Francis who nodded. "But are you sure that's what you want?"_

_ "Very sure. Just…just take care of them. Take care of them the way we couldn't."_

_ "Forever." Arthur had breathed._

He hated himself. He had promised those two scared teens that he would take care of them. He hated that he'd done what he did. Why did he have to be so scared? Why had he taken everything out the way he had?

He pulled into the hospital parking lot and took a deep breath. This was it. He looked in the mirror and made sure he looked nice. He texted Francis that he was at the hosptial and entered with the food. He found Francis sitting on a chair staring into space fingers tapping his mouth. "Hi." He said barely above a whisper. Even though he could tell that Francis was disheveled, he was still breathtaking to him.

"Hi." Francis said shortly not looking at him and walking toward the elevator.

"Do you want Matthew's?" Francis took it still without looking at him. Francis pushed the button. "How is he?"

"Don't talk to me." Francis snapped. Arthur wanted to cry. He felt the tears coming. Francis glared at his feet. "Don't you dare cry! You are not allowed to cry! You have no right." Arthur pulled himself together and silently followed Francis to the room. He was surprised to find Antonio and Gilbert there. They were both glaring at him.

"Mama! You actually came!" Alfred smiled happily.

"Yeah." He smiled and hugged him. "I brought you food." Alfred's face dropped and his eyes got wide. He started shaking his head and scooting back.

"No. I …I can't. I can't eat anything…especially not that." Francis handed a bag of food to Matthew who was sitting next to Alfred.

"Sweetie, you have to eat something. You love McDonalds."

"Stop it. Why are you doing this?" Alfred asked, trembling. Arthur turned to glance at Francis. He saw him leaning against the wall hugging himself with on arm, his eyes closed and his fingers pressing his mouth. Antonio was rubbing his arm. Gilbert was on the opposite side glaring hard at Arthur. Arthur put down the bag and went closer to Alfred, who shrank back against Matthew.

"Don't make me eat, Mama. Please. I don't want to. I just want to make you love me again." He begged. Arthur fought back tears.

"I'm not going to make you eat. I love you, I swear it."

"No, you don't." Alfred whispered. "You're lying. You said I was disgusting when I eat. You said I would get fat and be disgusting. You said..." Tears fell down the boy's face sending so much pain and guilt through Arthur's heart. It was hard to believe that this is what he had done to that baby boy who nobody knew existed.

"You're not disgusting, Alfie. I promise you're not." He brushed Alfred's hair aside, a faint smile coming to his face as the boy's cowlick stayed in place.

"Yes, I am. That's why you haven't come to see me."

"No…no, that's not it."

"Then why?"

"It's part of the divorce agreement that I can't see you."

"Shut up!" Francis snapped. "Mon dieu, shut up!" He slid down the wall as a sob escaped him and Antonio knelt down talk to him.

"Di-divorce?" Alfred looked at Matthew. "Why? Because of me? You're going to be unhappy because of me?" He started sobbing into his hands.

"No, no, no, baby." Arthur took his face in his hand. "Because of me. You didn't do anything wrong. I did. I messed up. It's my fault. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I hate that I did this to you. Alfie, I'm so, so sorry. You're perfect just how you are. I promise. Please eat, Alfie. Please, for me? You can't…you can't die, Alfred. Matthew, I'm sorry." Matthew didn't look at him, but instead stared at the blanket.

"Don't talk to him! You're not allowed!" Francis sobbed. Antonio and Gilbert picked Francis up off the floor and Antonio led him out of the room. Gilbert stayed to keep watch. Alfred watched the scene silently.

"Please eat." Arthur whispered.

"I can't." Alfred said. "I'm sorry, Mama. I can't." The therapist came in and blinked when she saw Arthur.

"Hi, you must be Mr. Kirkland?" He nodded. "I'm Tanya Maya. I'm Alfred's therapist. Did you bring the food?" He nodded. She took it. Arthur moved out of her way. She began coaxing him to eat which was causing a lot of distress. He watched as Matthew helped, but he still refused. As Alfred started sobbing and begging to not have to eat, Arthur went to leave. Gilbert grabbed him.

"You fucking watch what you did, Casper." Gilbert muttered in his ear. He froze at the old name. Gilbert held him as they continued to get Alfred to eat. He watched in tears as the therapist called in the nurse who turned on the feeding pump as Alfred begged and cried and screamed for them to stop as the infusion came through the line. They gave him a dose of anxiety medication as well before leaving. "I should have never let him talk to you, Casper. He's always had a soft heart and can't stand anyone being alone or picked on. He just felt sorry for you." Gilbert growled. Arthur felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. "Give me your keys."

"What?"

"Give me your fucking keys for your house."

"Why?"

"We're gonna stay here and Matthew is gonna go with Antonio and Francis while they get their stuff. Now give me your keys." Arthur stared at the man. "Give them to me." Arthur shakily handed over the keys. It was real. It was over. "Mattie, go find your dad and Antonio. Here you go." Matthew took the keys and backed slowly out of the room. Alfred lay in the bed crying. He couldn't eat in front of Arthur.

* * *

_I hope you guys enjoyed this. Again, sorry it was so long._

_***note, I originally planned this differently, so I've gone back and changed the first few chapters with names, but nothing else changed, to make it a human AU.***_


	17. Chapter 17

Alfred was discharged from the hospital with a central line port still in place in case he required nutrition after another week and a half. He was curled up on the couch in one of Matthew's hoodies that fit him loosely as he watched his brother slowly drag around the house. Matthew had been excused from classes for a month while Alfred had been in the hospital, but he had to go back today or risk getting held back for low attendance. Antonio had left them to stay in his home alone that last day with Alfred.

The twins had never gone to school without the other mostly because they rarely got sick, but when they did it was both of them at the same time which their fathers always loved…not. When they were babies up until they were five, it meant no sleep for either one of their fathers. It wasn't possible to take turns when two boys of the same age were crying and couldn't sleep at the same time. Matthew also wanted so badly to stay home and spend the last day of who knew long of getting to see him. They had never been apart even for a night until Alfred had been in the ICU.

"Mattie, what are you doing?" Alfred asked softly as Matthew paced in the living room. Matthew looked at him.

"Freddy, will you please have breakfast with me? Just one last time?"

"Mattie, I'm going to the loony bin, not dying." Matthew gave him an annoyed look.

"Try both."

"I'm not dying!"

"Tell me that when you don't have a tube placed in your heart to give you nutrition." Matthew snapped.

"I'm just crazy, Mattie." Alfred hugged himself tighter.

"You're not crazy."

"Yeah, well there are four diagnosed mental disorders that prove you wrong." Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Will you eat with me or not?"

"I can't…"

"Fuck, Freddy!" Matthew kicked the couch and looked at his brother with teary eyes. "I get that you're sick. I get that. I understand that your mind is all twisted and fucked up, but we have always had breakfast before school together. Hell, we've always eaten every meal together and any time we just needed to get away from the fighting, we'd get something to eat even if it was us packing a picnic to take to the backyard. And you're going to be gone probably by the time I get home from school and I don't know when the next time I'm going to see you is. We've never been apart and it scares the shit out of me, so please, Freddy, please eat breakfast with me."

"O-okay." Alfred agreed. Matthew smiled and extended a hand to his brother and pulled him off the couch. Alfred followed his brother into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Francis was still sleeping, but he'd been sure to wake up to cook them breakfast which was why Alfred was awake. He had him help. It was supposed to help.

The two ate silently. Matthew was surprised to see Alfred eating so well. It made him happy. Alfred smiled at his brother as he ate. He hoped so much that Matthew would forget to wake up Francis before he left. He knew he would with the way he'd been acting that morning. This way he could make his brother happy and still be okay.

Matthew glanced at the clock and jumped up. He grabbed his backpack and hugged his brother in a tight hug. He felt like crying as he held him. They were so close and the idea that he wouldn't even get to talk to his brother for a month seemed unbearable. He had always been right there to talk to if he needed. The thought that was even harder still was that he didn't know how long Alfred would be gone. He didn't know when the doctors would let him see or talk to his brother and that scared him. Alfred was his best friend and had been since they were able to understand the concept of other people. It was his favorite thing about being a twin. He had a built in best friend who knew what he wanted to say without him having to say it.

"I love you so much, Freddy. I really hope Papa is able to wait for me to get home to take you to the center. I am going to miss you so much." Matthew gave him one last squeeze. "As soon as you can call me, you better call me."

"I love you too. You'll be the first person I'll call, Mattie." Alfred hugged his brother again and watched happily has Matthew ran out the door to catch the bus forgetting to wake up Francis to watch him. Alfred didn't hear any movement in the house. He smiled. The food was really good and he was alone for the first time in a month…

* * *

Matthew got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach all morning before he remembered during first period he needed to wake up Francis. He excused himself from class to go to the bathroom and called Francis. "Allô?" Francis answered groggily.

"Papa, it's me, Matthew. Um, so I forgot to wake you up before I left. Please tell me you were already awake." He heard his father curse under his breath in French.

"It's okay, Mathieu. Je t'aime. Have a good day." The line clicked. Matthew sighed as the bell rang. He went to his next class. The day was went by so weird. He had friends who talked to him, but they only wanted to talk about what was wrong with Alfred. None of their friend really knew much, but everyone was talking about it.

"Hey look at that, Matthew Bonnefoy-Kirkland without his clone!" He turned around to see three boys behind where he was sitting at the picnic table under the tree where he'd always sat with his brother every day since starting high school. He rolled his eyes. They were the guys who liked to pick on him. He ignored them. "Mattie, I'm talking to you."

"What?" He asked with a forced smile.

"So word on the street is your Euro-trash faggot dads are getting divorced." One of the guys said sitting on the table. Matthew closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Where'd you hear that?" Matthew asked pretending it wasn't true.

"The British fuck is my sister's Literature professor. Apparently his classes are being covered by a TA because he's getting divorced." The boy smirked at him. "I'm not surprised though. I mean I've see the French prick and I bet he's a total whore."

"Shut up." Matthew muttered.

"I also heard you were a little bitch who cuts yourself when you get oh so sad." The boy made a pouty face at him. "Is Mattie a sad wittle boy?" Matthew wondered how he knew so much. "And see that's not even the worst part. I heard the reason they're splitting up is because your brother is fucked in the head. Apparently he thinks the food tastes better coming up than going in. He's a fucking nut job. He must be a little faggot like your daddies because puking your food is a girl's thing." Matthew slowly raised his eyes.

"What the fuck did you say?" Matthew glared.

"Oh come on, Mattie." The guy scoffed. "I guess you and your brother would have been better off being raised by those teen parents of yours even if they didn't love you or want you. God knows why they picked faggy Euro-trash to adopt you two, but I mean why would anyone want a passive little shit like you as a son? And I shudder to think what it would be like to have psycho for a son."

Matthew jumped on the guy and started wailing on him. His fist coming down on the guy's flesh with a satisfying sound encouraged the boy. He stood up and glared at him. "Don't you dare fucking shit about my brother…ever. Don't talk shit about my dads either. You don't talk about me or them and you sure as hell don't call my little brother crazy! You got that?" Matthew glared. The boy nodded. "Bloody brilliant." He glared. "Oh by the way, that's something my 'faggy Euro-trash' dad taught me, but I hear you use it all the time because apparently the UK is fashionable when it suits you."

"I'm sorry, Mattie. I was just joking." The boy said holding up his hands.

"Where the fuck did you hear all that from?"

"My sister. She said your dad's TA told the class he was going through a divorce because one of his sons had started cutting and the other was being treated for bulimia." "You realize I could sue your ass, right?"

"I'm sorry, Mattie. I didn't tell anyone, I swear."

"How did you know which one of us was which?"

"I've walked in on Alfred puking. Don't hit me again, Matthew, please!"

"You're fucking pathetic." Matthew took his food and walked away, his blood still boiling.

He wasn't the passive kid he'd been two months ago. People better not cross him. He was like a mama bear. He'd spent his whole life having Alfred protect him and stand up for him. For the past two months, their roles were changing. He had watched his little brother crumble for the smiling, laughing, joking, happy, rock solid Alfred he'd grown up with to the timid, fragile, broken and often crying childlike teen he had been reduced to. He wasn't going to put up with anyone shit talking his family, not even about Arthur. He was sick of people calling his parents Euro-trash and he was done with listening to the homophobic slurs people used toward them. He was over the adoption comments and jokes. He was not going to stand for them to make mental illness a joke and sure as hell not at his brother's expense. The thing he hated most about everyone calling his parents Euro-trash was that the same people were obsessed with the UK and France. When people would mock them wearing a Union Jack on their shirt or an Eiffel Tower or something to do with Paris or words written in French, it pissed him off. They were hypocritical and assholes.

"Matthew, are you okay? I heard you attacked Rodger." His friend, Ivan, asked him. He shook his head.

"I'm far from okay at this exact moment." Matthew muttered. "Though for the first time in my life, I'm going to take anyone's shit."

* * *

Matthew got home that afternoon to find Francis reading on the couch, with Alfred curled up against him sleeping. He was so relieved to find his brother was still there. "Salut." Matthew smiled giving his father a hug.

"Salut." Francis smiled. _"How was your day?"_

_ "It was okay. I got into a fight."_ Francis raised his eyebrows at him. _"Some jerk at school was calling you and Mama Euro-trash faggots and Freddy crazy. They also said that we were adopted because we weren't wanted. And that's not anything new, but I've just always been too shy to do anything about it. I've always either been invisible or picked on."_

_ "Mattie, while you were acting nobly, it's not worth getting in fights over."_

_ "I refuse to let people call him crazy, Papa! He's not crazy. He's going to go back to that school when he gets out and I will not having coming back to be laughed at."_ Matthew sat down opposite Francis and laid his head against him. Francis put an arm around him. _"And the guy knew you and Mama were getting…ya know. And they said with was our fault, Freddy and I."_

_ "Sweetheart, it is not your fault! It is Arthur's fault."_

_ "I know." _Matthew whispered playing with his sleeve.

"_How did people find out?"_

_ "Apparently a TA is teaching Mama's classes and told his students that he's going to be out because he's getting a divorce and his sons are having psychological issues. Papa, the TA even told them what was going on! They said that I was cutting and Alfred was trying to recover from bulimia. I mean, they didn't use names. I know he has to be specific to get off work with paid leave, but the TA isn't allowed to do that, are they? They're not allowed to just spill out everything. They could have just said personal problems or family crisis." _Matthew pulled his feet on the couch so he knees were pulled up. _"Anyway, the guy's sister is in his class and told him."_

_ "I'll call Arthur and let him know what's going on. That is really unprofessional."_ Francis was angry. Even despite everything, he knew that Arthur would never want that information broadcasted to his students. He was a proud and private man who preferred his private life to stay private.

_"Papa, tell me the truth…was Freddy okay?"_

_ "Don't worry, _mon cher." Francis kissed Matthew on the forehead.

"Papa…"

_"Everything will be just fine."_ Francis hated to lie to his sons, so he simply tried to avoid answering the question to answer the question.

_ "He did it…didn't he? Because I didn't wake you up."_ Francis nodded.

_"Oui, he did it. But it's not your fault. This isn't usual and it's not routine."_

_ "But I knew and I was supposed to wake you up. You've been so tired and I convinced you to get some sleep. I promised I'd make sure he was okay and I'd wake you up before I left. I left him alone for two and a half hours." _Matthew was shaky as the tears fell down his face. Francis took the teen's chin in his hand locked eyes with him.

_"It is not your fault. He is sick, Mathieu. You are sixteen years old. You are not supposed to be worrying or blaming yourself. I shouldn't have gone back to sleep. I am your dad and I am supposed to be the one to worry and take care you both. You're supposed to worry about being sixteen."_

_ "But he's my little brother."_

_ "He's your _twin_ brother. Thirty minutes is not a long time." _Francis smiled at Matthew. _"Stop worrying. You never used to worry about him before."_

_ "I never had to. He was King of the Mountain."_ A faint smile spread across as Matthew remembered his brother climbing up the jungle gym in day care and sitting on top refusing to let anyone on except Matthew because he was the king which meant Matthew was the prince. He did it every day and it continued in preschool and through elementary.

_ "You don't have to now. So tell me, Mattie, do you have your eye on any of the girls?" _Matthew laughed. He talked to Francis a lot about girl he liked in the past, but they hadn't talked in a long time about that.

_"I haven't been in school for a month and I've been worried about Freddy for the past two."_

_ "That doesn't mean you don't have your eye on a little beauty."_

_"There's no one right now."_

_ "Well that's okay."_

_ "I wish I could just worry about girls and planning for college."_ Matthew sighed.

_"Please feel free to act your age at any time." _Francis joked winking at him. _"You're only this young once."_

_ "What were you worried about when you were sixteen? What were you like?"_

_ "I refuse to lie to you, you know that. As a father, I'd like to say I was a saint, but I know that's wrong. I was a parent's worst nightmare. I was wild, mostly to rebel because my parents sent me away for school. Parties, dances, boys, girls, both, neither, sex, drinking, smoking, whether or not I'd get to go back to Paris for break, friends, school, having a great time…" _Francis took a deep breath. _"and making sure that your father had a friend so that my friends would stop tormenting him and beating him up."_

_ "You were the definition of a teenager. Well except for that last one. You were a nice teenager which is rare." _Matthew laughed.

"Oui." Francis chuckled.

_"And what do you worry about now?"_

_ "You and your brother."_ A small smiled lingered on his face. _"I worried about making sure you're okay and that you're having a great childhood. I worry about your future and your happiness. I worry that you'll be like I was at sixteen. That's all I've been worried about since you were born. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of the person who was supposed to be worrying about the same things. I can't forgive myself for that."_

_ "I thought adults were supposed to be worried about money and mortgages and all of that. That's what they tell us in school."_

_ "Matthew, your dad is a fancy literary genius professor at a fancy private school who writes the most amazing poems and novels I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I am an art consultant to very wealthy people who sells my own art in my free time with freelance on the side. We've never had to worry about money."_ Matthew nodded.

Alfred groaned and pulled Francis' arm over his eyes. Francis smiled and glanced at Matthew. "_He's been sleeping all day except when I woke him up for lunch."_

"_I thought you were taking him before I got out of school." _

_ "It didn't seem right, plus his anxiety was through the roof. He needed you to be there when we went."_

_ "So when are we taking him?"_ Francis checked the time. Alfred had to be checked in by five.

"_I guess I should wake him up now_." He hugged Alfred and kissed his forehead before shaking him gently. "Alfie, Alfie, wake up." Alfred sat up rubbing his eyes. Francis handed him his glasses. "How did you sleep?" Francis smiled at him

"Really well, surprisingly." Alfred said softly.

"Mattie's home." Alfred smiled when he saw his brother and leapt across their father to hug him. Matthew laughed and hugged his brother back.

"How was school?" He asked.

"I beat up Rodger."

"Finally. I'm proud of you. That's guy's a tool."

"I don't think I'll ever be ignored at school again."

"Great. I can't have people sitting on my brother while I'm gone." Alfred said softly as tears filled his eyes. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too." Matthew smiled. "But you have to get better." Alfred nodded. He pushed himself back so that he was no longer leaning over Francis.

"Promise me something." Alfred said to Francis, though he was looking at both of them.

"What's zat, mon cher?" Francis asked.

"Promise me you'll both still go to Paris in a couple weeks when Mattie is done with school. Mémé and Pépé are expecting you and it's not right to not go because of me." Francis sighed.

"We can't leave you here by yourself."

"Give Mama temporary permission."

"No, Alfred. My parents will just come here."

"You love Paris, Papa." Alfred protested.

"I do, but Paris will still be zere when you get better." Francis smiled lovingly at the boy. Alfred huffed.

"You can't not go! It's a tradition."

"Alfred, we're not going to the UK anymore and that's a tradition." Matthew pointed out. Alfred looked at him with an annoyed expression.

"Honestly, Matthew, who _really_ wants to go there? It's cloudy and rains a lot and the food sucks. It's not even like we ever got to see family there. They don't talk to him, remember. And by extension don't talk to us. They don't even know we exist. Paris is amazing! And our family actually talks to us…even if they do give you a hard time on me not knowing French, Papa." Francis made a face to show he agreed.

"We'll go to Paris when you are well. Your grandparents want to see you anyway. Zey are worried about you." Francis silently added, "and me."

"Please don't change your plans for me."

"Alfred…No. Zat is zee end of discussion. Zey already have zeir tickets to come in a week." Francis brushed a lose curl behind his ear. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to allow Arthur to be involved with eizer of you in any way. If you want to see him, you will have to wait until you are eighteen." Alfred sighed and stood up.

"Okay. So I guess we have to go then?" He asked shakily. Francis nodded and stood up. Alfred picked up a bag and stood there awkwardly. Francis grabbed his keys and hugged him tightly before leading him and Matthew to the car. They both sat in the back, speaking to each other in the secret way they had since they were little. Francis never figured out their code, but he kept seeing Alfred snicker.

Alfred stared tensely at the psychiatric hospital in from of him. It was huge building. Magnolia Creek State Behavior Hospital was written in a quaint font across the building. "Are you ready?" Francis asked softly. Alfred slowly nodded and got out of the car. He took Matthew's hand in his the way he always had when they were little only this time instead of to comfort his brother, he was trying to comfort himself. Matthew rubbed his thumb against the back of Alfred's hand.

"It will be okay." He whispered. Alfred took a few shuddering breaths before he nodded and let go of his hand, hugging the bag to his chest. They were greeted by a girl who looked to be in her late teens or early twenties.

"Welcome to Magnolia! How can I help you?" She asked.

"Um, hi. I am checking in my son, Alfred Bonnefoy-Kirkland. Dr. Sanchez is his psychiatrist." Francis nervously fumbled with a pen.

"Oh yes. You barely made it in time. If you could just fill out these papers for me, we can then take you on a tour of the facility and get him ready." They sat down and Alfred hugged his brother's arm laying his head on his shoulder as he shook. Matthew hugged him awkwardly with his other arm.

"You'll be okay. If you really need me, you can call. I'll answer." Alfred nodded. Francis finished the forms and the girl smiled up at them.

"Okay, right this way." She led them through building, Alfred still hugging his brother's arm tightly. Once the tour was finished they took them into a room where they searched his belonging and made him take out the string in the hoodie. All too soon, Francis and Matthew gave tearful goodbyes to Alfred. Alfred and Matthew hugged each other for a very long time talking to each other in that secret language. Francis put his hand on Matthew's shoulder and the two boys pulled tearfully apart. Francis hugged Alfred one last time before kissing his forehead.

"Je t'aime, mon cher." He whispered to him before they were led out and Alfred was led it. When they got to the car, Matthew started sobbing into his father's chest.

* * *

Francis pulled into the driveway of the house he'd lived with his family for the last fifteen years. He opened the door with his key and walked in. When he had come with Antonio, they hadn't gotten all of his clothes. He made his way upstairs and to the bedroom. He had just let Arthur know he was coming.

Arthur was sitting at the desk. He didn't say anything as Francis came in. Francis had a suitcase and laid it on the bed as he began to pack up his clothes. Arthur's sniffling and the whooshing of the clothes being fold was the only thing that broke the silence. Francis zipped the suitcase and picked it up. He heard Arthur start hyperventilating.

"Please…please don't go." Arthur begged grabbing Francis' hand.

"Leave me alone." Francis muttered.

"I can't…I can't live without you."

"Yes, you can." Francis said with closed eyes.

"Please, Francis! I'm begging you! Please!" Arthur had collapsed on his knees and he was sobbing into his hands. "I don't want to be alone again." He whispered.

"Too bad." Francis mumbled.

"W-wait." Arthur stood up and held his hands in a begging manner as he sobbed. "G-Gilbert s-s-said something t-t-to me in the hospital." Francis rolled his eyes. "I-Is the reason you t-t-talked to me because you felt sorry f-f-for me." Arthur asked. He needed to know the truth. He needed to be assured that Francis really had cared for him and it hadn't all been an elaborate joke.

"Yes." Francis said coldly, shattering Arthur's heart in a billion pieces. He fell against the way. "I felt sorry for you. I felt sorry for zee way my friend treated you, zee way Gilbert would pick you out of a crowd to yell some stupid insult and zee way Antonio would laugh. I felt sorry for you every time I saw Gilbert roughing you up. I felt sorry for you, so I always stopped zem. And I felt sorry for you because you didn't have any friends and you never got any packages. I felt so fucking sorry for you." Arthur let out a choked sob. "So one day I sought to myself if only zat kid had friend, zen maybe sings would be better. I sought if only someone would talk to him. And zen I realized I was someone. So I planned on eating lunch wis you. I saw my friends messing wis you, so I made zem leave you alone and I sat down and talked to you. All because I felt sorry for lonely little Angleterre."

"So I was right. You weren't really my friend." Arthur asked through a choked sob, staring at Francis who had tears running down his face.

"When I sat down across from you…somesing in me was moved. I don't know what, but I knew you were special and I didn't feel sorry for you anymore. I just wanted desperately to be your friend. But…I didn't stay your friend for long." Francis walked to him and shakily dried the man's tears. "I fell in love wis you in a short year." He took Arthur's face and kissed him. "And I put up wis your shit because I understood zat my Angleterre didn't know how special he was. I knew you were so scared to lose zee only sing zat you had. I understood because I felt it too. I was so scared to lose you. It took you three hundred and sixty-five days to steal my heart. You kept it for twenty-eight years." He whispered and kissed Arthur sweetly. "And in one day, you managed to break and mangle it beyond recognition. You broke it so badly that I can't ever get it back." Francis' blue eyes filled with tears reminded Arthur of the ocean. He hated that he had filled those once bright, blue eyes with pain and tears to make them dull. He didn't see the life in his eyes anymore. Suddenly he couldn't breathe. Francis' body was pressed gently against his. Francis held this face in his hand, stroking either side with his thumbs as he stared down at Arthur, his dead eyes searching. He brushed his lips softly against Arthur's one last time.

"Adieu, Angleterre." He whispered slipping the key in Arthur's hand before walking away from the person he loved more than anything in world and leaving his heart with him.

* * *

**_Welp there's the last chapter. Epilogue up next and this baby will be done! _**

**_So while writing, this chapter I had the idea of writing a prequel to this story about when Arthur and Francis were in boarding school. What do y'all think? Let me know! :)_**


	18. Epilogue: Five Years Later

Alfred had stayed in the treatment facility for a year and a half before he was finally released. While his preoccupation with food and weight were still something he was concerned about, it wasn't an issue anymore. He knew that it would always be that way. He continued to see a psychologist and maintained in medication regimen to keep him controlled.

The two boys had decided to reconnect with their father when they turned eighteen. He'd gone to therapy and was getting the help he needed, so Francis cautiously accepted it. They had a very close relationship with him now and they were very happy with how things had turned out. Alfred still had trouble eating in front of his father, however, despite his recovery. Francis knew this and was worried that the party for the boy's twenty-first birthday may be stressful. They really wanted him to come to the party that Francis was throwing…but there would be food. He was already worried about Alfred eating enough as it was. He was scared that Arthur here would cause a relapse. He heard a key in the door of the apartment.

"Papa, we're here!" Matthew called. He came in with his fiancée, Emma. The two had met in the university. They were both going into social work and counseling. The people who had helped his brother out had been right about him being great for the job. Francis approved of Emma very much, though it didn't hurt that she spoke perfect French.

Alfred followed them in. He had never gone back to the same kid he was prior to everything. He was quiet and barely spoke. It was as though he and Matthew had flipped personalities. Next to him was his girlfriend, Natalya. She was their friend, Ivan's little sister. They had only recently gotten together. Alfred didn't feel like he was ready for the longest time. She was really sweet and understanding when it came to his issues. Francis loved her too.

"Aw, bonjour! Happy birthday!" He hugged Matthew and Emma. They exchanged some gossip in French and laughed. Francis then hugged Natalya.

"You're looking very lovely this evening." He complimented her. She smiled.

"Thank you." She said politely. Francis hugged Alfred tight and left an arm over his shoulder.

"I'm going to borrow my son. Please, make yourself at home." He led Alfred into the kitchen. A big part of Alfred's continued recovery was actively participating in preparing the food. Alfred hated it and it would often still give him break through anxiety, so he'd have to take an emergency medicine to calm him down.

"How are you doing, mon cher?" Francis asked him as he washed his hands. Alfred was hugging himself leaning against the counter watching the water.

"I'm okay." He said barely above a whisper. He offered Francis a soft smile.

"Is today a bad day?"

"Not bad…but not good." Alfred shifted uncomfortably. Francis hugged him. He rested his chin on his son's head.

"We don't have to do zis if you're comfortable."

"No, it's good for me." Alfred smiled. He washed his hands too. There was a knock on the door and Francis felt his stomach drop. He hoped it was Gilbert or Antonio or even Ludwig, but not Arthur. He hadn't seen him since the day he had told him adieu. He still missed him like crazy and still cried himself to sleep some nights. He'd have memories of them together and when he realized that was in the past, he couldn't help, but sob. He breathed a sigh of relief when Gilbert walked in with his brother and Feliciano.

"How's college going?" Francis asked Alfred.

"It's okay. I've been getting good grades, but the stress isn't really good for my routine. It's nice that Mattie still lets me stay with him even though Emma's moved in and they're getting married after graduation."

"You can do it, Alfred. If sings get to be too much zough, don't be afraid to rest. You need to take care of yourself."

"I know." Francis watched as Alfred put the chips on a platter. "How are you doing?" Alfred glanced at Francis. "You're going to see Mama for the first time in what, five years?"

"To be honest, I'm freaking out a little. I don't know how I'll be."

"He's changed a lot. He's calmer and more patient. He's a lot kinder. He reminds me a lot of how he was when I was really little. He doesn't get angry really anymore."

"I'm really happy to hear zat."

"You are?"

"Oui. I sink it is great zat sings are better."

"Papa?" Mattie had come into the kitchen. The boys were both looking at him now, standing next to each other and grinning.

"I'm nervous." Francis laughed.

"Papa, we know what we want for our birthday." Mattie smiled.

"And what is zat?"

"We want you to be happy again." Alfred smiled.

"Boys, I am happy. You're both okay and you're about to graduate from college and Mattie, you're about to get married. And Alfred, you've finally started dating which is a big step. I'm happy."

"No, you're not." They said in unison. Francis blinked at them and crossed his arms.

"Francypants, give me a beer!" Gilbert shouted from the living room. Francis excused himself before taking beverages to his guests. He came back.

"Okay, what about me not being happy?"

"We know you miss Mama." Alfred said.

"A lot." Matthew added.

"Well, yeah, of course I do, but…"

"No buts. Papa, you should see. He's changed a lot. He's fun and I love to spend time with him now. I was really scared at first and I had to make sure I went with Matthew, but he's really great now. I don't think I've ever liked him better. Just go on a date with him." Alfred said.

"Or hell, just hook up with him." Matthew laughed. "Maybe getting you laid would turn that frown upside down, am I right?" Alfred gave him a look before laughing.

"You're right! That's all that they needed to do any time they got in a huge fight."

"I can't." Francis said annoyed that they even suggested it. "Zis wasn't a fight! You almost died, Alfred. And could have died too if it had gone on for longer zan it did." Francis was angry now. How could they honestly compare the two?

"Well you're going to talk to him regardless of if you want to give us a happy birthday or not." Matthew said leaving the kitchen. Francis watched him leave.

"I cannot even believe how much you two both changed. You like switched bodies or something." He mumbled. Alfred smiled.

"That's what a mental breakdown does." Francis glanced at him. He was right. Matthew had had to step up into the role of the stronger brother. It never went back. There was a knock at the door. Francis froze. He knew that knock.

"You're getting that." Matthew said coming back into the kitchen and pushing is father to the door. Francis sighed and nervously opened the door to a smiling Arthur.

"Hello." He smiled and handed him so a bouquet of flowers.

"Hi." Francis turned around walked away from the door. Arthur caught him by the wrist. "Francis, please. Talk to me. That's what they want." Francis closed the door and stepped outside. He pinned Arthur to the wall.

"You do not get to do zat!" Francis was shaking, tears shining in his eyes. "You do not get to act like you're doing what zey want, like you're a good father."

"I admit that I messed up, Francis. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I got help though because I wanted to repair what I could. I brought some brandy and scotch for the party and these for you, I thought maybe we could…" He was cut off suddenly as Francis was kissing him. Just as suddenly as it had started, Francis pulled away and walked inside. Arthur followed in a daze. Arthur smiled when he saw Matthew curled up with Emma talking with who he guessed was Natalya. He hadn't ever met her yet.

"Happy birthday, Mattie!" He hugged him tightly before hugging Emma. "You must be Natalya. I'm Arthur. I'm Alfred's other dad." She looked at him with cold eyes before shaking his hand.

"I've heard so much about you." She said in an icy tone that made Arthur wonder why he'd even come. Gilbert walked into the room from somewhere in the hall and froze when he saw Arthur.

"Casper? What the hell is Casper here for?"

"Gilbert, shut up. Don't call him zat." Francis snapped from the kitchen.

"Uh oh. It's starting again." Gilbert muttered. Arthur knew everyone with the exception of Alfred, Matthew and Emma hated him and rightfully so. He wasn't sure about how Ludwig and Feliciano felt about him, but they were ignoring him. He knew they had always been more Francis' friends. He was determined to show everyone he had changed. He stood in the entrance of the kitchen.

"Hey, Alfie! Happy birthday!" Alfred gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, Mama." He smiled before going to him slowly before grabbing him quickly in a hug. "Want to help Papa and I?"

"Oh I couldn't do that." Francis glanced at him.

"Why?" Alfred asked. "You need to learn to cook."

"I can't cook, Alfie. I'm sure it's a curse." Alfred laughed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Forcing someone to eat your cooking is pretty much abuse." Alfred laughed and went back to cooking. Arthur froze.

"I'm sorry." Arthur whispered.

"Oh, Mama, I didn't…"

"No, it's okay." Arthur said forcing a smile. "Don't worry at all." He hugged him again. There was a knock at the door.

"Alfred, would you mind getting that?" Francis asked.

"Sure." Alfred left the kitchen and Francis grabbed Arthur by the hand and pulled him to him. He held his hips and stared into his eyes.

"I'm only doing zis because zey want it." Francis said quietly.

"Well we can't let them down on their birthday."

"Zat's what I'm sinking." Francis giggled. Arthur wrapped his arms around Francis' neck and their lips met. Francis felt okay for the first time in five years. He didn't feel the crippling sadness in his soul. He felt himself get picked up and sat on the counter.

"Get a room." Alfred joked, coming in laughing. The two pulled away from each other, blushing but giving each other wanting glances. Alfred noticed Francis' eyes were dancing happily again for the first time since before he found out about Alfred's problem. He had missed that. He knew more than ever that this is what he and Matthew wanted. "Uncle Tony's here with Lovi."

"Okay, thank you, Alfred." Francis said sliding off the countertop.

"Papa, I mean it. Get a room. I got this."

"Alfred!" Francis gasped.

"I'm serious. Mattie and I want you to be happy. Get out of here you crazy kids!" Arthur took Francis' and led him out of the room. "It's the last room on the left." Alfred called. Arthur held up a thumbs up to him as he led a protesting Francis out of the room to the bedroom. He closed the door and looked at Francis, whose eyes were filled with tears.

"I can't do zis." Francis whispered.

"Then let's just talk."

"I mean I can't be near you." Francis said. "It hurts too much."

"You were just making out with me." Arthur chuckled.

"That's why it hurts so much!" Francis insisted. "Because that's all I want and you ruined it!"

"I know you hate me, Francis, but…"

"I DON'T HATE YOU!" Francis yelled. "Zat's zee problem." He let out a shuddering breath. "This would be so much easier if I hated you. I never hated you. No matter how much I want to hate you. I can't." Arthur took Francis' face in his hand.

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do! Because every time I think of you or look at you all I can think is that you ruined everything. You practically killed our sons and I can't hate you for it. And I hate myself because I still love you despite all of that. I hate myself for not hating you." Arthur laced his fingers with Francis'.

"Francis, don't you dare hate yourself."

"I can't help it." Francis sobbed.

"Listen," Arthur sat him on the bed. "I wasn't a good person. I was broken and I had issues from my childhood that I never talked about. I can't…I can't talk to you about them yet, but I promise you that I'm better. I've been in therapy for five years working things out. I don't lose my temper anymore and rarely get bothered. I hate what I did and if I could, I'd go back and change it all. I can't though. I just want to move forward. I want to move forward with you." The Englishman smiled at him.

"You hurt us all so badly, Arthur…"

"I know. I'm not going to say sorry anymore because sorry doesn't change anything. It doesn't change what I did. It will never take away Alfred's eating disorder or depression or anxiety. It will never help Matthew cope. And it will never mend your broken heart. So here's what I promise you if you give me the chance like they did. I promise you that I will make you the happiest man alive. I promise to never raise my voice to you. I promise to never criticize you or make you feel anything less than perfect because you…you are the only perfect soul I've ever known."

"I don't know if I can trust you again, Arthur." Francis whispered.

"I understand. Please just give me the chance to show you that I've changed. Give me the chance to make you happy. Give me the chance to fix our family." Tears were pouring down Francis' cheeks as he stared at him. He wanted so badly to say yes, but he was struggling to decide.

"If you hurt me again…" Arthur put a finger to his lips and smiled.

"I won't. I promise." Francis moved Arthur's hand away.

"If you hurt me again I don't know if I'll be able to take it." Francis whispered.

"I won't hurt you."

"Know that if you hurt zem again, I will end you. You're fucking lucky zat we didn't send your ass to prison. The only reason we didn't is because we didn't want to see you face."

"I won't hurt them. I wouldn't even dream of it."

"Zey want zis and I want zis and you want zis."

"It's what they want and it's what we want."

"Then why's zere so much pain?" Francis asked. "The sought of me agreeing hurts so much."

"I know that feeling, my love. It's the fear of being hurt, the fear of being abandoned. It's the fear of being betrayed. It's a fear that hurts. I felt that until I started therapy. It's a nasty feeling. But, my love, I promise to take that hurt and fear away. I promise to be so good to you and to our family until I take my last breath." Tears were welling in Arthur's eyes.

"O-okay." Francis whispered. Arthur smiled at him and let out a laugh through his tears.

"R-really?" Francis giggled and nodded. "This…this is best news." Arthur jumped on him in a hug. They held each other crying and laughing until Matthew knocked on the door and Arthur opened it. Alfred was standing behind his brother, both boys curious.

"He agreed." Arthur laughed. The boys looked at each other and pounced on Arthur in a hug before going to Francis. Then the piled into a family hug that meant new beginnings.

* * *

_**Well that's all for WWIII! Thank you so much for reading. You were all very lovely readers. I love you all! **_

_**So for this story, I can't decide between a prequel (boarding school) or sequel (Mattie and Alfred are adults and old demons resurface) or both. **_

_****update: I'm going to do both! Here's the link to the sequel: **_

_** s/10557106/1/Tear-Don-t-Fall**_


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